Reviews from

Yosemite

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Client Therapy & Dog Care"
Acts of war have plunged Earth into catastrophe.

11 total reviews 
Comment from GracieAnn
Excellent
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Mikey, you have done a good job of the too many chiefs issue and the foreshadowing of the possible reactions of the survivors to the death of one of their membership. Detachment can be dangerous. Interesting injection into the story. Well done. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Glad you are enjoying and picking up on the little things that I hope will be picked up on. Yea!! Thank you so much, mikey
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
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There is something surreal about the woman stumbling into the campsite with a fluffy poodle. A mad max dingo- yes, but a poodle honestly is kind- of startling, so mundane but not, a reminder of how things were. I think your newcomer will have an interesting story to tell.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Yes. Her experience is different from theirs as they should have realized. I think a poodle would be more scary than a bear just because it would be so out of place.
Comment from 24chas
Excellent
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Great chapter, mikey. I know, I say that all the time, but I can't help it. It's true. I liked this one because of the dynamics of the people involved. It's very interesting to see how they interact. Too bad about Average Joe.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014
    Yeah. He was making eyes at one of my fictional characters. She's my made-up girl!! I've got the pen dude. Why couldn't he see that. Glad your liking it. Great chapter is not something I will grow tired of hearing, believe me!
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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Oh Michael, leave it to you to put a cute dog in here...you have such a big heart...sorry Jo died...very well written you...just keep it coming...luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014

Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
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This is a good page, Mikey, it is how I would expect it too be after the almost total destruction of the world. People won't know what to do, and everyday chatter is going to be latched onto as a source of normality. Any chatter, come to that. Now you have left us with a sort of cliff hanger, what dreadful story is this attractive lady going to add into the lives of the few that are left here. Well written Mikey. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014

Comment from Michaelk
Excellent
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Ok, now you've upped the tension about a thousand percent. I feel it in your narrative, the desperation beginning to creep into the mind of the survivors. "It is the silent scream of foreshadowing that lives in every spine..."
That is a simply amazing line. I liked the ongoing argument between the clients, and seeing the other campfires is tantalizing. I would have wanted to send someone to scout out the land by now. I saw no SPAG on this chapter. Good job. Now I'm off to the next chapter, since I need to catch up with how fast you are releasing chapters.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great chapter here. Finally some outside input. A rather chilling scene. The dog being so cute and out of place and the over the top reaction shows just how on edge everyone actually is. Cannot wait to hear her story. Well writte as characyers are defined and introducrd in an entertaining way. NG

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    So pleased you liked that aspect of it. I thought that was a pretty intense part of it myself. The little harmless dog getting such a reaction. Thank you for all the stars and a wonderful review!! mikey
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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Leave it to Christine to raise the moral - morale
An interesting look at the way people relate and how the narrator assesses their places in the pecking order and their liabilities and assets as group members
you make it clear how real the concerns are about survival and food supply
Brooke

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    Good! Very encouraging reaction. Just what I was hoping to hear. I wrote this a couple years ago and I seem to be a better writer now!! I am adding as I go. I have questions that I can almost hear readers asking as I read it myself. Thank you so much, mikey
Comment from Nosha17
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It is an interesting chapter, but I think your earlier chapters had more continuity. I am not saying it is not good now, this chapter, but I think you should be careful not to listen to too many suggestions as it is your story after all. You had the original idea which is very clever and you don't give yourself enough credit. I am not sure that the pregnancy thing is a good idea. If it were a female author I can understand that, but as a male author it has to be plausible from the man's stance. You may think I am being too critical (it is not my intention to be so) but I find your writing which came purely from you was more flowing and enjoyable. I don't know how much you have added from elsewhere. Hope you don't mind me writing my opinion, I may not be right, just a feeling I have. I personally find with my writing, going with my own gut instincts is better than listening to too many others. Hope you don't mind me saying this. Faye

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
    I always want your opinion. Yes! I haven't added too much from elsewhere, but some of the questions trigger things in my own mind and I think of things that I think belong. I'll try to stick with my original focus though and try not to go too far afield. Keep letting me know what you think. I appreciate it. Mikey
Comment from ragamuffin
Excellent
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Nice change up at the end, going from something bad but perhaps hopeful/ survivable on to a nightmare no one may wake up from. A tech note, did you mean "morale" instead of "moral" in the second line? I like the way it seems to be noted that true leadership is by example and not by order. Nice that it's noted as well that a miscarriage is a definite loss (of a child) that does hit you hard. Been there and done that quite a few times, as did my daughter last month. Looking forward to more of the story.

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 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014