Woe of the Underwood
The cursed contraption won't let me go...65 total reviews
Comment from Cherokee messenger
Wow, what and entry! Great writing and very professionally executed --needs published for sure. I enjoyed the quote at the start. The beginning is absolutely gripping, the middle is fabulous, and the end --surprising. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "ghost writer"!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Wow, what and entry! Great writing and very professionally executed --needs published for sure. I enjoyed the quote at the start. The beginning is absolutely gripping, the middle is fabulous, and the end --surprising. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "ghost writer"!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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What a wonderful compliment, Cherokee messenger, I really appreciate that! Now, where were you while the voting was going on? I could've used your help, lol --
Thanks so much again!
Comment from Axiom Gray
Magnificent! I was captured from the beginning and enthralled all the way to the end. I loved your imagery and voice. The conversational tone of your 1st person point of view was an excellent choice for your subject. Even though the ending was predictable, your caliber of word craft made the ride enjoyable. Thank you for sharing this with us. I look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Magnificent! I was captured from the beginning and enthralled all the way to the end. I loved your imagery and voice. The conversational tone of your 1st person point of view was an excellent choice for your subject. Even though the ending was predictable, your caliber of word craft made the ride enjoyable. Thank you for sharing this with us. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Hey, that's great, Axiom. I really appreciate you checking it out for me. I look forward to reading more of your fine works myself. Have a great one, my friend.
Comment from LoannaLois
This should be a six...because it is worthy of 10! What a relentless chilling fellow ....sitting there mocking and typing away...your sanity. Oh, it is a great story! Great job, Lois
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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This should be a six...because it is worthy of 10! What a relentless chilling fellow ....sitting there mocking and typing away...your sanity. Oh, it is a great story! Great job, Lois
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thanks very much, L.Lois. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this one.
Comment from jadapenn
Deliciously written, Dean Kuch. This piece of prose was sensational. Don't play with spirits - I don't profess to believe in them, but I'm not going to tempt forces. :)
I thoroughly enjoyed the energy, conflict and downright mystery and terror in this short work. Well done. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Deliciously written, Dean Kuch. This piece of prose was sensational. Don't play with spirits - I don't profess to believe in them, but I'm not going to tempt forces. :)
I thoroughly enjoyed the energy, conflict and downright mystery and terror in this short work. Well done. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thanks, jada, for the awesome review and best wishes. It lost in the contest, 9 votes to 6, but it was still a lot of fun to write.
much obliged, my friend.
Comment from buzclick
Nice job. Suspenseful and engaging.
Character was believable.
No grammar problems or typos I found.
Quite sellable to horror and mystery readers.
Funny how you built the plot. Very polished.
Good luck on your contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Nice job. Suspenseful and engaging.
Character was believable.
No grammar problems or typos I found.
Quite sellable to horror and mystery readers.
Funny how you built the plot. Very polished.
Good luck on your contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful compliments and generous review, buzclick. I'm very glad that you enjoyed reading it.
Comment from JB Lynn
"You might know the place, although the name is escaping me at the moment."
-This reminds me of the smallish town I grew up in when everyone was so familiar with the area most of us wouldn't remember street names, we'd just say "You know, over by such and such." This created a sense of nostalgia that I felt was mimicked through some of the more elaborate vocabulary you employed.
"If nothing else, it would make for a fantastic conversation piece." - Nice. We still see the narrator is skeptical.
"...like a rogue woodpecker doing its damnedest to break out one of my windows." - Love the metaphor, and I love it even more that you took it a step further and made it a rogue woodpecker.
Are you sure you want to also describe the serial murderer as "rogue" also? It felt fresh with the woodpecker, but does not shine so bright with the serial murderer (aren't they a bit roguish, anyway?).
"Four words were embedded in ink..." - As someone who did begin writing her first stories on an old typewriter, I appreciated the detail of how you described the way the ink is pressed into the paper. I don't think everyone would necessarily know that, if they hadn't seen one operating. For me, this gem was perfectly placed.
"...although I didn't recall having seen it the day before." - Clever. You've given the reader just enough of a reason to suspect that maybe the "no refunds" sign wasn't, in fact, there the day before.
This was truly a treat to read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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"You might know the place, although the name is escaping me at the moment."
-This reminds me of the smallish town I grew up in when everyone was so familiar with the area most of us wouldn't remember street names, we'd just say "You know, over by such and such." This created a sense of nostalgia that I felt was mimicked through some of the more elaborate vocabulary you employed.
"If nothing else, it would make for a fantastic conversation piece." - Nice. We still see the narrator is skeptical.
"...like a rogue woodpecker doing its damnedest to break out one of my windows." - Love the metaphor, and I love it even more that you took it a step further and made it a rogue woodpecker.
Are you sure you want to also describe the serial murderer as "rogue" also? It felt fresh with the woodpecker, but does not shine so bright with the serial murderer (aren't they a bit roguish, anyway?).
"Four words were embedded in ink..." - As someone who did begin writing her first stories on an old typewriter, I appreciated the detail of how you described the way the ink is pressed into the paper. I don't think everyone would necessarily know that, if they hadn't seen one operating. For me, this gem was perfectly placed.
"...although I didn't recall having seen it the day before." - Clever. You've given the reader just enough of a reason to suspect that maybe the "no refunds" sign wasn't, in fact, there the day before.
This was truly a treat to read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Thanks for such an awesome, indepth and detailed review of this one, JB Lynn, I so much appreciate that. I'll take a look at that "rogue" line, as you suggested.
Again, I'm truly honored by your rating and excellent review.
Comment from BHCameron
Really good writing. I like the way you build the suspense. It has that feeling that I got when reading 'The Shining'. I hope that you weren't inspired by the craft of writing, or maybe we're all doomed. A good read, which I enjoyed very much.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Really good writing. I like the way you build the suspense. It has that feeling that I got when reading 'The Shining'. I hope that you weren't inspired by the craft of writing, or maybe we're all doomed. A good read, which I enjoyed very much.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Thanks, BHCameron. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from taylorwrites84
Absolutely superb writing! This is a chilling, yet simplistic story.
I was drawn right in and I flew quickly to the end.
The characters were simply described but entertaining.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Absolutely superb writing! This is a chilling, yet simplistic story.
I was drawn right in and I flew quickly to the end.
The characters were simply described but entertaining.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much for your awesome review and wonderful comments, Taylor. I appreiciate it.
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You're most welcome!
Comment from kiwijenny
Dean I didn't know you were a ghost writer....
My favorite....er...phrase is clickety-clack-clack...ding....it's the ding that got me...and made me smile....I like this a lot....
I guess you could say it's my ..."type"----
There is a series...the haunted I pad...the haunted pen..
Well done
God bless
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Dean I didn't know you were a ghost writer....
My favorite....er...phrase is clickety-clack-clack...ding....it's the ding that got me...and made me smile....I like this a lot....
I guess you could say it's my ..."type"----
There is a series...the haunted I pad...the haunted pen..
Well done
God bless
Comment Written 27-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Thanks for that witty little quip there, kiwijenny. "Type" -- that was a good one, lol.
I'm very glad you liked this one.
Comment from write hand blue
Hi Dean, this an interesting one. You build up the tension nicely. Then further along the story it develops into hopelessness as Frederick realizes that he cannot escape this malevolent typewriter.
You certainly give new meaning to ghost writer.
That's a nice touch at the end WE-R-1. I like the story and wish you luck in the competition.
This reminds me about a story I was told about a killer motorbike. I spoke to the man who claimed to have sawn it up into pieces after it kept throwing him off. Having killed the previous owner. He said he was not going to let it kill someone again. I must admit he convinced me.
:) mel.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Hi Dean, this an interesting one. You build up the tension nicely. Then further along the story it develops into hopelessness as Frederick realizes that he cannot escape this malevolent typewriter.
You certainly give new meaning to ghost writer.
That's a nice touch at the end WE-R-1. I like the story and wish you luck in the competition.
This reminds me about a story I was told about a killer motorbike. I spoke to the man who claimed to have sawn it up into pieces after it kept throwing him off. Having killed the previous owner. He said he was not going to let it kill someone again. I must admit he convinced me.
:) mel.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2014
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Interesting, Mel, there might be another story in that somewhere. Thanks for sharing that,
I'm glad you liked the story. While it lost out today in the contest voting, I liked it quite a lot myself. I was very happy with the way it turned out.
Thanks again.
