Woe of the Underwood
The cursed contraption won't let me go...65 total reviews
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
I enjoyed this piece of writing it has great imagery and story was amusing and needs no changes. Thanks for sharing with me. Mary.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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I enjoyed this piece of writing it has great imagery and story was amusing and needs no changes. Thanks for sharing with me. Mary.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thank you, Mary. I'm really glad you liked this one. Drop by anytime, my friend...
Comment from DALLAS01
Sorry I am out of sixes. What a great read. I always did think the supernatural wins hands down over the chop em up and bludgeon them horror stories. Maybe because it involves the psyche and requires a more refined imagination.
A couple of things that stood out for were the first person perspective and the way you included the reader by addressing him directly, literally placing him in the story.
The other thing was the fact that the only words the reader ever saw on the page were a few spoken directly to your author: "Hello. Shall we begin?"
"Welcome home, Frederick."
And the kicker WE-R-1.
There can be no mistake. This was neither random or accidental. It was pre-ordained.
He harrumphed heartily, (Nice alliteration, the poet sneaking out.
One question. In your second paragraph, the beginning and ending lines are not bold type. Is that intentional?
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Sorry I am out of sixes. What a great read. I always did think the supernatural wins hands down over the chop em up and bludgeon them horror stories. Maybe because it involves the psyche and requires a more refined imagination.
A couple of things that stood out for were the first person perspective and the way you included the reader by addressing him directly, literally placing him in the story.
The other thing was the fact that the only words the reader ever saw on the page were a few spoken directly to your author: "Hello. Shall we begin?"
"Welcome home, Frederick."
And the kicker WE-R-1.
There can be no mistake. This was neither random or accidental. It was pre-ordained.
He harrumphed heartily, (Nice alliteration, the poet sneaking out.
One question. In your second paragraph, the beginning and ending lines are not bold type. Is that intentional?
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thanks for such a detailed and fabulously encouraging review, DALLAS01. I agree with you wholeheartedly bout slasher vs. horror. I'm not a fan of slasher at all, in fact, I think it's disgustingly exploitative. Torture porn, if you will.
As far as the font, I'll have to go in and have a look at that.
Thanks again, for everything.
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Happy weekend, Dean.
Comment from Spitfire
In writing style and subject matter this reminded me of Poe's The Tell Tale Heart. I couldn't imagine the point of this until I came to the end. Boy, I thought, that applies to me and my PC since I joined FS. LOL. I sure wish I had a six left to give you, but if it's not too late, I can still vote.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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In writing style and subject matter this reminded me of Poe's The Tell Tale Heart. I couldn't imagine the point of this until I came to the end. Boy, I thought, that applies to me and my PC since I joined FS. LOL. I sure wish I had a six left to give you, but if it's not too late, I can still vote.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Shari, the fact that you enjoyed the story is reward enough for me, my dear friend. No, unfortunately the contest is over. I lost 9 votes to 6. So... back to the old drawing board!
Comment from Ben Colder
Had I six , it would be yours. I have always wondered where the name Ghost writes came from. I have typed on one just like the one in the photo. Best to you Dean.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Had I six , it would be yours. I have always wondered where the name Ghost writes came from. I have typed on one just like the one in the photo. Best to you Dean.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thank you, Ben, I truly appreciate that my dear friend.
I've never had the pleasure of using an Underwood, but I did have an older Royal while in college. I miss that feel and sound of the keys digging into the paper when they strike, don't you?
Thanks so much again!
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1944-1958 GRADE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL YEARS. THR UNDERWOODS SIT IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY, LATER REPLACED WITH ROYALS. EXCUSE THE CAPS. NEED A LITTLE EYE ADJUSTING THIS MONING. REMEMBER THE LORD SAID WE WERE CHILDREN OF LIGHT, NOT DARKNESS. DARKENESS WILL NEVER COMPREHEND LIGHT. IT IS WHAT IT IS. SHALOM TO ALL THIS BEAUTIFUL SUNNY MORNING.
Comment from lancellot
It is a very interesting tale, and I like the cursed objects, purchased in an old store, it reminds me of an old TV show I used to watch. The story does seem to skip over how it typewriter forces him to write, and why, since it can type by itself. But nicely done.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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It is a very interesting tale, and I like the cursed objects, purchased in an old store, it reminds me of an old TV show I used to watch. The story does seem to skip over how it typewriter forces him to write, and why, since it can type by itself. But nicely done.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thanks, lancellot. I wanted to keep it as brief as possible as it was for a contest. But believe me, I had ideas that would have made it three time longer than it actually was.
Thanks again for the read & review,, my friend.
Comment from omerta16
Great story. An awesome use of suspense building and narrative in balance to string out the creepy feeling and allowing the story to unfold at a perfect pace. I really liked this and can see why you got the ribbons you did. Good job.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Great story. An awesome use of suspense building and narrative in balance to string out the creepy feeling and allowing the story to unfold at a perfect pace. I really liked this and can see why you got the ribbons you did. Good job.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, omerta16. That's a wonderful compliment, and I am very happy that you enjoyed it. Drop by anytime you take the notion to, my friend.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well this one should surely win. It is a skit from "The
Twilight Zone" if I ever read one. Very well done Dean.
Horror is not my cup of tea but I love your reviews! LOL
I really don't like to encourage bad dreams. I don't do spiders or snakes either. LOL Good job with this. The poor tortured soul met his untimely end. xxx Nancy
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Well this one should surely win. It is a skit from "The
Twilight Zone" if I ever read one. Very well done Dean.
Horror is not my cup of tea but I love your reviews! LOL
I really don't like to encourage bad dreams. I don't do spiders or snakes either. LOL Good job with this. The poor tortured soul met his untimely end. xxx Nancy
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2014
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Hah, thanks a bunch, Nancy, It lost in the contest, 9 votes to 6 two days ago. However, it was still very fun to write and participate in.
Comment from padumachitta
Hello. I just had to type that 6 in, it just had to happen. My keyboard and my ailing mind insisted.
Truly a brilliant piece of ghost writing, though the whole double meaning to that is so painful in this Underwood..I liked the voice in this, the sort of superior smugness...it some places a sort of Steinish way.
I won't go into all the good things you have done here...you know, you don't need my prattling on...besides...you must get back to your laptop...who knows what is happening there...
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Hello. I just had to type that 6 in, it just had to happen. My keyboard and my ailing mind insisted.
Truly a brilliant piece of ghost writing, though the whole double meaning to that is so painful in this Underwood..I liked the voice in this, the sort of superior smugness...it some places a sort of Steinish way.
I won't go into all the good things you have done here...you know, you don't need my prattling on...besides...you must get back to your laptop...who knows what is happening there...
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Hah, well thank you very much, padu. Coming from you, this means a great deal to me. Now, where the heck were ya' when the voting was going on? I sure coulda' used more reviews like yours!
Seriously, although it lost miserably in the contest (9 votes to 6), it was still a fun story to write. I truly appreciate your fine review and awesome comments!
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Hi. I was out of comission for a while...dang day job. I am just catching up on my reading. I piece like this is a little whacky for some of our fellow site memebers...but, that is what makes it so good.
thanks padumachitta
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You think this was whacky, you shoulda' read the other two entries, LOL!
Comment from NicciFaye
WOW...and this didn't win. Your imagination is superb and this is just excellent. You do know you are just as good as Stephen King...you should be just as big!!!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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WOW...and this didn't win. Your imagination is superb and this is just excellent. You do know you are just as good as Stephen King...you should be just as big!!!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Oh mercy, heavens no, Nicci! I am nowhere near the writer Mr. King is, and I would be the first one to admit that in a microsecond! I do appreciate the fact that you feel that way, though. It is a wonderful compliment. Nope, it didn't win, lost 9 votes to 6. I guess it's only my haters who choose to vote in the contests I enter. I can never seem to find many of my "peeps"! lol.
Seriously, I do appreciate your kind comments, Nicci.
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LOL..Your peeps be here son!!! LOL And I wouldn't said it if I didn't mean it. Of course, you wouldnt feel that way..Nothing conquers a star and his fan ;-)
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Comment from josieg521
Excellent story and well written. Your descriptions were taunting and mesmerizing. I can see this as a Twilight Zone episode with Walter Matthau tearing his hair out and puffing on his cigar as he is taken over by the ghost in the typewriter.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Excellent story and well written. Your descriptions were taunting and mesmerizing. I can see this as a Twilight Zone episode with Walter Matthau tearing his hair out and puffing on his cigar as he is taken over by the ghost in the typewriter.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2014
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Hah, yep, that's pretty much what I envisioned as I was writing it, an old TZ episode.
Thanks for such an awesome review and the encouraging comments. Much obliged, Josie!
