Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Oh my, this is absolutely chilling! What a great pantoum/sonnet - I enjoyed it very much - it creates a fearful 'ambiance' of mystery and dread! Your flow is smooth and the rhyme super. Best of luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you so much for the well wishes. The contest is over and there were some great entries. I was honored to receive a few votes.
I am happy you liked the "ambiance of mystery and dread" I'll take that as a great compliment. I appreciate the kind review. Debi

reply by Dawn Munro on 25-Jun-2014

It was very much my pleasure, Debi!

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This is a fun pantoum sonnet that deals with those playful fairies. The storyline is complete throughout and the idea of repeating lines becomes invisible.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thank you for the wonderful review, Bill. I am happy to hear you enjoyed this verse. I am flattered that you felt the repeating lines became invisible. Thank you, Debi

Comment from acerisestory

Excellent

Wow! Hang on to your kids out there. I very much like the flow of your poem. Your rhyming, meter and enjambment are well done. I like the alliteration: changeling/child. Best of luck in the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you for the encouraging review and well wishes, Alana. I appreciate it. Watch out for the fairies. Debi

Comment from prefabmouse

Excellent

Very intriguing as well as intelligent and well read. It has an err of mystery and horror as well as the macabre. I really enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

I am happy you enjoyed this slightly haunting verse. Thank you for the encouraging comments. Debi

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest

your repeat lines fall in place and flow well

your rhyme falls in line with the sonnet format

good enjambment through verses

good visual to portray your well chosen words

cheers..Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you, Smoothiecool. I appreciate the encouraging review and the details of your analysis. Thank you. Debi

reply by Smoothiecool on 22-Jun-2014

most welcome..SC

Comment from Bobby Jo

Excellent

Scary thought for anyone with children. This is haunting. I like the picture that goes along very well with the story plat. Good work.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you for the kind comments, Bobby Jo. I am happy you liked it. Watch out for fairies. Debi

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

This is very interesting and well written. Excellent form and language has been used to build up the eerie warning that:
Beware tonight of fairy light's mystique.
A changeling child is what the fairies seek.

I think you've managed to use the reel effectively to add detail and emotion to the basic message. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you for the good luck wishes and the encouraging comments. I am happy you liked this eerie verse. Watch out for fairies. Debi

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Oh dear. I wouldn't read this to any child at bedtime. Scary! A condensed horror story here. In today's world, this is a good message to pass on!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you for the fun review. Yes, watch out for those fairies. Debi

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

Good use of the sonnet rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with tight/night. Good alliteration with changeling/child...precious/prize. Good eye catching photo followed by a clear message.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Thank you for the detailed analysis. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

This is delightful wj! I kept having flashes of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in my head as I was reading, though I know it has nothing to do with stealing little ones, but the 'fairy' atmosphere you create is quite lovely here. Good luck in this - I love the pantoum form, don't you?
:)Sharyn

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Hi Sharyn,

You are more right than you think. In "A Midsummer Night's Dream" Titania and Oberon, the fairy queen and king, are fighting over the possession of a human boy--he is most likely a changeling or going to be one. He is the child of one of Titania's handmaids. In some stories the fairies will also take a human mother. It could be quite the backstory to this tale...

Thank you for the wonderful review and good luck wishes. I am happy you enjoyed reading this poem and the fairy atmosphere.

Pantoums are a bit challenging, and maybe that is why I like them.

Thank you for stopping by and watch out for fairies.
Debi

reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014

Okay, I actually did a little more research. I was close--the fairies are fighting over a changeling and that is what starts the action. Only, Oberon wants Tatiania to give him her changeling as a servant (so the changeling child is not a baby, but has grown) and she refuses. That's when Oberon decides to get even with Titiania and all the fairy fun begins.