Yosemite
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Plans Made and Set in Motion"Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.
18 total reviews
Comment from 24chas
Had to re-read the previous chapters to get back in the swing again. A great chapter, mikey. Again the pacing was perfect and the sequence well written.
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Had to re-read the previous chapters to get back in the swing again. A great chapter, mikey. Again the pacing was perfect and the sequence well written.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Nice picture, Mikey, she is the apple of my eye. Looks fantastic, you got that SPAG demon slayed, wish I could say that, I see no errors, you still are coming up with ideas, good job! I enjoyed her! wackydo
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2014
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Nice picture, Mikey, she is the apple of my eye. Looks fantastic, you got that SPAG demon slayed, wish I could say that, I see no errors, you still are coming up with ideas, good job! I enjoyed her! wackydo
Comment Written 15-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2014
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Wait till you read the next one that I think is good! Hahaha. I don't think any of my stuff is good usually. I actually liked the next one. Did another page of Ask Angela too. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the great review. mikey
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I'm way behind schedule. I got lots of reviewing to do--yours the first. I will be on station soon.
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I was all set to make a big push to catch up this morning bright and early. My internet was down. AAAHHHH!!!! Further behind. Just back on line. I am keeping up with reviewing and reading reviews, but you wouldn't believe how many reviews I have to respond to. It is an insane number. Private Pyle, out!
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Private Pyle, you amuse me. The downside to having a lots of fans is evident. I probably got 30 I need to review today as soon as I cross the T's. I'm steering away from flash fiction, my next chapter will be a lot slower and include more Kodak moments and such. Want be long, I will give you some reviews, later Private Pyle, push-up position--hut!
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You mean to tell me you can't do one pull up Private Pyle? Get off my obstacle!! (That's how I got out of boot camp so I could sign up for Fanstory!)
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Private Pyle--is that an Irish pennant I see--that is unsat--go scrub the head with a toothbrush, Pyle.
Comment from l.raven
Well did they get the camp back??? doing great Michael...another great book...you are so funny....you just make it up as you go along...ya know I luff ya Luff Lindaxxoo so very well written
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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Well did they get the camp back??? doing great Michael...another great book...you are so funny....you just make it up as you go along...ya know I luff ya Luff Lindaxxoo so very well written
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
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I just wrote it! I think it's pretty good too and I don't usually like my own writing. Tick-tock.... about an hour to go.... mikey
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LOL....you go boy!!!
Comment from Tatarka2
There's something about the writing in this one that seems a bit more simplistic than I'm used to in your writing. As I read the piece, I was trying to figure out how to say that. Then I realized that I had gotten caught up in the plot and was reading to find out what happens next. So, simplistic or not, it works. I think the plot is spot-on, although of course I haven't clue where it's going. That's what makes it good. The use of dialogue is excellent and moves the plot along in a very readable way. You know, it might be the character development. These people are intriguing but they all seem like "types," so far, not complex, 3-dimensional people. Just a thought.
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There's something about the writing in this one that seems a bit more simplistic than I'm used to in your writing. As I read the piece, I was trying to figure out how to say that. Then I realized that I had gotten caught up in the plot and was reading to find out what happens next. So, simplistic or not, it works. I think the plot is spot-on, although of course I haven't clue where it's going. That's what makes it good. The use of dialogue is excellent and moves the plot along in a very readable way. You know, it might be the character development. These people are intriguing but they all seem like "types," so far, not complex, 3-dimensional people. Just a thought.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Only eight of the men responded? Hell, if she is like the photo at all, even little sprinkles would have become a gentlemen. Just a thought- what if they are alien ships masquerading as stealth bombers, the dropped supplies an illusion to round everybody up?
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Only eight of the men responded? Hell, if she is like the photo at all, even little sprinkles would have become a gentlemen. Just a thought- what if they are alien ships masquerading as stealth bombers, the dropped supplies an illusion to round everybody up?
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from Marillion
It's always tough to write this kind of scene, Mikey, but I think you've got it right. You've set the scene, established the make-up of the camp, and started in on the action. Proceed, my friend.
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It's always tough to write this kind of scene, Mikey, but I think you've got it right. You've set the scene, established the make-up of the camp, and started in on the action. Proceed, my friend.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
The extra supplies will take pressure off all the survivors Johnny's camp is They are going to have to change everything about it. It might be a wise ideal to have valuables in separate places. Great work.
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The extra supplies will take pressure off all the survivors Johnny's camp is They are going to have to change everything about it. It might be a wise ideal to have valuables in separate places. Great work.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from Petriesan
in re this sentence: It seemed like an eternity for me
might be better like this: time drug on (or dragged) or minutes and hours slowly accumulated into days and weeks.
I think I am saying show vs tell>
But anyway, your gift is the story. Thank you for writing
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in re this sentence: It seemed like an eternity for me
might be better like this: time drug on (or dragged) or minutes and hours slowly accumulated into days and weeks.
I think I am saying show vs tell>
But anyway, your gift is the story. Thank you for writing
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
GOod plan so far, but who could be creeping up behind them? SOmeone to help, maybe? Hillbillies? Or more danger? Guess I'll have to wait. Good writing, Mikey. :)
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GOod plan so far, but who could be creeping up behind them? SOmeone to help, maybe? Hillbillies? Or more danger? Guess I'll have to wait. Good writing, Mikey. :)
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Mikey.
Another good chapter that brings in more tension. You are building nicely toward the ending and showing the stress of the situation. The ending of this chapter is a good cliff hanger. Well done.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
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Hi, Mikey.
Another good chapter that brings in more tension. You are building nicely toward the ending and showing the stress of the situation. The ending of this chapter is a good cliff hanger. Well done.
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 14-Mar-2014
