Our Private Orchestra
free verse18 total reviews
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Evening, Greg
This poem is quite haunting. Trapped inside my mind is something I think we all experience from time-to-time, but it is also something more horrid as one ages and is indeed trapped inside his mind as his body fails. I think this is perhaps one of my greatest fears as I age.
A most thought provoking poem and a fine read this evening.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Ray
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Good Evening, Greg
This poem is quite haunting. Trapped inside my mind is something I think we all experience from time-to-time, but it is also something more horrid as one ages and is indeed trapped inside his mind as his body fails. I think this is perhaps one of my greatest fears as I age.
A most thought provoking poem and a fine read this evening.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Ray
Comment Written 27-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much Ray. So much. I love your take, your review. Haunting yes. Thank you for sharing that with me. It made me think too. You're a very insightful person Ray. Thank you for reading this. Really.
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You're very welcome, Greg.
Comment from reconciled
this is exceptional....Hi Greg....-smile- don't think I've read you before....my loss. Remarkable word weaving a more truer tale never told. Ya know never was on a computer before I came here....learned how type here....lol....no shit. yea man with addicting power does that bright blue pull...never experienced anything like it. Alright....great read love Michael
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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this is exceptional....Hi Greg....-smile- don't think I've read you before....my loss. Remarkable word weaving a more truer tale never told. Ya know never was on a computer before I came here....learned how type here....lol....no shit. yea man with addicting power does that bright blue pull...never experienced anything like it. Alright....great read love Michael
Comment Written 27-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Ha that's amazing! Thank you so much for a wonderful review! I truly appreciate it. I love that you learned to type here! That's incredible. Lets follow eachother! Truly thank you.
Comment from michaelcahill
words can indeed describe and explain that as you have done right here. picking a winner here if taken seriously was a helluva tough task. so, I read all of these a couple days ago and waited to see which one I wanted to read again the most. That puts you up their with Tennyson. Well done. So, we know how these things go, right? At least you get one vote for sure, mikey
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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words can indeed describe and explain that as you have done right here. picking a winner here if taken seriously was a helluva tough task. so, I read all of these a couple days ago and waited to see which one I wanted to read again the most. That puts you up their with Tennyson. Well done. So, we know how these things go, right? At least you get one vote for sure, mikey
Comment Written 26-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Thank you Mikey! Yes I know how these go. Name recognition does a lot. I gotta tell you my friend, YOUR reviews keep me going. They fill me with much needed confidence, a confidence I lack at times. You literally bring a smile to my face each time. You seem to get my writing and it means so very much. It seems like you like it, like you think I have something. I'm humbly, absolutely grateful, from my heart Mikey. Thank you.
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I tried to nominate you! It saidi didn't have any. You get all my votes next time. You are just the best. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.
Comment from IndianaIrish
Outstanstanding poetry, Greg. The power of the emotion and the images you give with your amazing words, are truly exceptional. All writers have times of vacant screens, or blank paper, or a mind empty of ideas. But those times usually pass, and wow...look what it did for you! I think when life overwhelms us, we need to minimize the big picture and focus instead on the small stuff ... the little things in our lives that we seem to overlook because the big thing's shadow tends to make us forget them.
Gosh, how I love your poetry, Greg.
Smiles always,
Karyn : )
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Outstanstanding poetry, Greg. The power of the emotion and the images you give with your amazing words, are truly exceptional. All writers have times of vacant screens, or blank paper, or a mind empty of ideas. But those times usually pass, and wow...look what it did for you! I think when life overwhelms us, we need to minimize the big picture and focus instead on the small stuff ... the little things in our lives that we seem to overlook because the big thing's shadow tends to make us forget them.
Gosh, how I love your poetry, Greg.
Smiles always,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Wow Karyn. I'm always so happy when I see that you've reviewed my work. You give me so much confidence and make me feel like a "good" writer. I need to focus on the little things. The things I'm grateful for too. Not let all the huge stresses crush me. Everything will work out I know. Its just tough when you're in the trenches. I'm getting out though. This review made me smile. Thank you so so much. It really gives me confidence.
Comment from poesyapprentice
This write is absolutely heartbreaking! I had hoped for your sake that your struggle was easier than this now, but, so sadly, there are sometimes set-backs in healing which must be endured. My heart goes out to you yet again. I know it so very difficult when one has moved forward some only to by grabbed and pulled back in the pit. I don't see how anyone could read this piece and not feel all you have expressed with such mastery! (The originality of your imagery is outstanding!) I'm thankful you broke out of your trap to achieve an accomplishment of such magnitude because you were no longer living the void then and you created such a moving piece of poetry, but to write as you have done here you had to embrace all the evil within. Are you hearing me, sweetheart? You made a choice in that moment to take hold of it and breathe it. I'm not saying you shouldn't have you because perhaps you needed to do it to project it and find some modicum of relief. All I am asking is that you take a look and question for yourself what other choice could have been made which MIGHT have been better for you. Is your writing a source of healing with subject matters such as these here or is it keeping you locked longer in the room? Is your strongest desire to escape the agony or to express it with excellence? There's no question as to the quality of this poem for it is superb, nor is there any question that the greatest of art is often born of tremendous suffering! Only if you decide that writing of your pain is contradictory to your healing, then would I suggest for you to make a list of things you can do to redirect and uplift your mind and mood so that when the inability to count your blessings strikes you will have alternatives at hand. I'm preaching to the choir, my dear one, as it has been a rough couple of days for me as well due to the death of a friend. Your prayers would be welcomed. Many blessings to you! Light and Hugs!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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This write is absolutely heartbreaking! I had hoped for your sake that your struggle was easier than this now, but, so sadly, there are sometimes set-backs in healing which must be endured. My heart goes out to you yet again. I know it so very difficult when one has moved forward some only to by grabbed and pulled back in the pit. I don't see how anyone could read this piece and not feel all you have expressed with such mastery! (The originality of your imagery is outstanding!) I'm thankful you broke out of your trap to achieve an accomplishment of such magnitude because you were no longer living the void then and you created such a moving piece of poetry, but to write as you have done here you had to embrace all the evil within. Are you hearing me, sweetheart? You made a choice in that moment to take hold of it and breathe it. I'm not saying you shouldn't have you because perhaps you needed to do it to project it and find some modicum of relief. All I am asking is that you take a look and question for yourself what other choice could have been made which MIGHT have been better for you. Is your writing a source of healing with subject matters such as these here or is it keeping you locked longer in the room? Is your strongest desire to escape the agony or to express it with excellence? There's no question as to the quality of this poem for it is superb, nor is there any question that the greatest of art is often born of tremendous suffering! Only if you decide that writing of your pain is contradictory to your healing, then would I suggest for you to make a list of things you can do to redirect and uplift your mind and mood so that when the inability to count your blessings strikes you will have alternatives at hand. I'm preaching to the choir, my dear one, as it has been a rough couple of days for me as well due to the death of a friend. Your prayers would be welcomed. Many blessings to you! Light and Hugs!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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You know, its funny, I was thinking the same thing. Is writing about this, my feelings, helping or making me dwell on it? I honestly don't know. I wrote a naani poem on Hope you can read. That was uplifting. I'm just not sure. I can only write what I feel. Otherwise it comes out forced. I really appreciate your review and you caring. It means a lot. I just want to get better. This isn't living. Its tough. I'm getting better though. I know I am. Truly, thank you. Its hard to get on sometimes. You know how it is...
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I read some of your reviews for this piece and in your reply to one of them you said that you wrote this during a particular bad night and then you were able to sleep. If writing what you feel allows you to rest afterward then I can't see that as a bad thing. I just know that the longer we're stuck in misery the longer we're stuck in misery, know what I mean? I was once told to give myself a time limit to feel what I feel without regret-- dwell on it, write about it, wallow in it, whatever. Once that time was up, my thoughts were to be redirected (constantly if need be) to other things. Predetermine the amount of time and what you will do afterward. I wasn't to allow myself to sit idly in a funk zone after the time was up. I chose to end my time with positive visualization, to go to a happy place and dwell in it just as intently as I had my misery. You might also try laying down and closing your eyes and focus on relaxing each part of your body one section and a time, starting at your head, visualizing the tension draining away, downward until it leaves your feet. You've heard the saying what goes in is what comes out? Stress and negativity really have physical affects on our bodies as much as they do our minds. Just some food for thought, sweetie. Do you what feels right, not what's easiest. As I'm sure you know, they are hardly ever the same. I hope you have had a good day. Much love...
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Ps. I get what you mean about only being able to write what you feel. Dragonskulls has the ability to write amazing poetry without feeling it at all-- it is a challenge he enjoys and excels at-- but for me, it just isn't so. ONE of the things that I love most about your writing is that I know your heart is in it. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. xx
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I'm telling you, you are like a therapist. My therapist gave me the relaxation technique. I'm going to do that more. But, the time limit thing. That's good! Give myself a time limit to dwell, then on to positivity. Its just weird right now as my body is physically repairing itself from the medicine that has left. I did it though! I got off it. 18 days off it. I was so afraid and now I've done it! But it still hits me a little and the chemicals in my brain need to adjust and repair. So generally I'm depressed, sad. Its tough. I made a list, started to, of the things I'm grateful for. You are one of them. You really do help me. You make me happier. I'm struggling right now but your words, your check ins, help. I'm going to make it. I'm gonna beat this thing. Thank you. So much. For caring. Really. You are the best thing I've found here.
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Oh and I'd love to get your take on my new piece. It has a lot of me in it. Its a really important one. It is a bit longer and starts off sad, tough night, but ends with a positive realization. Makes me feel not so alone. It has a lot of me in it as I said.
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That means a lot to me. Gave me the chills. Seriously. You get me. My heart IS in it. Fully. I hope you read the one I just posted Sewn into the Sky. It is my most personal in a way. Really thank you for saying that. What I write is me. All of me.
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Hey, sweetheart! There is family everywhere, the funeral is today, and I had to do cooking for the lunch so it's a bit crazy here, but I am DEFINITELY interested in checking out the write you mentioned, and will as soon as I'm able, k, Sugar. I just popped in to read my comments/messages and now I have to run. Love you. Keep your head up! You're doing great!!! xxx
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Thank you so much. I hope you're doing okay? Ho have you been? I've been so wrapped up in this pain that I'm in. I'd like to know how you are. I had an epiphany in my last write
Sewn Into the Sky
I hope I can hold on to that.
Tell me how YOU are? I'd like to know. Your kids, family okay? Holding up? I'm so sorry for that loss. What happened exactly, out of nowhere?
Comment from Treischel
Fabulous imagery of depression - a busted marionette tossed within spinning concrete.
Another incredible metaphor - Toes pull in, as fingers would to crush a rotting plum,
Wonderful way with words that paint a vivid picture -
My heart trots along at the speed of a sprint,
unaware of the marathon starting ahead
When you get rolling, there's no one better -
A mist of sweat, mixed with tears, begins to quickly collect
into my shirt ~ a mosaic of wet patches sporadically surfaces
I watch each grow wide, like pupils to a candle gone cold .
Very powerful use of the refrain to drive home the emotion.
I've been to that place you are describing, many times. Somehow, the light eventually shines as you finally figure your way out of the maze.
What's going on in your life?
Hang in there. Every valley is surrounded by peaks and a path.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Fabulous imagery of depression - a busted marionette tossed within spinning concrete.
Another incredible metaphor - Toes pull in, as fingers would to crush a rotting plum,
Wonderful way with words that paint a vivid picture -
My heart trots along at the speed of a sprint,
unaware of the marathon starting ahead
When you get rolling, there's no one better -
A mist of sweat, mixed with tears, begins to quickly collect
into my shirt ~ a mosaic of wet patches sporadically surfaces
I watch each grow wide, like pupils to a candle gone cold .
Very powerful use of the refrain to drive home the emotion.
I've been to that place you are describing, many times. Somehow, the light eventually shines as you finally figure your way out of the maze.
What's going on in your life?
Hang in there. Every valley is surrounded by peaks and a path.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Thank you Tom truly. I'm just getting off medicine from the accident on my arm. I tapered off it all and it messes up the chemicals in our brain, brings you down. I'm just waiting for it to return to normal. I've suffered from major depression my whole life, inherited from my parents. So I know this feeling well. Its debilitating. I just keep pushing through, hoping the light will shine through again. The toughest part is over. I did it. I'm off it all. But the lingering effects, hurt.
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Good to hear. My wife is a manic depressive, inherited from her grandpa. I know all about getting on the drug adjustment roller coaster.
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Oh yes I'm sure you do then. They don't know if its Bipolar (manic depressive) or major depressive disorder. Bc I've never had the "highs" but I've experienced the severe "lows" five times before in my life. They are beyond horrible. Frightening. Below suicide if that makes sense. Fear drives everything in those episodes. So suicide is just too scary. Sorry to sound so blunt, its just that the topic of depression is important and those that suffer from it have a deep spot in my heart. Please tell your wife that she is not alone in it. Its a monster but it can be beaten. My goal in life is to get everyone a stronger set of ammo to defeat it. Not sure how I'm going to do it yet exactly, have ideas, but I'm going to try. God will guide me when I'm ready, when I'm "lacking nothing". I don't know the Bible at all but a verse came to me a while ago out of nowhere. It was like I was meant to hear it. James 1:1-12. It might help your wife too. Maybe share it with her?
Two of my best friends took their lives because of that monster that depression is. There needs to be more awareness. More focus to combat it. Sorry to go on like this, its just a strong topic for me and I hate knowing people suffer from it. I hate that your wife does. Its not her fault. My heart goes out to you both. As my wife can attest, its not easy on the spouse at all. God bless you and her. Truly.
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Thank you and I will read it to you.
Comment from ravenblack
Your imagery, as usual, is superb. A tough poem as I could really feel your pain. Really, to most it is unimaginable and I think, in crafting such strong images, those who Don't understand can get a more immediate sense of what it is like. You are doing a genuine service for all those who suffer from depression/anxiety/panic/ manic depression. " a mosaic of wet patches...Like pupils to a candle gone cold"- that one will stick with me. Very creative in that pupils dilate/ wet patches grow, the candle gone cold that brings the darkness that causes the dilation suggesting the feeling of an absence of hope.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Your imagery, as usual, is superb. A tough poem as I could really feel your pain. Really, to most it is unimaginable and I think, in crafting such strong images, those who Don't understand can get a more immediate sense of what it is like. You are doing a genuine service for all those who suffer from depression/anxiety/panic/ manic depression. " a mosaic of wet patches...Like pupils to a candle gone cold"- that one will stick with me. Very creative in that pupils dilate/ wet patches grow, the candle gone cold that brings the darkness that causes the dilation suggesting the feeling of an absence of hope.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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You got it spot on. Great interpretation. That was exactly what I was going for. Especially with the candle line. I'm so glad you got that. The feeling can be debilitating. I wrote it at 3 am just staring at my screen. Nothing. Its an awful feeling. Things are getting better. I think writing helps get it out. What do you think? Is I good to write about it or should I try and not think about it.
Thank you so so very much for this review. Really.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, gregory, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the vacancy that's found when hope is gone and happiness can't be found
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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this is very well written, gregory, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the vacancy that's found when hope is gone and happiness can't be found
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much. Yeah that feeling is tough.
Comment from 9999pool
When and why the heart feels sad and laden, we can give a thousand and one reasons and on a similar scale how may thousands of reasons to make us happy.
It is not that there were no happy answers to our questions - it's just that we choose to close our minds and let it slipped into the dark abyss.
We have to snap out of it - to get up and walk and exercise, make a cup of drink, and wipe away the seat beads on the forehead.
At times like this, take a walk even if you don't want to - at least look outside the window and write down what we have seen. I tried and my written list got so long i gave up eventually and fall asleep on the chair. I was just trying to see how many creations man and God made and I must be mad to do this exercise, lol! This gave me a sense of vastness and space in the world we lived in.
To be able to write about this feeling of despair and hopelessness - meant not all is lost for we still realized what we are going through and not entirely blank as paper in our minds as we have envisaged.
Excellent write and brilliantly penned.
Cheerio, smiles, bro Ritchie. :)).
Blessings and prayers for you.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
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When and why the heart feels sad and laden, we can give a thousand and one reasons and on a similar scale how may thousands of reasons to make us happy.
It is not that there were no happy answers to our questions - it's just that we choose to close our minds and let it slipped into the dark abyss.
We have to snap out of it - to get up and walk and exercise, make a cup of drink, and wipe away the seat beads on the forehead.
At times like this, take a walk even if you don't want to - at least look outside the window and write down what we have seen. I tried and my written list got so long i gave up eventually and fall asleep on the chair. I was just trying to see how many creations man and God made and I must be mad to do this exercise, lol! This gave me a sense of vastness and space in the world we lived in.
To be able to write about this feeling of despair and hopelessness - meant not all is lost for we still realized what we are going through and not entirely blank as paper in our minds as we have envisaged.
Excellent write and brilliantly penned.
Cheerio, smiles, bro Ritchie. :)).
Blessings and prayers for you.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
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You know what. That's a great idea. I'm going to do that now. I'm grabbing a piece of paper as we speak. Really. I'm going to point out everything I notice. Sometimes the pain gets so severe it can be blinding. But the mind is a powerful thing. I'm armed with the blood of Jesus, I can get through anything. God is protecting me. I'm going through this for a greater good. All I want to do, even when I was at my worst I said this, all I want to do is beat this so that I can shield someone less strong from it. I've been preparing my whole life for this fight. I can beat it. And when I do, I'll go out of my way to be thee for anyone who needs my hand.
Thank you, thank you for this six. Im just blown away. And humbled. I wrote it in a dark place late at night. Thank you for reading it. For this review. For this idea. For everything. I'm grabbing the paper now...truly thank you.
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Hi Gregory,
The pain can be very bad and it is pointless to keep saying it's okay but to keep our minds busy or listening to music can actually help the brain waves to adjust to the pain sensations and block the neurons of our nerve's pain.
If you were to note down every little bit of details in microscopic proportions, just even your room alone, you will take a lifetime to complete this check list.
Let me know your results - should be an interesting challenge to you.
And after the list is half done, write a poem of what went through your mind when you did this exercise (supposedly simple but very, very complex in nature, smiles).
Cheerio, good luck to the check list, Blessings, Ritchie. ;)0
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I'm on it!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh Gregory, this is heartbreaking, truly - you've written pure anguish, and for anyone who has ever been there, it tears at deepest part of our souls. What an amazing and exceptional free verse!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
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Oh Gregory, this is heartbreaking, truly - you've written pure anguish, and for anyone who has ever been there, it tears at deepest part of our souls. What an amazing and exceptional free verse!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
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Thank you! I'm so happy and grateful. Its been tough. Just staring. Its heart wrenching. Its almost as if I wish I could cry because at least that would be release, an emotion. There are good times and bad though. I'm getting off this opiate tapering medicine for my arm so I know its the chemicals in my brain. Logically I know I'll be okay. Just tough. Scary. It feels nice to be able to share though. With someone who cares. I really appreciate it. Truly. I'm getting better. The late nights just get tough. Thank you for this. It really does make me feel like I just might have a talent for this as I said.
