Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Beautiful free verse dear Mikey, even if I'm uncertain precisely what it is you are saying, the mood, the tone, the voicing are strong and sensual enough to carry an entirely delightful piece.

I have my honor
my precious pride
my dubious dignity
you have ... the girl ...

One point:
carelessly tossed anvils weighs (weigh) me...

Very nicely written.

Gloria

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2015

Thanks for going into the vault for this. It isn't precise really, just a general feeling of down and facing the world I suppose. I chose losing a girl as a focal point, but it could be anything. Good catch on the SPaG. I've read this a hundred times without noticing. :))
Thank you so much lovely woman. mikey

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

What a spectacular ending! All this angst over the loss of a girl. (unfortunately, true). Splendid use of alliteration. Favorite lines:
isn't the wicked/sneer of victory/ a haughty prancing preference/
to this snail's arabesque?

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014

Thank you so much! It has been a while since I wrote in my native tongue (free verse). Hahaha. Looks like "they" were correct. All the learning of other forms helps. So pleased that you enjoyed this. Big smiles!! mikey

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

Good to know this isn't autobiographical. I always enjoy your poetry, especially the free verse style.

The parts I enjoyed the most:

spindled and sprawled
carelessly tossed anvils, (is there such a thing?? :D
Loved the surprise ending. Super job, Mikey.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

Comment from pattipac

Excellent

Somehow the balancing-scale never quiet balances out when one tries to balance ones dignity, pride, and honor opposite winning the hand of one's lover.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

Comment from nordicgirl

Excellent

A beautiful depiction of coming up on the wrong side of the love game. Sometimes all you have is your integrity. And no it sure doesn't seem to be worth much at the time. I always forget what a great free verse poet you are. Of course, you ARE the Bard! NG

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

Your last line was the clincher. Reminded me of how all the western movies always ended. With the main character riding off into the sunset with the girl. Well done poet.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2014

Comment from Karen B.

Excellent

Ouch! That ending just kinda sneaks up and knocks the air out. I was picturing a defeated athlete or maybe a sore loser of a politician. Wonderfully written and the layour and picture are stunning. Glad to know it's not biographical, lol.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

Yes. Me too! So far poor and amusing seems to have worked for me. Hahaha. Glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for a wonderful review, mikey

Comment from Dawn Munro

Exceptional

Mikey, this is wonderful! Your free verse is simply a joy to read, even when it's a sad tale (as this one is). Your line breaks are always spot-on, your vocabulary rich, and the images that you evoke vivid. I enjoyed it immensely.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

I'm so delighted you enjoyed this. I haven't written in my "native tongue" in a while! So this was fun for me. Trying the more formal things has had a helpful effect on my free verse I think. What a great review. Thank you so much and for all the stars too!! mikey :))

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Sorry. I'm just a better date. Just don't tell my wife. Seriously though, Mr. Free Verse flier, great format and line breaks. I would mention alliteration, but I am sure someone already did lol. " a haughty prancing preference to this snail's arabesque. We have all been there where nothing matters but the girl.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

I'm always like that. But, for some reason, poor and amusing appeals to them... thank God! mikey

reply by ravenblack on 16-Jun-2014

I'll race you to the poor house babbling one-liners the whole way.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

This was very clever. I thought of athletes competing. Then I get to the end and see that it was a girl they were competing over and the narrator lost. Some victories are not worth the outcome. Great job.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2014

That's a great line. Some victories are not worth the outcome. I may have that tattooed on my arm to remember it!!! Thank you kindly, mikey