Short Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Haiku (Autumn Reverie)"A Collection Of Short Form Poetry
44 total reviews
Comment from ArtGal
What a wonderful haiku, and a big congrats for winning! I can see why, because of your choice in words. Yes, we do remember spring once those leaves start falling to the ground. But now it's spring once again, and how pretty with the flowers starting to bloom. Great picture to go with this, I really enjoyed. . .Sharon
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What a wonderful haiku, and a big congrats for winning! I can see why, because of your choice in words. Yes, we do remember spring once those leaves start falling to the ground. But now it's spring once again, and how pretty with the flowers starting to bloom. Great picture to go with this, I really enjoyed. . .Sharon
Comment Written 09-May-2014
Comment from fairydancer
"leaves float on sighs" - fabulous!
...and "colours drip"
Great imagery and emotion you have included here.
Good haiku form and flow.
Good luck in your contest
Cally :)
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"leaves float on sighs" - fabulous!
...and "colours drip"
Great imagery and emotion you have included here.
Good haiku form and flow.
Good luck in your contest
Cally :)
Comment Written 09-May-2014
Comment from Eternal Muse
I admired this haiku when I first read. Congratulations on your very deserved win. Simply beautiful, with awesome word choice and award-winning visuals. "Reverie" is one of my favorite words, and I was born in autumn, so this poem is a double winner for me! (smile). Last line is so sad - yes, we do remember spring when leaves start to fall.
Great work.
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I admired this haiku when I first read. Congratulations on your very deserved win. Simply beautiful, with awesome word choice and award-winning visuals. "Reverie" is one of my favorite words, and I was born in autumn, so this poem is a double winner for me! (smile). Last line is so sad - yes, we do remember spring when leaves start to fall.
Great work.
Comment Written 09-May-2014
Comment from Norbanus
how very thoughtful
show the spring but skip the snow
when the birds are back
When the haiku speaks
the agile mind does a flip
to hear the birds sing
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how very thoughtful
show the spring but skip the snow
when the birds are back
When the haiku speaks
the agile mind does a flip
to hear the birds sing
Comment Written 09-May-2014
Comment from JonnyRhymes
Strong personification and a well-written haiku. An enjoyable read in which you capture the essence of autumn. Lovely work!
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Strong personification and a well-written haiku. An enjoyable read in which you capture the essence of autumn. Lovely work!
Comment Written 09-May-2014
Comment from Zue65
Wow, congratulations my friend for winning the contest. You deserved it. I missed visiting this site, busy again with classes. This is a perfect 5-7-5 about autumn. The choice of the words lend more meaning to the reverie where leaves and colors glide to welcome spring. Thanks for sharing and God bless.
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Wow, congratulations my friend for winning the contest. You deserved it. I missed visiting this site, busy again with classes. This is a perfect 5-7-5 about autumn. The choice of the words lend more meaning to the reverie where leaves and colors glide to welcome spring. Thanks for sharing and God bless.
Comment Written 09-May-2014
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mikey
Congratulations on this well deserved win. A stunning Ode for sure and a stunning season for its somnolent colours, beautiful as in your glorious selection of artwork. Haiku are generally titled in lower case, except for Autumn in this instance. Capitalisation of the season in your first line is correct as you are honouring the season in its formal form. Personification is not generally used in haiku but can be used in senryu. I don't mark down for this as I've broken this rule myself and I'm sure Basho would have no problems with your haiku. lol.
Your first two lines create a delightful image and your satori captures that all essential 'aha' moment. "Reverie,drop,floats, sighs, remembering" - all great word use. Great alliteration in "sigh/spring" .... clever to allude to another season in your Ode to Autumn.
A great entry and so pleased you had a win. Huge hugs - Lovi xoxox
reply by the author on 09-May-2014
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Hi Mikey
Congratulations on this well deserved win. A stunning Ode for sure and a stunning season for its somnolent colours, beautiful as in your glorious selection of artwork. Haiku are generally titled in lower case, except for Autumn in this instance. Capitalisation of the season in your first line is correct as you are honouring the season in its formal form. Personification is not generally used in haiku but can be used in senryu. I don't mark down for this as I've broken this rule myself and I'm sure Basho would have no problems with your haiku. lol.
Your first two lines create a delightful image and your satori captures that all essential 'aha' moment. "Reverie,drop,floats, sighs, remembering" - all great word use. Great alliteration in "sigh/spring" .... clever to allude to another season in your Ode to Autumn.
A great entry and so pleased you had a win. Huge hugs - Lovi xoxox
Comment Written 09-May-2014
reply by the author on 09-May-2014
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I am so pleased you liked this. I was hoping you would. It wasn't until I read yours and your great notes that I started to get a clue about these. I did look up about capitalizing Autumn and found what you describe. When I was in school it was the thing to do! Hahaha. I don't know if I can write one without personification. The seasons seem so alive. I love the personification of winter contest. I just did one of those recently. I was surprised to win. But, then all the heavyweights weren't entered!! Still pleased though. mikey
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This is lovely Mikey. THEY say no personification or metaphor ... sometimes it is too irresistible ... and sometimes rues are made to be broken. Hahah. You certainly made Spring and Autumn alive with your words.
I know a certain amount about this form, yet even now wonder if I've written a correct senryu or haiku. I must admit to the odd personification here and there. lol
Your poem resonated in the body which is why you won. Great work. love & hugs - Lovi xoxox
Comment from SLHarper
Holy cow, dude! Congratulations on the win, for one thing, and I'm so sorry this one passed me by! How do you do it? I guess every time a prompt comes up, I should just assume that you've either entered something, or that you've written something you could enter if you wanted to! Lol!
Anyway, this has Mikey Cahill written all over it -- leaves floating on the updraft of our sighs from remembering spring... Lovely. Pure. Unpretentious. But, if you lived up here in Oregon with me, you likely would have written something quite different. The colored, fall leaves would have been floating upon their own elation from the fact they weren't currently being pelted by torrents of rain and hail in May (and just when they are bitty buds venturing out of their little bulb-thingies)...
Well done, Sir Cahill!
Stephie
reply by the author on 09-May-2014
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Holy cow, dude! Congratulations on the win, for one thing, and I'm so sorry this one passed me by! How do you do it? I guess every time a prompt comes up, I should just assume that you've either entered something, or that you've written something you could enter if you wanted to! Lol!
Anyway, this has Mikey Cahill written all over it -- leaves floating on the updraft of our sighs from remembering spring... Lovely. Pure. Unpretentious. But, if you lived up here in Oregon with me, you likely would have written something quite different. The colored, fall leaves would have been floating upon their own elation from the fact they weren't currently being pelted by torrents of rain and hail in May (and just when they are bitty buds venturing out of their little bulb-thingies)...
Well done, Sir Cahill!
Stephie
Comment Written 09-May-2014
reply by the author on 09-May-2014
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Hi! You wouldn't believe how buried I am. Hahaha. This is my break. I don't what in the world has happened the last month. Just momentarily in tune with what people want I guess. I was surprised that I came up with this. I looked at it when I was done and thought, "Hey, that's pretty good. Did I really write that?". I like "bitty buds", that is a smile inducing phrase. Say it several times and it is impossible not to smile. This desert is so miserable that torrents of rain and hail actually sound good. (Well, for a couple days anyway.) Did you read "Understanding Humanity"? It's pretty good I think. A little flash fiction thing. Not too long. Okay, break over. Dozens of reviews and hundreds of responses and must write many things. mikey
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I wrote you a review on "Understanding Humanity!" I even read it to my kids! You should take another minute or two break and read my review, before you go back to the grindstone... Lol!
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Oh yeah. What a great review. You read it to your kids? They should make art projects for it. Did they like it? Where's Wacky gone? Okay, gotta go make something up!
Comment from adewpearl
mikey, congratulations on your contest win
your poem is stunningly presented and in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
I particular like the middle line and its verb choices
beautiful detail and an upbeat mood as I would expect in an ode
Brooke
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mikey, congratulations on your contest win
your poem is stunningly presented and in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
I particular like the middle line and its verb choices
beautiful detail and an upbeat mood as I would expect in an ode
Brooke
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from pattipac
Congrats. Mike on this lovely 5-7-5 poem describing autumn. Your creative word choice paint a colorful picture of colorful leaves floating on heavy sighs derived from memories of spring.
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Congrats. Mike on this lovely 5-7-5 poem describing autumn. Your creative word choice paint a colorful picture of colorful leaves floating on heavy sighs derived from memories of spring.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
