First Kiss
First Kiss at the cafe27 total reviews
Comment from PoesyPoet
I could appreciate this little ditty. It sounds, however, that instead of with his lips, he tried to kiss his girl with coffee. ALSO, try's should be tries. Good luck in the contest. PP
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I could appreciate this little ditty. It sounds, however, that instead of with his lips, he tried to kiss his girl with coffee. ALSO, try's should be tries. Good luck in the contest. PP
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
Comment from zacplatt
I really liked this
I think it needs very little work but overall its so good. Good job, work on the last line also the title and formation of this poem.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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I really liked this
I think it needs very little work but overall its so good. Good job, work on the last line also the title and formation of this poem.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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thanks zac
Comment from russelcrocker
Wow very well done,
I rather didn't like the title nor the line placement but overall its a great poem, needs a little work but still its wonderfully written.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Wow very well done,
I rather didn't like the title nor the line placement but overall its a great poem, needs a little work but still its wonderfully written.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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why thank you russel
Comment from w.j.debi
Contemplative thoughts that are slowly awakening... of hope and wonder and dreams...and risk taking... Yes, I like it. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Contemplative thoughts that are slowly awakening... of hope and wonder and dreams...and risk taking... Yes, I like it. Keep writing.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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thank you so very much
Comment from livelylinda
swandrh, If this is really an entry for a 5/7/5 poetry contest, you can't possibly win. Not only is the poem itself rather confusing, you have not written it in the required style of 5/7/5. You might want to rethink this.
livelylinda
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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swandrh, If this is really an entry for a 5/7/5 poetry contest, you can't possibly win. Not only is the poem itself rather confusing, you have not written it in the required style of 5/7/5. You might want to rethink this.
livelylinda
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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change it
Comment from barleygirl
Unusual & unpredictable poem, showing some type of mental or emotional turmoil, then a final question that reveals a sense of uncertainty & maybe even a lack of confidence. Since the poem seems to be rather "open-ended", this is only one of many interpretations, I'm sure! *smile*
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Unusual & unpredictable poem, showing some type of mental or emotional turmoil, then a final question that reveals a sense of uncertainty & maybe even a lack of confidence. Since the poem seems to be rather "open-ended", this is only one of many interpretations, I'm sure! *smile*
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
Comment from Janet Foor
Sweet poem but it's not a 5/7/5 poem which would have three lines. The first line with five syllables, the second with seven and the last line with five again. It can have more than one stanza but each stanza will have the required lines and syllable count.
The message is good and please keep writing.
Blessings
Janet
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Sweet poem but it's not a 5/7/5 poem which would have three lines. The first line with five syllables, the second with seven and the last line with five again. It can have more than one stanza but each stanza will have the required lines and syllable count.
The message is good and please keep writing.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
Comment from maduechesi
hahahahahahahaha. Yes, i like you swandrh. This is a nice poem with good imagery work especially at the second stanza. Nice work
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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hahahahahahahaha. Yes, i like you swandrh. This is a nice poem with good imagery work especially at the second stanza. Nice work
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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thank you so very much
Comment from rick27
Amazing simplicity within this poem, I rather didn't like the title but maybe it had been spelled wrong and it should of been called Untitled.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Amazing simplicity within this poem, I rather didn't like the title but maybe it had been spelled wrong and it should of been called Untitled.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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thank you
Comment from lyriclahaye
Love this poem, its so very good. The imagine of it all is amazing, very good. The only think I didn't like about it was the title but other then that is very good.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Love this poem, its so very good. The imagine of it all is amazing, very good. The only think I didn't like about it was the title but other then that is very good.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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thank you so much, your comment is so very kind
