Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

A thoughtful and clever Senryu poem.
If only it could be "just for the birds."
Your formatting is consistent with Senryu requirements
and the image says it all.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014

Thank you Shirley. Isn't that a riot

Comment from rod007

Excellent

Interesting poem in the message it conveys, which I am guessing is your take on rest in peace, their rest in peace being to perch on the tombstone enjoying peace. Interesting and a mind puzzler, well done, Tom.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2014

Thanks rod. Pretty deep, huh?

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
I will have give this four stars as the middle line has eight syllables by my count and the other two lines have 5 each. So even by the new rules it is not senryu. However since the middle line 8th syllable is an ed word I will consider it to have only 7 syllables and will change the rating.
Preston

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2014

Ok Preston, but when it is spoken I don't think you pronounce considered as con-si-der-ed, do you? You pronounce it as 3 syllables. That's how I used it.

reply by Preston McWhorter on 03-Apr-2014

What to do with the final syllable has always been a source of ambiguity to me. You are an authority as far as I am concerned and if you say your interpretation is the correct one I will change my rating.

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2014

Yes, ed words are considered 1 syllable, for example the word worked is 1.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

I don't think I'll ever master the Japanese forms, but I enjoy reading them from the pens of those whose writings I admire.

There is a slightly tongue in cheek irreverence underlying the three little lines - love it!

Sonali

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014

Thank you Sonali. It just sort of came out.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

I really like the irony of your closing line. Who wants to rest in peace? I'm certainly in no hurry. But seeing how comfortable those turkeys are standing on the stone, rest in peace is for the birds.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014

Thank you ravenblack! ;-)

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

this rest in peace stuff Yes, rest = perch
when all things are considered Shakespeare?
is just for the birds As the turkeys illustrate

Quite the statement indeed. Well presented.

Regards:

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014

Thanks Stephen. Hope you got a chuckle.

Comment from camaria

Excellent

The photo of the turkeys at the grave site is a quirky one and your poem compliments it perfectly. Nothing I would change. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2014

Thank you, canaria.