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Viewing comments for Chapter 84 "Purple Pain"Personal poems
18 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent free verse. If pain has any color, it is purple like a bruise, the initial throb red, but the slow burn a purple throb. I hope your wife's back is doing okay. Pain is , well, a pain. My wife suffers from chronic migraines.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Excellent free verse. If pain has any color, it is purple like a bruise, the initial throb red, but the slow burn a purple throb. I hope your wife's back is doing okay. Pain is , well, a pain. My wife suffers from chronic migraines.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thank you ravenblack. My sister gets migraines every month.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Trieschel,
Pain is a exceptional free style poem with a superior amount of figurative language and imagery ; alliteration, rhyme, metaphor, simle, consonance.etc It has a good and visually pleasing structure.
Preston
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Hi, Trieschel,
Pain is a exceptional free style poem with a superior amount of figurative language and imagery ; alliteration, rhyme, metaphor, simle, consonance.etc It has a good and visually pleasing structure.
Preston
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much Preston in capturing all the poetic structures that i introduced. Not everyone would get that.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Pain
Wraps a body
In tight cocoons
Of burning tendrils
Like the Python
Cruelly crushes
Captured prey ---great assonance of "C" here. Excellent alliteration as well.
Imprisoning a soul
In silent slavery
Stealing life's
Enjoyment
Away
A Scorpion's sting
An insidious thing --wonderful alliteration of "S", 'T'.
Who changes perception
Into his reality
With a snap
Of fated fingers -- good alliteration here as well with "fated fingers"...
An outstanding free-style verse, Mr. 'T'. You've certainly captured the very essence of PAIN in this!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Pain
Wraps a body
In tight cocoons
Of burning tendrils
Like the Python
Cruelly crushes
Captured prey ---great assonance of "C" here. Excellent alliteration as well.
Imprisoning a soul
In silent slavery
Stealing life's
Enjoyment
Away
A Scorpion's sting
An insidious thing --wonderful alliteration of "S", 'T'.
Who changes perception
Into his reality
With a snap
Of fated fingers -- good alliteration here as well with "fated fingers"...
An outstanding free-style verse, Mr. 'T'. You've certainly captured the very essence of PAIN in this!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much Dean, a very astute asessment.
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My pleasure. It was a joy to read.
Comment from rod007
This poem powerfully captures the pain your poor wife feels. I liked these lines the most:
"Colors the world
In darkest reds
Deeper than blood
In sluggish veins"
Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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This poem powerfully captures the pain your poor wife feels. I liked these lines the most:
"Colors the world
In darkest reds
Deeper than blood
In sluggish veins"
Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you rod.
Comment from 9999pool
This is such great tribute to your wife. When I read it, i knew it had to be the back pain your wife undergoes daily and my prayers are with her too.
I was going to post the "SkinDeep" New format by 'amada' and your poem here does qualify to be a "SkinDeep" poem. It starts with a statement and then the next lines give depth and meaning. Each line between 2-4 syllable count and yours had a maximum of 4 syllables. Hence the name Skin for skinny (lean and short lines). The depth of the pain can be felt in each stanza.
I know it is terrible to in such pain and if prayers can help, that will be so kind of God.
Excellent write. Well pen! Bravo!!
Cheerio, hugs and prayers to your wife to drive away the pain.
Ritchie.
Have a wonderful and fantastic time over the weekend.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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This is such great tribute to your wife. When I read it, i knew it had to be the back pain your wife undergoes daily and my prayers are with her too.
I was going to post the "SkinDeep" New format by 'amada' and your poem here does qualify to be a "SkinDeep" poem. It starts with a statement and then the next lines give depth and meaning. Each line between 2-4 syllable count and yours had a maximum of 4 syllables. Hence the name Skin for skinny (lean and short lines). The depth of the pain can be felt in each stanza.
I know it is terrible to in such pain and if prayers can help, that will be so kind of God.
Excellent write. Well pen! Bravo!!
Cheerio, hugs and prayers to your wife to drive away the pain.
Ritchie.
Have a wonderful and fantastic time over the weekend.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you Ritchie for a wonderful review and sincere wishes, my friend. Also for the galaxy of stars.
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Shinny poems are not easy to write and you did brilliantly with this one because the 'pain' is both 'physical and mental' for the sufferer and the caretaker. You captured its essence in both exceedingly well.
I felt a pang of sadness and unfairness as i read it, hence the galaxy of stars. Smiles.
Take care and give my regards and prayer, hugs to Kathy.
Have a meaningful and thoughtful weekend filled with good memories.
Ritchie.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Tom - I'm reading this at the right time. My pain is sky high and on top of that I am trying to wade through a really bad migraine. This holds wisdom, and compassion for those suffering (your wife) Often it is really hard to grasp such deep pain when not feeling it yourself. You managed it powerfully.
Really great job on this one.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Dear Tom - I'm reading this at the right time. My pain is sky high and on top of that I am trying to wade through a really bad migraine. This holds wisdom, and compassion for those suffering (your wife) Often it is really hard to grasp such deep pain when not feeling it yourself. You managed it powerfully.
Really great job on this one.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you Maureen. Actually I must admit that you are the one who inspired it as i read your poem, A Terrible Yearning. It made me say to myself "i wish I could write free verse so well, that carries you so deep into the emotion". So I wrote this one.
Thanks for that.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A very descriptive and true account of the many properties of chronic pain.
Your free verse captures the insidious and far reaching effects of chronic pain.
As a sufferer of fibromyalgia I can relate to so many of the points you make.
One of the hardest to deal with is the ability of pain to possess you and mould who you are, or will become.
There are many facets of pain and you relate them so well.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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A very descriptive and true account of the many properties of chronic pain.
Your free verse captures the insidious and far reaching effects of chronic pain.
As a sufferer of fibromyalgia I can relate to so many of the points you make.
One of the hardest to deal with is the ability of pain to possess you and mould who you are, or will become.
There are many facets of pain and you relate them so well.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you Shirley, yes, I see you can definitely can relate.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Love these bits:
cocoons/Cruelly crushes/Captured
Imprisoning a soul
In silent slavery the alliterative 's'
A Scorpion's sting
An insidious thing
PAIN Occupies your time
Like a magician
Can hypnotize
Of fated fingers the alliteration
LOve these lines:
Confounding senses
Controlling pretenses
Oh Purple Pain!
What will it take
For you
To go
Away?
Piece written in a downward spiral replete with examples of how PAIN effects the mind and body. It is estimated that 25% of seniors live in pain. The 'pain pill' business is a multi-billion dollar enterprise in the US let alone the world. People ate becoming addicted to those little 'purple pain' OXY pills, including their children. It's an epidemic. Good read but disturbing as was intended.
Regards:
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Love these bits:
cocoons/Cruelly crushes/Captured
Imprisoning a soul
In silent slavery the alliterative 's'
A Scorpion's sting
An insidious thing
PAIN Occupies your time
Like a magician
Can hypnotize
Of fated fingers the alliteration
LOve these lines:
Confounding senses
Controlling pretenses
Oh Purple Pain!
What will it take
For you
To go
Away?
Piece written in a downward spiral replete with examples of how PAIN effects the mind and body. It is estimated that 25% of seniors live in pain. The 'pain pill' business is a multi-billion dollar enterprise in the US let alone the world. People ate becoming addicted to those little 'purple pain' OXY pills, including their children. It's an epidemic. Good read but disturbing as was intended.
Regards:
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you Stephen. I got her off Oxy, but she was on them. Not on a Tens electrical pulse unit and infra red light. Gives temporary relief.
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Dear Tom: What an epidemic. Will ruin America if something, anything is not done about it. Just posted 'Prisoner of the Wind'. Thanks.
With Respect: Steve
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Awe, good idea. Purple rain, purple pain. Like that tittle. Like that metaphor in the first quatrain, the python. I like this fast start, some live action. Nice follow up second quatrain. Awe, I especially love that third quatrain. Sting, insidious, that goes together like horse & saddle. That next on eain't bad either. This whole poem gets me attention. You did great concerning the topic of pain. No pain no gain. Forgive me, mate,me Booty chest is out of starfish. This deserves a six, I swear it from me blistered lips, beechnut drools, I spit it. Exceptional wackydo
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Awe, good idea. Purple rain, purple pain. Like that tittle. Like that metaphor in the first quatrain, the python. I like this fast start, some live action. Nice follow up second quatrain. Awe, I especially love that third quatrain. Sting, insidious, that goes together like horse & saddle. That next on eain't bad either. This whole poem gets me attention. You did great concerning the topic of pain. No pain no gain. Forgive me, mate,me Booty chest is out of starfish. This deserves a six, I swear it from me blistered lips, beechnut drools, I spit it. Exceptional wackydo
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you Wackydo. Your astounding review is shining enough for me.
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Aye, mate. You the one who created it. Me job is easy.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It really is awful, the pain in your back, I have it too. Pain drags you down, I can sympathise with your wife. Your poem tells it well. You found a really good illustration for your poem. :) xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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It really is awful, the pain in your back, I have it too. Pain drags you down, I can sympathise with your wife. Your poem tells it well. You found a really good illustration for your poem. :) xsx Sandra
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
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Thank you Sandra. I feel for you both.
