Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 67 "Sleeping Child"Personal poems
16 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Your granddaughter is absolutely gorgeous!
excellent use of abab rhyme
good incorporation of the quatern's repeating/descending line
when the eye's shut tight - when the eye is shut tight doesn't make sense
lovely descriptive detail and your poem is just filled with love :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Your granddaughter is absolutely gorgeous!
excellent use of abab rhyme
good incorporation of the quatern's repeating/descending line
when the eye's shut tight - when the eye is shut tight doesn't make sense
lovely descriptive detail and your poem is just filled with love :-) Brooke
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you Brooke. I know, but you can just shut one eye. :-)
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when sleeping?
Comment from TAB_that's me
Your poem is a sweet as the sleeping child in the picture. They sure are angelic in sleep. Your form is wonderful with you words.
~teresa~
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Your poem is a sweet as the sleeping child in the picture. They sure are angelic in sleep. Your form is wonderful with you words.
~teresa~
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you Teresa.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
"The angelic face of a sleeping child." - A simply elevating experience to read this lovely poem. It is masterfully constructed and flawlessly expresses the feelings evoked when seeing a child at rest. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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"The angelic face of a sleeping child." - A simply elevating experience to read this lovely poem. It is masterfully constructed and flawlessly expresses the feelings evoked when seeing a child at rest. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you Mystic Angel 7777. Glad you enjoyed it so much.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
This is an excellent quatern. It has good flow and rhyme is effective. It has good figurative language and imagery, The refrain is effective.
Preston
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Hi, Treischel,
This is an excellent quatern. It has good flow and rhyme is effective. It has good figurative language and imagery, The refrain is effective.
Preston
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thank you Preston.
Comment from ravenblack
So true! Both our kids had colic pretty bad, and the sight of their sleeping faces was beatific indeed! It meant that we would get a few hours sleep.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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So true! Both our kids had colic pretty bad, and the sight of their sleeping faces was beatific indeed! It meant that we would get a few hours sleep.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Thank you ravenblack, yes, they tend to be much more angelic when they are asleep.
Comment from rod007
This brings my thoughts back to when my kids were babies many moons ago. I now just have the memories and the pictures. A great poem that depicts the innocence and beauty of a baby and their angelic face. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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This brings my thoughts back to when my kids were babies many moons ago. I now just have the memories and the pictures. A great poem that depicts the innocence and beauty of a baby and their angelic face. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Thank you rod. I find the very angelic when they are sleeping, not so much when they are awake.
Comment from cottoncandy11
Hello, well first of all beautiful child. Thanks for the great read and I feel the same way about my grandson, but sadly he is ten now, so I just have to look back at his pictures.
Regards, CC
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Hello, well first of all beautiful child. Thanks for the great read and I feel the same way about my grandson, but sadly he is ten now, so I just have to look back at his pictures.
Regards, CC
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Thank you Ine. Have a blessed Sunday.
Comment from robina1978
Lovely and well taken photo of your grandchild. And then an excellent poem about her, describing her as an angel. I loved it.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Lovely and well taken photo of your grandchild. And then an excellent poem about her, describing her as an angel. I loved it.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Thank you Joneau. Glad you liked the poem.
Comment from joneau2
That's quite a beautiful tribute to your granddaughter. She is a beautiful child. But there you go losing me in all that poetry stuff technical jargon ... suffice for this pea brain just to read the poetry.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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That's quite a beautiful tribute to your granddaughter. She is a beautiful child. But there you go losing me in all that poetry stuff technical jargon ... suffice for this pea brain just to read the poetry.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Thank you Sueellen.
Comment from Sueellen11
Excellent write,,I like the poetry style,, I like the French versions like kyrielle end this quaternary,, your have presented it perfectly,,great write,,snow beautifully word,, love the last lined,,blessings sueellen
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Excellent write,,I like the poetry style,, I like the French versions like kyrielle end this quaternary,, your have presented it perfectly,,great write,,snow beautifully word,, love the last lined,,blessings sueellen
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2013
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Thank you Marrietta.
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Is this ment for Marietta,not me sueellen
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Sorry Sueellen.
