Reviews from

Lord of Darkness

The Fall and Rise of Lucifer

40 total reviews 
Comment from Dirus
Excellent
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HI Amahra,
Nice job on the opening paragraph. I like the picture, goes well with the story. Good description in the opening paragraph as well. Thank you for the good read and keep up the good work. :)

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you Dirus. I'm glad you liked the prelude.
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
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Well-written prologue with excellent use of language to convey the imagery of the story. Your narrative and descriptions were detailed and it read well from start to finish. Most fitting illustration. Faye

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much Faye. I'm glad you liked the imagery.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Excellent
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This is a very interesting Spiritual Fiction story.
I found it to be well displayed and with good expression.
Good write and art work as well.
Good job!
:)

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much. I really appreciate your reading. I'm glad you liked the expression.
Comment from A Matter Of Words
Excellent
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The imagery in this story is very effective....endless sea of glass, bright as crystal...it crated a mist that served as fragrant incense in the nostrils of God. So, the Bearer of Light is missing....A good start to this work...Great picture.

This is the first time I noticed your bio-photo....Very clever.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much for your careful read of my work. I'm glad you liked the descriptive writing. As for the bio-image, I just put it up. I thought it--cute.
Comment from Petriesan
Excellent
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not sure you need "colorful"

this piece reads really smoothly and well and I look forward to seeing where this goes

nice work


 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much. Trying to remember where the word colorful appears. But will take another look.
reply by Petriesan on 30-Jan-2014
    first sentence. It is fine there, but I think sapphires do the trick
Comment from JoshuaFrame
Excellent
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Keep up the great work! I loved this and you do a great job of showing rather than just saying. Thanks for the read! :) A good read always makes up for a boring day!

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much Joshua. I love that name btw. It's a strong name.
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Excellent
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Choosing a title can be a very daunting experience. Unfortunately, I suppose that two people tend to chose the same title. This can cause problems with copyright and the whole fight, inevitably ensues. As for the prelude, I think you have the right idea. Keep it simple to get to the heart of the story. Nice cliffhanger to create suspense and get the curiosity juices flowing. Good luck with the project.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much Jacobs. I'm not sure what the copyright laws are covering dead authors of the 17th century, but I'm slowly loosing the idea of using Milton's tittle.
Comment from Enrique28
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

amahra, the subject is not my cup of tea, but top marks for your writing ability in this introduction...

He was their light and the lamb was their lamp.

...as fragrant incense in the nostrils of God.

A couple of samples of your clever imagery!

Enrique

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
    Thank you so much for reading and for the high marks. I'm glad you liked those lines.
Comment from forestport12
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nice hook for the prologue. I love it. this reminds of the classic writers too. You did a great job writing with simplicity of power, and allowing the reader to wonder with amazement and then wonder why the bearer of the light would not come. You set the stage for conflict to come. You set the table and wetted my appetite. Stan

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2014
    Wow Stan. "You made my day" is an understatement. It's believers like you whom I aim to please. Thank you so much.
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
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'Lord Of Darkness.' The prelude you have created here was well written and you should have a smooth transition to the first chapter. Well done.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2014
    thank you very much.
reply by chasennov on 29-Jan-2014
    You are most welcome.