Rodeo Bull Rider
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Jakes Proposal"A Life"s Dream Almost Ruined
8 total reviews
Comment from Lulube
At the start (since, drop) Jake had no more tubes hooked up to him so Betsy could curl......
need a space before kissing her forehead lightly.
they ate breakfast in an unusual silence.
(")put in front of It's just that this happened so fast.
do these changes and good to go
cont where is the space between " and kissing her on the forehead
Jake had no more tubes hooked up to him so Betsy.... do this line word for word what I have written
lulube also not an usual silence in unusual silence
you didn[t do these corrections yet I guess;
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2014
At the start (since, drop) Jake had no more tubes hooked up to him so Betsy could curl......
need a space before kissing her forehead lightly.
they ate breakfast in an unusual silence.
(")put in front of It's just that this happened so fast.
do these changes and good to go
cont where is the space between " and kissing her on the forehead
Jake had no more tubes hooked up to him so Betsy.... do this line word for word what I have written
lulube also not an usual silence in unusual silence
you didn[t do these corrections yet I guess;
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2014
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done thanks for the heads up my friend- going to start on a new book soon as we get this one out of the way not a western
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this is done for me to read again right ok
lulube
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yes maam
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you laugh now!!!! lol
lulube
Comment from sunnilicious
A little lovemaking and the relationship is back on track. Ohhh no, Jake is still recuperating. I dunno know about this Betsy. Jake might be better with that smutty nurse. Good work.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
A little lovemaking and the relationship is back on track. Ohhh no, Jake is still recuperating. I dunno know about this Betsy. Jake might be better with that smutty nurse. Good work.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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okay now don't go giving Jake any ideas, let Duke have the smutty nurse lol
Comment from Cajungirl
Great dialog, well written Chapter. I am sure glad that Betsy told Jake yes she would marry him. I look forward to see what kind of job Fowler will help him to find, if any.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
Great dialog, well written Chapter. I am sure glad that Betsy told Jake yes she would marry him. I look forward to see what kind of job Fowler will help him to find, if any.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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never say never girl he is no slouch
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I know that. I read the next Chapter. :}
Comment from Ric Myworld
Your hard work is showing up in your writing as you improve daily. Thanks for another great heart touching chapter.
Below are the only couple of things that I noticed:
>>She sweet and loving as she , and it puts a smile on his face.
>>They ate breakfast with usual silence. (change to )
>>"Want to tell me why you are so quiet,"squeezing Jake's hand lightly as she looked intently into his eyes. It's just this happened so fast (,) I felt . . .
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
Your hard work is showing up in your writing as you improve daily. Thanks for another great heart touching chapter.
Below are the only couple of things that I noticed:
>>She
>>They ate breakfast with
>>"Want to tell me why you are so quiet,"squeezing Jake's hand lightly as she looked intently into his eyes. It's just
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED STICK AROUND MORE TO COME
Comment from Daniel J. Darcey
^_^ A very romantic chapter. Well at least Betsy excepted the proposal. That's good. Jake was indeed given a new lease on life. He had better get through the pains of the accident to be with her. Well anyway this was a sweet chapter, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
^_^ A very romantic chapter. Well at least Betsy excepted the proposal. That's good. Jake was indeed given a new lease on life. He had better get through the pains of the accident to be with her. Well anyway this was a sweet chapter, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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so glad you enjoyed hope you follow along with me
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is another fine post from the author. I liked this a lot. Jake is a real man who knows exactly what he wants from life. I hope it works out for him.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
This is another fine post from the author. I liked this a lot. Jake is a real man who knows exactly what he wants from life. I hope it works out for him.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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hang around and find out what is next in his life and the challenges he faces
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I will.
Comment from jmdg1954
Very good chapter. I found no glaring errors to speak of. I thought that it was well written, had a nice flow to the story line and kept the reader interested to see what was going to happen next. John
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
Very good chapter. I found no glaring errors to speak of. I thought that it was well written, had a nice flow to the story line and kept the reader interested to see what was going to happen next. John
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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hope you come back to find out what happens in Jakes life
Comment from Enchanted2write
I would first like to say that this is a lovely story. I found a couple of error, but nothing real major. For instance, there is no two negative in a sentence,
"No big men, don't cry." Would probably sound better, as "big men, don't cry."
I would also would like to say, I don't know what you're disable is, but if you know anyone who has a missing leg. They have to deal with a lot of chronic pain, plus it takes months to learn how to walk with a prosthetic leg.
My husband has one, he lost his leg in the war.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
I would first like to say that this is a lovely story. I found a couple of error, but nothing real major. For instance, there is no two negative in a sentence,
"No big men, don't cry." Would probably sound better, as "big men, don't cry."
I would also would like to say, I don't know what you're disable is, but if you know anyone who has a missing leg. They have to deal with a lot of chronic pain, plus it takes months to learn how to walk with a prosthetic leg.
My husband has one, he lost his leg in the war.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks for following me and giving me tips it is appreciated