Short Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Gravity"A Collection Of Short Form Poetry
11 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. In your dreams you can travel to the moon and defy gravity as easily as any other limitations, but when we awake, we are back with our feet planted on earth and the let down is upon us. Nicely done.
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Very interesting. In your dreams you can travel to the moon and defy gravity as easily as any other limitations, but when we awake, we are back with our feet planted on earth and the let down is upon us. Nicely done.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
Comment from LoannaLois
Just how did you find that incredible illustration to your great lune? I think you lune speaks volumes and is deeper than it first seems.
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Just how did you find that incredible illustration to your great lune? I think you lune speaks volumes and is deeper than it first seems.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent 5/3/5 syllable count for the Lune
I love the image I form in my mind of someone falling off the moon and crashing to the ground
and a most evocative final line
Brooke
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Your poem is in excellent 5/3/5 syllable count for the Lune
I love the image I form in my mind of someone falling off the moon and crashing to the ground
and a most evocative final line
Brooke
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
Comment from royowen
A very clever lune poetry contest entry! I liked this one particularly because it is a very clever entry, the artwork is also impressive, and flatters the narrative in the poem, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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A very clever lune poetry contest entry! I liked this one particularly because it is a very clever entry, the artwork is also impressive, and flatters the narrative in the poem, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much. Trying to find a little something different. So pleased you enjoyed it!!
Comment from Jean Lutz
Since I don't know a lot about science I wasn't sure about the title -- but this message I got. Looks like a winner to me and I wish you well.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Since I don't know a lot about science I wasn't sure about the title -- but this message I got. Looks like a winner to me and I wish you well.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much. It's doing fairly well. I'm pleased that you think highly of it. I can't ask for more!!
Comment from ~Dovey
This Lune entry provokes powerful imagery. I love the illustration and impactful word choices. It should do very well. I wish you the best of luck in this contest. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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This Lune entry provokes powerful imagery. I love the illustration and impactful word choices. It should do very well. I wish you the best of luck in this contest. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for the encouragement. Hard to come up with something exciting with a few words. We'll see!
Comment from kiwisteveh
When you only have 13 syllables to work with, you might as well make them as cryptic and evocative as possible as you have done here...
My stab at interpretation would be that it's about grand dreams being thwarted by the imperatives of everyday life.
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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When you only have 13 syllables to work with, you might as well make them as cryptic and evocative as possible as you have done here...
My stab at interpretation would be that it's about grand dreams being thwarted by the imperatives of everyday life.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Yes. You have it pretty much on the money. Tried to leave some room for one to put their own spin on it. Thank you!
Comment from ProjectBluebook
This looks fantastic and the words are perfect! Locve this picture for the poem. Am I crazy as a loon. check e mail ... Made me smile, crazy about this picture!!!!! wackydo, do loco
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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This looks fantastic and the words are perfect! Locve this picture for the poem. Am I crazy as a loon. check e mail ... Made me smile, crazy about this picture!!!!! wackydo, do loco
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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I thought it was a cool picture too. Glad you liked this, I did too. We'll see how it does!!
Comment from nordicgirl
I can scarcely believe you have packed this much power into so few words. An amazing short piece. Thought provoking to say the least. A certain winner in my opinion. Bravo!! NG
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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I can scarcely believe you have packed this much power into so few words. An amazing short piece. Thought provoking to say the least. A certain winner in my opinion. Bravo!! NG
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Wow. That is a humbling thing to hear. Thank you so much. I am so thrilled to hear you say so.
Comment from Val Crisson
Well, all I can say is WOW! There is so much drama packed into this lune, that I'm almost overwhelmed. I really like the lune, but I'm not sure the title works. Just a thought.
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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Well, all I can say is WOW! There is so much drama packed into this lune, that I'm almost overwhelmed. I really like the lune, but I'm not sure the title works. Just a thought.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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What a great review. I'm just delighted. I am pleased you mentioned the title. I thought the same thing. I have some time to mull it over. Thanks for your thoughts!
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I did change the title to Gravity. Much better, I think. Thanks for the tip. Most appreciated!!
