Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 82 "Across the Floor"Small and Specialty Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing the tango poem--I was unfamiliar with the concept. You added the perfect artwork as well. I like the way your format and rhymes mimic the dance patterns. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you for sharing the tango poem--I was unfamiliar with the concept. You added the perfect artwork as well. I like the way your format and rhymes mimic the dance patterns. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 21-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you Joan. I appreciate your comments. If you Google Tango poems you'll see there are many ways to do it.
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Thanks for the tip. Happy Sunday- Joan
Comment from 9999pool
A great description of the lurid steps and the flaming flamingo style dance that can make two lovers danced their passion out.
Sexy and with the 'C'mon' look in their eyes, they do tantalized each other physically and psychologically.
Great write and well penned a dance steps of tango on the go!
Cheerio, Ritchie. :)).
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2013
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A great description of the lurid steps and the flaming flamingo style dance that can make two lovers danced their passion out.
Sexy and with the 'C'mon' look in their eyes, they do tantalized each other physically and psychologically.
Great write and well penned a dance steps of tango on the go!
Cheerio, Ritchie. :)).
Comment Written 21-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much Ritchie, yes, you captured its flair.
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Welcome Tom,
Cheerio, Ritchie :))
Have a great morning and day!
Comment from adewpearl
Good use of abcb rhyming with the d lines all rhyming with each other
I particularly like the descriptive detail in the final stanza with that list that begins with florid dip... :-) You capture the spirit of the tango perfectly Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2013
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Good use of abcb rhyming with the d lines all rhyming with each other
I particularly like the descriptive detail in the final stanza with that list that begins with florid dip... :-) You capture the spirit of the tango perfectly Brooke
Comment Written 21-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2013
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Thank you Brooke.
Comment from CornishChick
Ok Tom, gotta offer my first negative note of critique. You KNOW I love your stuff and you know I'm no poet. BUT.....
somehow the last line of the poem doesn't flow. Love the rest of it. I think it's the word "suddenly." In prose writing, adverbs are passive and oftentimes unnecessary. I wonder if another line would stop the Tango w/ a bigger bang. Hope that made some sense to you!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Ok Tom, gotta offer my first negative note of critique. You KNOW I love your stuff and you know I'm no poet. BUT.....
somehow the last line of the poem doesn't flow. Love the rest of it. I think it's the word "suddenly." In prose writing, adverbs are passive and oftentimes unnecessary. I wonder if another line would stop the Tango w/ a bigger bang. Hope that made some sense to you!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Hmm! I guess you can't win them all. Actually I was looking for a good word to end with, and I thought og Ole! Or Voila! But I'm not familiar enough with Argentina to come up with the right expression.
Comment from tedanytime
These words convey much of the fiery emotion of the tango:
"A florid dip
Coquettish push
Then fiery twirls
A rapid rush
Just as suddenly, Tango is complete "
Reader appreciates the lines.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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These words convey much of the fiery emotion of the tango:
"A florid dip
Coquettish push
Then fiery twirls
A rapid rush
Just as suddenly, Tango is complete "
Reader appreciates the lines.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you tedanytime.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Hand on shoulder
Foreheads touch
Eyeball to eyeball
They tightly clutch
And then, they Tango to that Latin beat
Across the floor
As one, embraced
Alternating steps
As heartbeats race
And dance, bodies exuding Latin heat (exude Latino heat)
A florid dip LOVE florid dip/Coquettish push
Coquettish push
Then fiery twirls
A rapid rush
Just as suddenly, Tango is complete
Spicy, sexy and full of exuberance. Well done.
Regards:
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Hand on shoulder
Foreheads touch
Eyeball to eyeball
They tightly clutch
And then, they Tango to that Latin beat
Across the floor
As one, embraced
Alternating steps
As heartbeats race
And dance, bodies exuding Latin heat (exude Latino heat)
A florid dip LOVE florid dip/Coquettish push
Coquettish push
Then fiery twirls
A rapid rush
Just as suddenly, Tango is complete
Spicy, sexy and full of exuberance. Well done.
Regards:
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Thank you Stephen. Glad you likes it.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
This is an excellent tango poem. I could feel the beat and then the heat. It was quite a treat with the rhyme so neat.
I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Hi, Treischel,
This is an excellent tango poem. I could feel the beat and then the heat. It was quite a treat with the rhyme so neat.
I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Thanks you Preston. Nice poetic review.
Comment from ravenblack
You do capture the tanto in your impressions/ images in each stanza. Think this would be a lot stronger is you focused on the Latin beat, make the rhythm of the piece communicate the fiery passion of the dance.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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You do capture the tanto in your impressions/ images in each stanza. Think this would be a lot stronger is you focused on the Latin beat, make the rhythm of the piece communicate the fiery passion of the dance.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Thanks ravenblack. I'll work on that. Care to try one?
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Considering I know practically nothing about dance and stomp around as if having two left feet- probably not.
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Considering I know practically nothing about dance and stomp around as if having two left feet- probably not.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A very well written Tango poem.
It certainly complies with the guidelines you have stated for this poetry style.
It definitely portrays the essence of the dance in its chosen words.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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A very well written Tango poem.
It certainly complies with the guidelines you have stated for this poetry style.
It definitely portrays the essence of the dance in its chosen words.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Thank you Shirley. Yes, I tried to give it that feel.
Comment from sunnilicious
That is a super adorable idea. Great artwork. It is so bright, inviting and very loving. The poem is creatively laid out. Funny and romantic. Great visual imageries pulled together to teach others how to tango. Bravo!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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That is a super adorable idea. Great artwork. It is so bright, inviting and very loving. The poem is creatively laid out. Funny and romantic. Great visual imageries pulled together to teach others how to tango. Bravo!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Thank you sunnilicious.. Wish is could dance like that.
