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Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "When Pain Controls the Brain"Personal poems
26 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
god woundn't turn his back to anyhthing altouhgh it feels surreal! i'm sorry to hear about your pain!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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god woundn't turn his back to anyhthing altouhgh it feels surreal! i'm sorry to hear about your pain!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you Rebekka.
Comment from Liandra
You have written these words of pain beautifully. It is a circle that has no end and no beginning and yet it is all consuming.
Your poem is perfect in my eyes.
Liandra
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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You have written these words of pain beautifully. It is a circle that has no end and no beginning and yet it is all consuming.
Your poem is perfect in my eyes.
Liandra
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much Liandra. I really appreciate the bestowal of all those stars.
Comment from barrieblakeway
You have been there Brother! I would not felt the depth of what you said as I am 80 and did not know pain. Recently I tore my soulder lifting the impossible and joined the pain ranks.
Hope all is brighter for you
bye
baz
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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You have been there Brother! I would not felt the depth of what you said as I am 80 and did not know pain. Recently I tore my soulder lifting the impossible and joined the pain ranks.
Hope all is brighter for you
bye
baz
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Thank you baz.
Comment from rama devi
Excellent. Having experienced bout of chronic pain, i feel for you and your wife. The poem must have felt cathartic to write.
The opening stanza is superb:
When chronic pain controls the brain,
The searing days become ordeals,
While night provides relief from strains,
Just fleeting gains the body feels.
Superb internal rhyme in line one. Excellent alliteration and consonance; fine rhyming; good flow.
As a repeating line, this works splendidly:
The searing days become ordeals.
The consonance of S and D work very well.
* This comma is not accurate or necessary:
And many prayers, that pain might ease.
Nice internal rhyme with ease and pleas:
And many prayers, that pain might ease,
With pleas to God 'bout suffering sins.
But patience 'til it all begins,
While night provides relief from strains,
With pleas to God 'bout suffering sins,
When chronic pain controls the brain.
Good alliteration on P, S, B and C.
Very striking presentation with chosen artwork.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Excellent. Having experienced bout of chronic pain, i feel for you and your wife. The poem must have felt cathartic to write.
The opening stanza is superb:
When chronic pain controls the brain,
The searing days become ordeals,
While night provides relief from strains,
Just fleeting gains the body feels.
Superb internal rhyme in line one. Excellent alliteration and consonance; fine rhyming; good flow.
As a repeating line, this works splendidly:
The searing days become ordeals.
The consonance of S and D work very well.
* This comma is not accurate or necessary:
And many prayers, that pain might ease.
Nice internal rhyme with ease and pleas:
And many prayers, that pain might ease,
With pleas to God 'bout suffering sins.
But patience 'til it all begins,
While night provides relief from strains,
With pleas to God 'bout suffering sins,
When chronic pain controls the brain.
Good alliteration on P, S, B and C.
Very striking presentation with chosen artwork.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 10-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much Rama Devi, for a very detailed and excellent review.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Your use of such a pretty poetic form to describe the chronic pain is very poignant, Tom.
And many prayers, that pain might ease .. this, and the one that follows, are touching lines.
I'm glad I got to this - you and Mrs. Tom are going to be on my daily prayer list.
Good night, friend. God be with you in this valley.
Love,
Sonali xx
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Your use of such a pretty poetic form to describe the chronic pain is very poignant, Tom.
And many prayers, that pain might ease .. this, and the one that follows, are touching lines.
I'm glad I got to this - you and Mrs. Tom are going to be on my daily prayer list.
Good night, friend. God be with you in this valley.
Love,
Sonali xx
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Thank you Sonali. She is doing well.
Comment from marycec
This pantoum works well with your choice of subject matter. I am sorry for your wife's suffering and yours. It is true that when we are in chronic pain it is hard to concentrate on anything else.the line 'but patience' 'til it all begins ' is the only remedy.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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This pantoum works well with your choice of subject matter. I am sorry for your wife's suffering and yours. It is true that when we are in chronic pain it is hard to concentrate on anything else.the line 'but patience' 'til it all begins ' is the only remedy.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Thank you Mary. spoken like one whose been there.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Really sorry to hear of your suffering and especially your wife's unbearable pain. It is really hard to think and I get very grouchy when in pain. I will pray hard that the surgery is the answer for her. Rox
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Really sorry to hear of your suffering and especially your wife's unbearable pain. It is really hard to think and I get very grouchy when in pain. I will pray hard that the surgery is the answer for her. Rox
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Thank you Rox, that is very comforting to know.
Comment from 9999pool
Great Pantoum.
Pain and suffering grip all of us. Some gets more while others less. We can fire a mountain of questions to God but he shall remain silent as he cannot break his own vow of revelation until Judgement day. if there is any compensation, does it mean that those who suffered more will have more to gain from His kingdom.
If so, are we willing to partake take challenge of perseverance and stamina to get through those pain. i do not have the answers but neither does anyone.
The only reality is to find a remedy to lessen the pain and with prayers daily asking for salvation away from the pain. Life was never meant to be painless. That became a reality that cannot be denied. :((.
Cheerio, excellent write and well expressed the feelings and trauma of pain in life.
Cheerio, keep smiling, be glad it is not at its worst yet.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Great Pantoum.
Pain and suffering grip all of us. Some gets more while others less. We can fire a mountain of questions to God but he shall remain silent as he cannot break his own vow of revelation until Judgement day. if there is any compensation, does it mean that those who suffered more will have more to gain from His kingdom.
If so, are we willing to partake take challenge of perseverance and stamina to get through those pain. i do not have the answers but neither does anyone.
The only reality is to find a remedy to lessen the pain and with prayers daily asking for salvation away from the pain. Life was never meant to be painless. That became a reality that cannot be denied. :((.
Cheerio, excellent write and well expressed the feelings and trauma of pain in life.
Cheerio, keep smiling, be glad it is not at its worst yet.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Thank you Ritchie. As usual, you words cantain great wisdom. I appreciate all you have said.
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Hi Tom,
God knows what he is doing (I do hope) but we cannot be let down.
Life continues unabated and there are other at the hospice waiting to do their time. So who is less fortunate, smiles.
Cheerio, do persevere and my prayers are with you and Kathy.
Best wishes, Ritchie. :))
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You have chosen a really good illustration to show the pain you both suffer, Tom. You say you have had to operations on your back, did it help? Is this the first operation for your wife? I really feel for both of you, knowing how awful back pain can be, you describe it well. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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You have chosen a really good illustration to show the pain you both suffer, Tom. You say you have had to operations on your back, did it help? Is this the first operation for your wife? I really feel for both of you, knowing how awful back pain can be, you describe it well. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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My worked immediately. Although the second one took a while to recover from. This is the second one for her. Same operation, SI joint fusion, but different doctor with a different approach.
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I will pray it works completely for her this time. So many new things are being learned everyday. New doctor...It could be just right. Hugs all round. xsx
Comment from NicciFaye
A strong and awakening poem that lets this reader know the ongoing battle with back pains. My husband also experiences back pains as well, and he looks as he's always in perfect condition. I know his is from years of acting like he was spider man in his youth. I can understand how pain would cause someone to ask questions like that. Powerful poem.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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A strong and awakening poem that lets this reader know the ongoing battle with back pains. My husband also experiences back pains as well, and he looks as he's always in perfect condition. I know his is from years of acting like he was spider man in his youth. I can understand how pain would cause someone to ask questions like that. Powerful poem.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2013
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Thank you Nicci. I smiled at your spiderman description.
