Phoenix Down
The Cycle of the Phoenix37 total reviews
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hi, David
WOW! This is truly amazing and through the reading of your poetry, I'm gaining a much better understanding of internal line rhyme blended with end-rhyme patterns. It just adds a whole new dimension to everything.
You've taken the story of the Phoenix and made it your own with this stellar piece of writing. No suggestions for improvement.
Ray
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Hi, David
WOW! This is truly amazing and through the reading of your poetry, I'm gaining a much better understanding of internal line rhyme blended with end-rhyme patterns. It just adds a whole new dimension to everything.
You've taken the story of the Phoenix and made it your own with this stellar piece of writing. No suggestions for improvement.
Ray
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Ray. As always, your thoughts (and your praise) mean a lot to me. Cheers, brother!
David
Comment from L.A.Matthies
With hope refilled, I'll soon rebuild
The pieces on the sacred ground,
To forge anew, in multi-hue,
The ashes of a Phoenix downed. - Well, you've summed up the human spirit ...at least for those of us attempting to reinvent ourselves. Trial, tribulation and intense soul-searching all contribute to the rebirth ...excellent work :)
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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With hope refilled, I'll soon rebuild
The pieces on the sacred ground,
To forge anew, in multi-hue,
The ashes of a Phoenix downed. - Well, you've summed up the human spirit ...at least for those of us attempting to reinvent ourselves. Trial, tribulation and intense soul-searching all contribute to the rebirth ...excellent work :)
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much, L.A. As always, I appreciate your review!
Comment from Rondeno
The tight, totally under-control versification (with that clever internal rhyme in the first line) would mark this poem out as very impressive, without anything else.
However, there's much more going on here. You've captured, without ever having to spell it out, the fascination which the ancients had for the individuality-versus-immortality thing. Are we living finite little lives? Or is something grander going on? Your poem encapsulates both poles - and the dialectic tension between them. In the true sense, it's great!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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The tight, totally under-control versification (with that clever internal rhyme in the first line) would mark this poem out as very impressive, without anything else.
However, there's much more going on here. You've captured, without ever having to spell it out, the fascination which the ancients had for the individuality-versus-immortality thing. Are we living finite little lives? Or is something grander going on? Your poem encapsulates both poles - and the dialectic tension between them. In the true sense, it's great!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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My friend, you're too kind! As always, I really appreciate your excellent reviews, your six, and you. Thank you.
Comment from pipersfancy
And, thus is the cycle life takes us through - although, it's very nice when we are able to spread our wings for a time before the next crises singes our wings and brings us down once more. Being in flight at the moment, I'm enjoying the view!
PF
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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And, thus is the cycle life takes us through - although, it's very nice when we are able to spread our wings for a time before the next crises singes our wings and brings us down once more. Being in flight at the moment, I'm enjoying the view!
PF
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much, my friend. Safe travels!
Comment from Just2Write
A great write, Dave. I love the story of the Phoenix, which burned and resurrected every five hundred years. This poem is a fantastic metaphor for the life of the speaker. I enjoyed so many of the verses, but my favourite was:
Through countless lives my soul survives,
With each demise the very same,
A comet scorched and fully-torched
As aspirations fall to flame
A beautiful way to say one crashed and burned.
The beauty is that from the ashes, they were reborn.
Rose.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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A great write, Dave. I love the story of the Phoenix, which burned and resurrected every five hundred years. This poem is a fantastic metaphor for the life of the speaker. I enjoyed so many of the verses, but my favourite was:
Through countless lives my soul survives,
With each demise the very same,
A comet scorched and fully-torched
As aspirations fall to flame
A beautiful way to say one crashed and burned.
The beauty is that from the ashes, they were reborn.
Rose.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Rose! I appreciate it!
Comment from catch22
This is beatiful and a powerful testiment to the resilience of the spirit. Lots of strong images and good use of internal rhyming makes this very pleasant to read. Nicely penned.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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This is beatiful and a powerful testiment to the resilience of the spirit. Lots of strong images and good use of internal rhyming makes this very pleasant to read. Nicely penned.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Gail! I appreciate it!
Comment from robina1978
An excellent picture to complement this interesting and informative poem. I love the way you mostly write with also internal rhyme. This time you chose Phoenix,
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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An excellent picture to complement this interesting and informative poem. I love the way you mostly write with also internal rhyme. This time you chose Phoenix,
Comment Written 18-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much, Robina. I appreciate it.
Comment from The Death
Hi Marillion,
I was delighted to see this one as I am also working on the same theme.
Phoenix is a beautiful metaphor and certainly a great source of inspiration.
I LOVED the following verse:
With eagle screams and armored dreams,
My re-ascent deprives my foes.
My living cause, with razor claws,
Will shred the wings of circling crows
These lines offer a visual treat and convey the intense desire to break free and rise above all the odds.
I like the usage of strong verbs which make it more dramatic
and easy to visualize.
With the consistent meter, it flows really well with the fine use of phonetics throughout--imparting musicality to your well chosen words.
Internal rhymes are an added bonus.
I like the 'flight' of optimism and the passion to be born out of ashes, intended in the last line.
This is beautifully expressed--in words and essence.
I enjoyed reading this one.
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Hi Marillion,
I was delighted to see this one as I am also working on the same theme.
Phoenix is a beautiful metaphor and certainly a great source of inspiration.
I LOVED the following verse:
With eagle screams and armored dreams,
My re-ascent deprives my foes.
My living cause, with razor claws,
Will shred the wings of circling crows
These lines offer a visual treat and convey the intense desire to break free and rise above all the odds.
I like the usage of strong verbs which make it more dramatic
and easy to visualize.
With the consistent meter, it flows really well with the fine use of phonetics throughout--imparting musicality to your well chosen words.
Internal rhymes are an added bonus.
I like the 'flight' of optimism and the passion to be born out of ashes, intended in the last line.
This is beautifully expressed--in words and essence.
I enjoyed reading this one.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 18-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much, Anupam! What a great review, and now that we're following each other, I look forward to your own Phoenix piece!
Comment from padumachitta
Hello. Okay, so far this is my favorite poem I have read of yours. I like this best
Through countless lives my soul survives,
With each demise the very same,
A comet scorched and fully-torched
As aspirations fall to flame.
Mostly it just reads so well and sears the images behind my eyes.
May you be well
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Hello. Okay, so far this is my favorite poem I have read of yours. I like this best
Through countless lives my soul survives,
With each demise the very same,
A comet scorched and fully-torched
As aspirations fall to flame.
Mostly it just reads so well and sears the images behind my eyes.
May you be well
Comment Written 18-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Pad, thank you so much for the sixer and for the kind words! May you be well, too!
Comment from visionary1234
Another gorgeous piece from you David - I've not read anyone before who uses regular internal rhyme with such flair and precision! Well done!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Another gorgeous piece from you David - I've not read anyone before who uses regular internal rhyme with such flair and precision! Well done!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 18-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much, SHaryn! I appreciate the kind review!
