Reviews from

Yosemite

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Spirit & Are There Countries?"
Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.

18 total reviews 
Comment from GracieAnn
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Mikey, good continuance of the story with thoughtful lines like "Usually guilt crept to the surface years later after eating its way through a thickened crust of denial and justification". Good attempts to respect even the enemy. Well done. :0 GracieAnn


 Comment Written 25-Mar-2014

Comment from ravenblack
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A pass on taxes- yep. That would definitely be a sign that the government collapsed. Just who is dropping those empty cargo boxes? I don't remember if you revealed it yet, but I don't think it is the Russians.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
    I can't remember if I did. But, not the U.S. and not the Russians. Terrorists but I don't think I've named them yet. Way behind and going backwards. Appreciate your reviews a lot and have been using some of your ideas actually. I do read every single one with great interest. Trying to get caught up. I review first and Life and computer crashes.... Thanks for sticking with me. mikey
reply by ravenblack on 24-Mar-2014
    Don't sweat it. I still have 3 pages in my message box to finish.
Comment from Lovinia
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Hi Mikey

This chapter reads very well. The dialogue is smooth and shows a tight camaraderie between the campers themselves and regard Johnny as their unconditional leader. The Russians appear submissive and perhaps willing to co-operate, except for the General of course. I find no spag evident to me. I enjoyed the eulogy and the sense of all having to come together and meet at least half-way for the well-being of all. I would be a bit worried about the general being so able to speak with his men. He does not appear successful in his bid to rally his troops ... however he could succeed, if let to co-mingle. The solution for his is a difficult one. Isolation will breed his further contempt, or maybe it will force him to look at how the campers are treating his troops and he might calm down.

Johnny and Christine are compassionate people and more concerned with survival rather than conflict. Well done. A great chapter. I had quite a surprise at the thought of the successor to the presidency. I've missed chapters and am unsure what is known about what is happening in the rest of the world. Not much it seems. Hugs - Lovi xoxx

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2014

Comment from adewpearl
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You're President Kennedy - Your
I like Christine's speech and the message you deliver through it
The part about who is now president is very intriguing
love the comment about the taxes and the non-existence of the government :-)
Brooke

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2014

Comment from CR Delport
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Some of your sentences can do with a little punctuation to give them a little oomph. for ex: The sight of Christine in such a serious state clearly feeling every word she spoke moved the crowd in a way that I understood completely. --- The sight of Christine in such a serious state, clearly feeling every word she spoke, moved the crowd in a way that I understood completely. (Although I would rather find a way to reword the sentence to get rid of both adverbs)

If anything stranger has ever befallen my eyes I can't recall it. --- If anything stranger has ever befallen my eyes, I can't recall it.

Another great chapter.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2014

Comment from l.raven
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Well at least they are back at their camp...just with more people...feeling a little lonely here Michael...LOL...just kidding...but...so now the Russians are coming...ok Lets move on...Did you ask the dog or one of the birds what's next???LOL...it's great!!!well done...luff Ya Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
    You'll see when I post tonight. Got ya hooked up! Hahaha. Less than an hour! The dog's strictly in to water-colors and the birds a diva, can't carry on a conversation with it...doesn't have time for me. mikey
reply by l.raven on 22-Mar-2014
    LMAO!!!!water colors...look at all the talent in your family...LOL...omg...luff
Comment from nelliesellie
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The world seems to be in a mess. Armies are fighting, but are there real countries? People may have to establish their own loyalties. Their common funeral was a start. Value the people closest to you first. Great work.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2014

Comment from Nosha17
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I hope we are not in for such turmoil in the real world. Well written, with good dialogue, especially the colloquial bits. Good narrative and descriptions made it an interesting chapter. I noted a few errors, but nothing too dramatic. Enjoyable read. Faye

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2014

Comment from Sasha
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This is a deeply moving and well written chapter. You seem to be doing just fine without any input from me. I didn't see any spags...not that I ever see them. So once again, you only get a thumbs up from me.

Have you checked out my last chapter? I just posted another today.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2014
    Hi! I am so buried I can't see straight. I am so pleased you liked this. I was very happy with Christine's eulogy and hoping that you might be too. I'll read both of yours today. I'll just skip over everyone else. Hahaha. I need to read something GOOD anyway!!! mikey
reply by Sasha on 22-Mar-2014
    I loved her eulogy...maybe you can get her to write mine with the time comes...lol
Comment from Tatarka2
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This was the best chapter I've read of this series. Christine's eulogy was perfect. There's just enough here to keep the reader mystified and intrigued. I don't have a clue what's going on, but that's the beauty of it. You want to read on to find out. I love the juxtaposition of historical figures - what on earth could that mean? Well done. I have no 6's left. This might have gotten one. Keep on in this vein, I think, and this will be a very intriguing, readable story.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2014