Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 163 "Bench of Dreams"Small and Specialty Poems
21 total reviews
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
you have followed the format of the contest with repeat words
you allow the reader to see and feel your trip together to be content and dream of your tomorrows
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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good luck in the contest
you have followed the format of the contest with repeat words
you allow the reader to see and feel your trip together to be content and dream of your tomorrows
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014
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Thank you so much Smoothiecool.
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most welcome..SC
Comment from Aiona
What a lovely poem. It follows the structure outlined by starkat, including the title! Normally I prefer poems that rhyme, and the structure of the blitz is such that it doesn't need to, but you made parts of rhyme, and that was enjoyable! I also found your topic amusing -- since the theme of the contest was "take a trip" -- you incorporated that theme well. I love trips of the imagination. That's what writing is all about, isn't it? :)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2014
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What a lovely poem. It follows the structure outlined by starkat, including the title! Normally I prefer poems that rhyme, and the structure of the blitz is such that it doesn't need to, but you made parts of rhyme, and that was enjoyable! I also found your topic amusing -- since the theme of the contest was "take a trip" -- you incorporated that theme well. I love trips of the imagination. That's what writing is all about, isn't it? :)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2014
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Thank you for such a glowing review the is studded with stars. I really appreciate it. Yes, i agree.
Comment from shelley kaye
beautiful poem.
however....
The title must be only three words, with some sort of preposition or conjunction joining the first word from the third line to the first word from the 47th line, in that order.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2014
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beautiful poem.
however....
The title must be only three words, with some sort of preposition or conjunction joining the first word from the third line to the first word from the 47th line, in that order.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2014
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Well at least I got only 3 words in the title. . So technically the title should be -When Two Content
You docking a whole star on a 50 line poem for that?
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technically your title should be:
when [preposition or conjunction] content
rules are rules
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Ok, When So Content
Btw:
The rule were also that it was to be about a trip. Other than the first few lines, yours was mostly about love.
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my first line was "take a trip".
after the first line in a blitz poem, the poem goes to wherever the words take you lol
Comment from rrabinow
I enjoyed reading your poem. Great job with the blitz poem prompt. I love how your poem turned out. Great flow. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2014
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I enjoyed reading your poem. Great job with the blitz poem prompt. I love how your poem turned out. Great flow. Best of luck.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2014
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Thank you rraninow
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You are welcome.
Comment from sunnilicious
That's a cute statue. Such a nice poem. How we dream so innocently that young in life... Great visual imagery. Good work. Nice.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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That's a cute statue. Such a nice poem. How we dream so innocently that young in life... Great visual imagery. Good work. Nice.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014
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Thank you Alicia.
Comment from adewpearl
You follow this interesting form well
I like the way it flows and the stream of consciousness flow of thoughts
I like that this is more about traveling in one's imagination than about a specific trip, like to the shore
Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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You follow this interesting form well
I like the way it flows and the stream of consciousness flow of thoughts
I like that this is more about traveling in one's imagination than about a specific trip, like to the shore
Brooke
Comment Written 25-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Thank you Brooke. I so glad you came along.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed use of the Blitz form to share your stream-consciousness reflections about collaboration. Thanks for adding the parallel photograph as well. I especially liked the two senses of "map" and your alliteration of "f's". Best wishes in the contest from Costa Rica- Joan
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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I enjoyed use of the Blitz form to share your stream-consciousness reflections about collaboration. Thanks for adding the parallel photograph as well. I especially liked the two senses of "map" and your alliteration of "f's". Best wishes in the contest from Costa Rica- Joan
Comment Written 24-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Hi happy traveler! I am glad your enjoyed it.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel
"Bench of Dreams" is a winner in my estimation. Good luck in the contest. I leave it up to your honesty to say you adhered to the writing promtp and the requirements of the form. It did have great rhythm and rhyme which I resonated to. It flowed delightfully. It is a dream vacation because only in a dream could such a trip happen so smoothly.
Preston
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Hi, Treischel
"Bench of Dreams" is a winner in my estimation. Good luck in the contest. I leave it up to your honesty to say you adhered to the writing promtp and the requirements of the form. It did have great rhythm and rhyme which I resonated to. It flowed delightfully. It is a dream vacation because only in a dream could such a trip happen so smoothly.
Preston
Comment Written 24-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Why thank you Preston for such an eloquent review and recognition.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I felt like I was sitting next to the children hearing their conversation about the trip they are planning. Great job and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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I really enjoyed reading this poem. I felt like I was sitting next to the children hearing their conversation about the trip they are planning. Great job and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Thank you Barbara.
Comment from kiwijenny
Treischel I love the flow of your Blitz poem.....It rolls off the tongue
The photo prompt for this is great too ............Content here together...content here to dream.......well done
God bless
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Treischel I love the flow of your Blitz poem.....It rolls off the tongue
The photo prompt for this is great too ............Content here together...content here to dream.......well done
God bless
Comment Written 24-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2014
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Thank you kiwijenney.
