Short Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Forest"A Collection Of Short Form Poetry
24 total reviews
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, who cares if it is interpreted by someone else's rigid rules. The strong visual and emotive words give strength to each syllable and line. The font change is optional for me. I paid more attention to the words. Well done. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, who cares if it is interpreted by someone else's rigid rules. The strong visual and emotive words give strength to each syllable and line. The font change is optional for me. I paid more attention to the words. Well done. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 16-May-2014
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, don't get me started on cutting down and polluting our forest...no one is listening....when they are gone and you can't see the hood ornament on your car through the pollution in the air ...they will wish they had...they clean...filter our air...they keep the temps down with their breezes...cool the air...a great poem you...so few words to say so much...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
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HI Michael, don't get me started on cutting down and polluting our forest...no one is listening....when they are gone and you can't see the hood ornament on your car through the pollution in the air ...they will wish they had...they clean...filter our air...they keep the temps down with their breezes...cool the air...a great poem you...so few words to say so much...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
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Thank you. I don't know what in the world it takes to wake people up. It is already a heat wave here. I know everyone had a rough winter, but we had none whatsoever. It barely cooled off. Firewood purchased in October is still sitting there unused. Maybe this next winter...
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daughter just told me it snowed in Illinois today...latest I have ever seen it...sooooooooooooo welcome Columbo....luff
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
They won't learn until it has all gone and there is no turning back. Humans are the most destructive creatures that live on this planet. Well written poem, and needed to be said. Sandra
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
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They won't learn until it has all gone and there is no turning back. Humans are the most destructive creatures that live on this planet. Well written poem, and needed to be said. Sandra
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
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Hi. Glad you liked it. We are in complete agreement. I'm totally buried, but I wanted to say hi and let you know I read every word and appreciate the input so much. Thank you! mikey
Comment from Sankey
Good work this was not where I was going but never mind. Interesting picture had to read the poem to work out thewy were logs not rocks haha!
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
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Good work this was not where I was going but never mind. Interesting picture had to read the poem to work out thewy were logs not rocks haha!
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
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Yes. A couple people said that. It's the petrified forest here in the US. They are actually rocks. Minerals replaced the organic parts of the tree so it still looks like a tree.
Comment from casini
A perfect picture matching your message. Yes, we human beings are ungrateful and destroying our home Earth and its beauty. Really a sad scene, God only knows when this will end, might be with the end of mankind. Thanks for sharing.
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A perfect picture matching your message. Yes, we human beings are ungrateful and destroying our home Earth and its beauty. Really a sad scene, God only knows when this will end, might be with the end of mankind. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-May-2014
Comment from seaglass
And without the rainforests there will be much less oxygen. I can't believe how some of our so called leaders can insist the Science about this is not real. We have to put the message out there in every way we can.
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And without the rainforests there will be much less oxygen. I can't believe how some of our so called leaders can insist the Science about this is not real. We have to put the message out there in every way we can.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from lancellot
Very well said. Excellent. You know I not a green guy but what we are doing, chopping down and burning our forest is just stupid. That is proven science, we need them to create oxygen, destroying them is suicide.
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Very well said. Excellent. You know I not a green guy but what we are doing, chopping down and burning our forest is just stupid. That is proven science, we need them to create oxygen, destroying them is suicide.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Well, you know I won't fault you for being experimental. Much of the rainforest is becoming a mirage, true deserts in the wake of slash and burn farming. And really, we are asking our forests to be a brief wink of green in the maelstrom. I'm having a little trouble making the transition from the living trees in the first two lines to rotting wood but I think I am not reading it right, that you are not making a complete transformation, but that maybe it is a thinned grove of trees with the illusion on forest, desert behind the screen of trees.
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Well, you know I won't fault you for being experimental. Much of the rainforest is becoming a mirage, true deserts in the wake of slash and burn farming. And really, we are asking our forests to be a brief wink of green in the maelstrom. I'm having a little trouble making the transition from the living trees in the first two lines to rotting wood but I think I am not reading it right, that you are not making a complete transformation, but that maybe it is a thinned grove of trees with the illusion on forest, desert behind the screen of trees.
Comment Written 14-May-2014
Comment from SLHarper
I am not an authority on the tanka form, other than knowing how many syllables are supposed to be in each line -- you've got that covered! Your message is well-presented, with very nice use of alliteration and imagery throughout. I especially love the harrowing last line which gives the sense of a desert wasteland resulting from our abuse of the environment, over which we will be able to see a "mirage" (because of the desert creating an illusion, and because we will be ever seeking what we so desperately need and will no longer be there... as if we were dying of thirst in a desert) -- also, I wonder if the "shade" you refer to is an element of denial? If we trick our eyes into believing that the oasis is just up ahead, then we don't have to be too overly concerned with where we are? Just a thought.
Good luck in the contest, Mikey!
Steph
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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I am not an authority on the tanka form, other than knowing how many syllables are supposed to be in each line -- you've got that covered! Your message is well-presented, with very nice use of alliteration and imagery throughout. I especially love the harrowing last line which gives the sense of a desert wasteland resulting from our abuse of the environment, over which we will be able to see a "mirage" (because of the desert creating an illusion, and because we will be ever seeking what we so desperately need and will no longer be there... as if we were dying of thirst in a desert) -- also, I wonder if the "shade" you refer to is an element of denial? If we trick our eyes into believing that the oasis is just up ahead, then we don't have to be too overly concerned with where we are? Just a thought.
Good luck in the contest, Mikey!
Steph
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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I hadn't thought about 'shade' as an element of denial, but I love that and will now claim that I thought that all along!! Hahaha. That is a very true and insightful take that I'm stealing. Thank you! mikey
Comment from MizKat
Hi Michael,
This is a great and touching poem about forests choking for clean air. You did a wonderful job of writing this but I think the second line has one letter to many. Sour is pronounced sou-er.
MizKat
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Hi Michael,
This is a great and touching poem about forests choking for clean air. You did a wonderful job of writing this but I think the second line has one letter to many. Sour is pronounced sou-er.
MizKat
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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I think you are correct. Thanks for pointing it out. We have pretty lazy speech in Southern California!! Everything is one syllable. I'll fix it. Glad you liked the message. Thanks again. mikey
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Most of the sources I checked said one syllable, but I agree it sounds like two to me also. I'll think about changing it anyway. I like the sound of it though. Thanks again. mikye
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I like how you changed it. I'm always leery about pointing out things I notice. Thanks for taking it so well. I really appreciate it when people tell me about my mistakes. So if you ever notice anything about my poetry that needs fixing please let me know.
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Yes! I've seen pieces that were off get 50 reviews without a mention. I want to know right away!! I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't. Thanks again.
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I don't understand why people wouldn't want to be told about their mistakes either.
