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Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Kitty and Meow-Meow At the Bar"Shorter stories
29 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a brilliant ending, the man going out the door with Sylvia, was Kitty's husband!! She didn't seem to mind, either. This was an original story for this contest. It's been around so many times, it's refreshing to read something different. Well done, Bill.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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What a brilliant ending, the man going out the door with Sylvia, was Kitty's husband!! She didn't seem to mind, either. This was an original story for this contest. It's been around so many times, it's refreshing to read something different. Well done, Bill.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you, Sandra. Some that I thought were good may have been misunderstood at the time.
Comment from Spitfire
Wow, I never expected that ending. Actually two surprises in one if I'm interpreting this right. The clue is that both names make one think "pussy." Sylvia doesn't fit. :-)
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Wow, I never expected that ending. Actually two surprises in one if I'm interpreting this right. The clue is that both names make one think "pussy." Sylvia doesn't fit. :-)
Comment Written 09-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Shari, for giving this is look. I've had to explain the ending a couple times.
Comment from emkoutny
You are too funny! At first you feel a little sad for the girls-rough way to make a buck. And then there is the younger competition! Then you find out Sylvia is a man. There was some foreshadowing that led me to think she was a shemale...the line about something strange in her pants.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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You are too funny! At first you feel a little sad for the girls-rough way to make a buck. And then there is the younger competition! Then you find out Sylvia is a man. There was some foreshadowing that led me to think she was a shemale...the line about something strange in her pants.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Thank you, em, for the excellent review. Some folks missed that plot item about Sylvia. Can you imagine?
Comment from flip86
I get the gist when I find out that the guy who exited with Sylvia is her husband. It is not funny, but that's the beauty of fiction, you are in control of the story. In real life, I am surprised how Kitty handled it so calmly and with humor. Fiction or not, and in this world of ours, we could need a good laugh sometimes. You made me smile.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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I get the gist when I find out that the guy who exited with Sylvia is her husband. It is not funny, but that's the beauty of fiction, you are in control of the story. In real life, I am surprised how Kitty handled it so calmly and with humor. Fiction or not, and in this world of ours, we could need a good laugh sometimes. You made me smile.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Hi, Flip. Well, Sylvia is the husband of Kitty, one of the bar ladies. The poor guy leaving with Sylvia is, as yet, unaware that she is a he. Is that funnier? Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
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You're right. It is even funnier. You write deep making readers think. Thanks for the correction and making me chuckle.
Comment from Callisto
Great little story Bill...short, sweet and with a great finish. I'm fairly new here at Fanstory and some of the writing I have read can really drag on and on. I want to be honest in my reviewing but also got rebuffed recently by only awarding a 4 star rating to someone who thought his work deserved nothing less than a 5.
No problem giving you a 5 here though and I can do it with a smile.
Callisto
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Great little story Bill...short, sweet and with a great finish. I'm fairly new here at Fanstory and some of the writing I have read can really drag on and on. I want to be honest in my reviewing but also got rebuffed recently by only awarding a 4 star rating to someone who thought his work deserved nothing less than a 5.
No problem giving you a 5 here though and I can do it with a smile.
Callisto
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Reviewing is a learned process and I went through the same thing. Since points are important to people climbing the charts, they like to stay highly approved. A four, to those people, implies that something needs to be corrected. They will then want to know what that is. There are some published authors who believe a four is sufficient for anything found here, and that higher ratings should be reserved for publishable work. It ought to even out as it goes. If you give someone a three, however, be prepared to tell them what is the glaring problem. Thank you for the excellent review. Happy day.
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Thanks for the advice
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I can see that this site is a bit political....I either give people a high rating or I am usually going to get some negative feedback..at least from the higher ranked writers. That's not good. Not everything written by a higher ranked individual is a 5 star piece. I guess it's a choice one has to make. Rate something according to how you really see it and face the music or be politically correct.....which is just a game. The piece I read that you wrote I honestly felt was a 5.
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Be true to yourself. People on the site are not to challenge your rating beyond asking what they could do to improve. Adewpearl, a matron on this site, once told me (and others) that she typically gives a 5, unless there is some grammar or punctuation error that needs to be addressed. She'll then give them a 4 with the proviso that she'll raise it after it's revised (and they let her know).
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So everybody gets a first place ribbon so no one gets their feelings hurt. Hmmmm....
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When I was in the Marines one million years ago, we had a rating system for reporting juniors' fitness. The top mark was OUTSTANDING (OS). The second was EXCELLENT (EX). The third was ABOVE AVERAGE (AA). If you received an AA, your career was going south. I know there isn't a clear parallel here yet. The point is, when everyone gets used to seeing OS or EX, an AA is a sign of problems. Writers (on this site, and this is just my opinion) have adopted the idea that 5 stars means they're in the ball park. A 4 then means that they have shown up with the wrong glove or forgot to tar they're bat. A 3 then means, you should have stayed in the locker room, your shit is in the street, hit yourself over the head and get on the DL until you're recovered.
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LOL.....got it captain!!!!! I know the rules now. 5's all the way down the line unless there is a serious problem.
Comment from stanishmichelle
What a witty ending. The story was nicely written with clever flowing dialogue and good details to enhance the plot. I liked it and wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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What a witty ending. The story was nicely written with clever flowing dialogue and good details to enhance the plot. I liked it and wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Michele, for the excellent review.
Comment from royowen
What an interesting entry in this two women in a deserted bar contest! I like this well written descriptively clever narrative in this short write, I was captured by the story to its surprise end! Well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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What an interesting entry in this two women in a deserted bar contest! I like this well written descriptively clever narrative in this short write, I was captured by the story to its surprise end! Well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Roy, for the excellent review.
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You're welcome Bill. Roy.
Comment from Judy Couch
This story is amuzing and well written. One thing you said that I really like is: "like a sunflower, rising above the weeds, lures the bee." It's a really cute expression.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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This story is amuzing and well written. One thing you said that I really like is: "like a sunflower, rising above the weeds, lures the bee." It's a really cute expression.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Judy, for the excellent review.
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of Kitty and Meow Meow at the Bar. This is a strange story. I guess it is intended to be humorous. The presentation is most attractive. Good luck in the contest. Carole
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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To the author of Kitty and Meow Meow at the Bar. This is a strange story. I guess it is intended to be humorous. The presentation is most attractive. Good luck in the contest. Carole
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Carole, for the excellent review.
Comment from Eric1
A wonderful story for this particular contest, if I may borrow one of your lines, 'The make-up and wording are flawless, and you have captivating dialogue', the ending is inspirational!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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A wonderful story for this particular contest, if I may borrow one of your lines, 'The make-up and wording are flawless, and you have captivating dialogue', the ending is inspirational!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Eric, for the great review.
