Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "Wazuzu Moon"Murder Mystery
36 total reviews
Comment from Hareem.S
This is a very interesting chapter and makes me want to go to the start of the book. It is penned down in a vivid manner and the dialogues are very good.
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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This is a very interesting chapter and makes me want to go to the start of the book. It is penned down in a vivid manner and the dialogues are very good.
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Thanks so much, Hareem. I really appreciate your generous and encouraging review. :) Bev
Comment from jjstar
OMG! That was gripping, chilling and downright spooky! Superb write, Bev. I almost feel like I haven't missed too much of the story...hahaha..I'm so sorry life got in the way again and pulled me away. As always, your characters are vivid..I feel as if I'm sitting in the precinct watching the scene unfold. Father Northrup just incredibly well written. Excellent!
gruesome piece of good luck===great way to put it!
letting the rich taste of cacao and eucalyptus soothe his anxiety===mmm.....sounds scrumptious!
He wore his uniform like a priest wears a cross. The clothing was an outward sign of his calling and commitment to the American Criminal Justice system.===OH YES!Something about a man in uniform!
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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OMG! That was gripping, chilling and downright spooky! Superb write, Bev. I almost feel like I haven't missed too much of the story...hahaha..I'm so sorry life got in the way again and pulled me away. As always, your characters are vivid..I feel as if I'm sitting in the precinct watching the scene unfold. Father Northrup just incredibly well written. Excellent!
gruesome piece of good luck===great way to put it!
letting the rich taste of cacao and eucalyptus soothe his anxiety===mmm.....sounds scrumptious!
He wore his uniform like a priest wears a cross. The clothing was an outward sign of his calling and commitment to the American Criminal Justice system.===OH YES!Something about a man in uniform!
Comment Written 22-May-2014
reply by the author on 22-May-2014
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Hi, JJ. Thanks for this awesome review. I'm so excited at the thought we'll be seeing more of you on the site. I know what you mean about life. I've got a lot of coals in the fire myself. Can you believe how long this novel has taken to finish?!! But, I've learned a lot about writing and posting every few weeks, well time has just flown by.
Coming down to the last few. So, I'm glad you may be around for the final curtain.
Thanks again, my friend. Means a lot to me.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from cooljules
The dialogue flowed easily and naturally. I enjoyed the dramatic touch of the conversation between the priest and the sheriff when the priest freaked out and grabbed the sheriff's arm. The only thing I found wrong was a typo in the flashback to the last chapter: "Maggie placed on arm on the back" - "on" should be "an." That's all I could find, so excellent chapter!
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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The dialogue flowed easily and naturally. I enjoyed the dramatic touch of the conversation between the priest and the sheriff when the priest freaked out and grabbed the sheriff's arm. The only thing I found wrong was a typo in the flashback to the last chapter: "Maggie placed on arm on the back" - "on" should be "an." That's all I could find, so excellent chapter!
Comment Written 21-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Hi, Cooljules. Thank you for catching that spag. I appreciate your sharp eye and very encouraging review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Aussie
Are you sure that you are not related to James Patterson?! Great crime writers you two. Have you read his series Women's murder club? Your imagination and scene setting is to be believed, as is your descriptions and grabbing the reader for a good shaking. I think I like your scene-setting the best, could smell the nutmeg. Jumping from the mundane to the supernatural is a great ingredient for keeping the reader reading. I had a experience on night duty - had to change-up patients and the room was freezing (no aircon on) turns out the room belonged to a young man that drowned. Generally speaking, ice-cold says "get lost." Loved your story and look for more. Never give the dark side a cheer - there are many there that will suck the life out of you. They have no life - live on the lower astral plane and god has turned His face from them. Blessings, K XX
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Are you sure that you are not related to James Patterson?! Great crime writers you two. Have you read his series Women's murder club? Your imagination and scene setting is to be believed, as is your descriptions and grabbing the reader for a good shaking. I think I like your scene-setting the best, could smell the nutmeg. Jumping from the mundane to the supernatural is a great ingredient for keeping the reader reading. I had a experience on night duty - had to change-up patients and the room was freezing (no aircon on) turns out the room belonged to a young man that drowned. Generally speaking, ice-cold says "get lost." Loved your story and look for more. Never give the dark side a cheer - there are many there that will suck the life out of you. They have no life - live on the lower astral plane and god has turned His face from them. Blessings, K XX
Comment Written 21-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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I know a few nurses, besides yourself, and they have stories to tell. Especially the ones who work in nursing homes. Thanks for telling me of your experience. And thanks, too, for your really generous and encouraging review.
I love your advice to 'never give the dark side a cheer'. There's a great Christian song by Casting Crowns called Slow Burn. That's what I think happens when we start to let the little stuff go. So good hearing from you! Hugs, Bev
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It was a privilege to work with the dying - always a dark side when they didn't want to go, scared or just plain ornery! I have seen some scary things and always...fear, the best way out is through. XX big hug.
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Bless you for your compassion, Kay. I'll bet you were a terrific nurse. And you helped those souls just by holding that space with them. XXXOO Bev
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I have (with humility) stood between life and death, watched death take the person and the peace that covers the face of the deceased. XX especially my mother.
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I have (with humility) stood between life and death, watched death take the person and the peace that covers the face of the deceased. XX especially my mother.
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I volunteered at the Hospice House we have in our small town. I've never been so moved and inspired by any other experience. People are afraid to be around the dying, but they have so very much to teach us. xxx Bev
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:-) death is but a transition to life. XX
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Indeed! xx
Comment from JB Lynn
Derek shifted his feet beneath his chair and moved closer to his desk. "Define unnatural."
"A disappearing pool of blood."
"She'd just undergone surgery, Ron. Maybe her wound was traumatized."
"Exactly what I said."
"And?"
-It's this kind of short and sharp dialogue that always brings your chapters to life for me. I really enjoy the way you weave these moments in flawlessly. I feel like I'm getting to "listen in" on real people talking with each other.
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Derek shifted his feet beneath his chair and moved closer to his desk. "Define unnatural."
"A disappearing pool of blood."
"She'd just undergone surgery, Ron. Maybe her wound was traumatized."
"Exactly what I said."
"And?"
-It's this kind of short and sharp dialogue that always brings your chapters to life for me. I really enjoy the way you weave these moments in flawlessly. I feel like I'm getting to "listen in" on real people talking with each other.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Thank you so much, JB. I'm really honored by your kind and generous review. I sweat a lot over the dialogue, so your comments in that direction are most encouraging. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
I'm always glad, Bev, when you include what happened previously. It helps me to recall everything, and I like that you review who the characters are in your author's notes. It sounds to me like this is beginning to wind up, and I've always wondered if there was something more to Father Brian than meets the eye. Of course, you are the only one to know that! Your use of dialogue and description continue to move the story along beautifully.
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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I'm always glad, Bev, when you include what happened previously. It helps me to recall everything, and I like that you review who the characters are in your author's notes. It sounds to me like this is beginning to wind up, and I've always wondered if there was something more to Father Brian than meets the eye. Of course, you are the only one to know that! Your use of dialogue and description continue to move the story along beautifully.
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Connie, thank you so much for this exceptional review. I am humbled and honored by your generosity.
I can't adequately express how much your continued support means to me as I begin to bring the series to a close. I've a few loose ends to pull together and then a conclusion I hope will please those who have followed my novel so faithfully.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
thsi is very well written, writingfundimension, i wasn't able to keep focused on it like your other chapters, but that might be my fault. i noticed toward the end you called him peace instead of pearce.
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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thsi is very well written, writingfundimension, i wasn't able to keep focused on it like your other chapters, but that might be my fault. i noticed toward the end you called him peace instead of pearce.
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 21-May-2014
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Thank you so very much, sweet. I've corrected that spag, and thank you for the sharp eye! :) Bev
Comment from kath402
WOW- that was awesome. First I have read your work and I really got lost in it! You have wonderful talent. I am still getting some short work together before I try anything long. This reads so polished it seems like you have been doing this for a while. I was very impressed!
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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WOW- that was awesome. First I have read your work and I really got lost in it! You have wonderful talent. I am still getting some short work together before I try anything long. This reads so polished it seems like you have been doing this for a while. I was very impressed!
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Hi, Kath. Thank you so much for this really wonderful review! I appreciate your encouragement and generosity. I'm going to check out your portfolio. I've found writing short stories to be challenging, but rewarding.
Have a good week!
Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
Long, but SO well worth the read, my dear Bev!
Wow! Another unexpected cliff hanger.
And you continue to skillfully build up and maintain the fascinating momentum.
Can't wait to find out why the reverend's eternal soul is in danger!
Hugs and lots of love, my dear. Awesome job! :)
xxx
Sonali :)
And finding the body of his mother, Gertrude, was a gruesome .. how about ... the body of THE mother ..?
edge of his teeth, Derek mulled his options. He .. mulled (over) his options..?
had a box of sweets on her desk(,) courtesy of her
out a breath he didn't realize he (had been) holding.
down to touch the (valise) at his feet. It
stomach rumbled a plea to end his imposed fast.... self-imposed ..?
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Long, but SO well worth the read, my dear Bev!
Wow! Another unexpected cliff hanger.
And you continue to skillfully build up and maintain the fascinating momentum.
Can't wait to find out why the reverend's eternal soul is in danger!
Hugs and lots of love, my dear. Awesome job! :)
xxx
Sonali :)
And finding the body of his mother, Gertrude, was a gruesome .. how about ... the body of THE mother ..?
edge of his teeth, Derek mulled his options. He .. mulled (over) his options..?
had a box of sweets on her desk(,) courtesy of her
out a breath he didn't realize he (had been) holding.
down to touch the (valise) at his feet. It
stomach rumbled a plea to end his imposed fast.... self-imposed ..?
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Hi, Sonali. Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I so appreciate your encouragement and help with the editing. Father Brian's will be put to the test, for sure. Big Hug, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Bev, another intense chapter to this book. I like the tension you build up. I can see Olsen. You have developed him well and I love the grumpy man. He is a stalwart leader. I'm keen for them to get going now and for them to find father Bryan. He did go off without telling anyone where he was off to, not so. Great intrigue as always. I enjoyed. luv jada
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Hi Bev, another intense chapter to this book. I like the tension you build up. I can see Olsen. You have developed him well and I love the grumpy man. He is a stalwart leader. I'm keen for them to get going now and for them to find father Bryan. He did go off without telling anyone where he was off to, not so. Great intrigue as always. I enjoyed. luv jada
Comment Written 20-May-2014
reply by the author on 20-May-2014
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Thanks, Jada. I really appreciate the grand review. We'll be catching up with both Brian and the killer very soon. Brian was last seen in a patrol car with Jana heading for a reservation showdown with Diablo! Hugs, Bev
