A Devil's Triangle
Ripped from the headlines...62 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
OMG! That was a surprise! Well, he certainly stopped her in her tracks, bet both of them wished they could turn the clock back. What a clever poem, it could very easily have gone into the 'story in a poem' contest. It was a great read anyway! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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OMG! That was a surprise! Well, he certainly stopped her in her tracks, bet both of them wished they could turn the clock back. What a clever poem, it could very easily have gone into the 'story in a poem' contest. It was a great read anyway! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 22-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, sandra. I doubt I'll enter any of the contests here, mostly because I never think to look at them, and I more or less follow my muse, so if that interest and contest intersect, who knows? I appreciate the review! :)
Comment from J. P. Egry
Fabulous story in a poem. And being a Shakespearean pattern, it has a classic look, sound and feel. Meter and rhyming are perfect and the enjambment just adds to the flow of the piece. Lots of great visuals as well as attention to the sense of sound---carefully selected words bring the poem to life and keep it filled with heightened emotion. This was my most enjoyable read in the last 24 hours! Wish I has that darn sixth star.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Fabulous story in a poem. And being a Shakespearean pattern, it has a classic look, sound and feel. Meter and rhyming are perfect and the enjambment just adds to the flow of the piece. Lots of great visuals as well as attention to the sense of sound---carefully selected words bring the poem to life and keep it filled with heightened emotion. This was my most enjoyable read in the last 24 hours! Wish I has that darn sixth star.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, J.P. for your kind and wonderful review. I gratefully accept your virtual sixer. :)
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You're so welcome.
Comment from comanalbert
I would have enjoyed more a triangle with two "she" that can't use "not, never,no" and all words with "n".
Maybe next one?
PS: Have you never tried prose?Bet you'll do a good job too..
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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I would have enjoyed more a triangle with two "she" that can't use "not, never,no" and all words with "n".
Maybe next one?
PS: Have you never tried prose?Bet you'll do a good job too..
Comment Written 22-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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I hear you, brother. Thank you! I've done a bit of prose, but I always seem to come back to poetry.
Comment from madhatter1977
Very good poem, Marillion. It's interesting to see such black and white reporting of such things - however that might be the media at work. Life is complexx for a lot od people. Best wishes, Pete
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Very good poem, Marillion. It's interesting to see such black and white reporting of such things - however that might be the media at work. Life is complexx for a lot od people. Best wishes, Pete
Comment Written 21-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thanks very much, my friend. I appreciate the great review!
Comment from Erik McGinley
Nice poem, Marillion.
Didn't appreciate a lot of your rogue stuff because you seemed to be skimping, but this is the second I have read today that I genuinely liked.
Nice writing :)
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Nice poem, Marillion.
Didn't appreciate a lot of your rogue stuff because you seemed to be skimping, but this is the second I have read today that I genuinely liked.
Nice writing :)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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I'm not sure what you mean by skimping, Erik, as they're not necessarily easy to do, but they're also certainly not for people who don't have the sense of humor to accept them for what they are. Thanks for the review, my friend.
Comment from mfowler
I usually expect sonnets to be a little romantic. I guess this is essentially about love and its passionate aftermath. It's a well told tale especially through the thought bubbles of the killer. You hold the truth back really well, building suspense to the final revelation.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
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I usually expect sonnets to be a little romantic. I guess this is essentially about love and its passionate aftermath. It's a well told tale especially through the thought bubbles of the killer. You hold the truth back really well, building suspense to the final revelation.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
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I think sonnets have that stigma, or expectation, but some of my favorites have nothing to do with love, but I also think that's more of a modern evolution. Thanks so much, my friend! D
Comment from nancyjam
How sad and how often this happens.
Jealousy, betrayal, pride, anger can all lead to
An unhappy ending like this.
You tell the story well in this excellent
Sonnet.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
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How sad and how often this happens.
Jealousy, betrayal, pride, anger can all lead to
An unhappy ending like this.
You tell the story well in this excellent
Sonnet.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Nancy.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
He thought, You?re never leaving, though, you bitch.
Your lover came for you, and wasn?t he
Surprised to find you two would share a ditch
And not a cozy condo by the sea?[ v good lines and style]
Overall, the poem has all a reader is usually looking for in a piece of work like this.
K
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
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He thought, You?re never leaving, though, you bitch.
Your lover came for you, and wasn?t he
Surprised to find you two would share a ditch
And not a cozy condo by the sea?[ v good lines and style]
Overall, the poem has all a reader is usually looking for in a piece of work like this.
K
Comment Written 20-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2014
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K, I really appreciate the great review.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Wow!! I follow quite a few poets on the site, and I'm just thrilled to find another one with such talent. This poem is right up my alley as far as its theme. I can't speak to the form much because I'm not a poet of that depth, but it looked spot on to me! Warm regards, Bev
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2014
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Wow!! I follow quite a few poets on the site, and I'm just thrilled to find another one with such talent. This poem is right up my alley as far as its theme. I can't speak to the form much because I'm not a poet of that depth, but it looked spot on to me! Warm regards, Bev
Comment Written 20-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2014
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Thank you SO much, Bev, for your great review and kind words. I really appreciate it!
David
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You're very welcome, David. :0)
Comment from Just2Write
OMG, David - you do find the most bazaar things to make us squirm in our chairs. This poem is perfect, but so macabre. The darkness and hurt of the main character is downright haunting.
I like how you open with the scene of the person walking through the rain. The reason for this does not become clear until the final couplet. Brilliantly done.
I'm sure it's true that these triangles happen all the time, and you have done a great job at examining one of them. It is unfortunate that the creep appears to be 'getting away with murder' but hey, that happens all the time too, even though we like to pretend it doesn't.
Rose.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2014
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OMG, David - you do find the most bazaar things to make us squirm in our chairs. This poem is perfect, but so macabre. The darkness and hurt of the main character is downright haunting.
I like how you open with the scene of the person walking through the rain. The reason for this does not become clear until the final couplet. Brilliantly done.
I'm sure it's true that these triangles happen all the time, and you have done a great job at examining one of them. It is unfortunate that the creep appears to be 'getting away with murder' but hey, that happens all the time too, even though we like to pretend it doesn't.
Rose.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2014
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Sorry, Rose. Yes, this one even made ME feel uncomfortable from a few perspectives. I hate violence, and the idea of murder, whether as victim or murderer, scares me. It didn't start as a murder poem, but morphed into it when the news had a story about one when I was writing about fidelity. Thanks so much.
