Pray for Our Earth
the world 1000 years from now16 total reviews
Comment from I.T creatives
Excellent in vision and scope, but a bit flat in places.
It does however address mankind's greatest ignorance
about, the environment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Excellent in vision and scope, but a bit flat in places.
It does however address mankind's greatest ignorance
about, the environment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Here's the interesting thing. This is a contest winner--first place and despite your uninformed opinion as to how the site advises readers to grade posted work, you are a standard member who has likely joined today and therefore I will not discuss any aspect of my story and writing with you.
Should you intend to loiter here without paying the membership or post your own stories for comparison, at the very least I'd advise you to go to the FAQ and bone up on the standards used on FS.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Vivid images of a place in time and a life or existence that is less fairytale or fictional than once believed. Great job!
Thanks, for a great read!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Vivid images of a place in time and a life or existence that is less fairytale or fictional than once believed. Great job!
Thanks, for a great read!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for saying so.
Comment from Ekim777
Your creation of a divergent is intriguing enough why have you denigrated mankind despite his flaws he is the acme of creation, a reflection of a supreme power and ordained to be the guardians of the universe. I don't think you have handled the concept of God, adequately but more importantly, you have deformed life and not confronted the one, unanswerable question; what lies on the others side of life, meaning death? Let me add that if there is no more need for God, we must reinvent him in ourselves. Meanwhile there needs to be realism even science fiction. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Your creation of a divergent is intriguing enough why have you denigrated mankind despite his flaws he is the acme of creation, a reflection of a supreme power and ordained to be the guardians of the universe. I don't think you have handled the concept of God, adequately but more importantly, you have deformed life and not confronted the one, unanswerable question; what lies on the others side of life, meaning death? Let me add that if there is no more need for God, we must reinvent him in ourselves. Meanwhile there needs to be realism even science fiction. -Ekim777
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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It is no secret to this site that you are a devout Christian. You have also reviewed well and fairly.
Now, while I am not a fan of science fiction, I took a whirl at this prompt nonetheless. I felt the need to address God in all this, but I did not choose to make it a central theme.
I am probably one of the few in this contest that even acknowledged His part in our world today.
I hoped to infer that humanity had turned to idolatry as a form of worship, dismissing their eternal souls for body parts and 'human' existence.
If your rating is based on my writing skills or an abundance of spag, I would appreciate more detail. If it is because you felt that I needed to make God a bigger part of my story, then I will attribute that to your personal beliefs.
Thank you for taking the time.
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Every creative piece stands on its own and every review is a subjective response to it. We cannot separate technique from content in a creative work. Civilizations come and go but humanity carries on. In that there is hope. I felt your piece lacked a faith in humanity. We cannot be sure that God comes into the equation. -Ekim777
Comment from michaelcahill
wow. this is a remarkably inventive story. the astonishing complexity is only surpassed by the surprising clarity and smooth flow and ease of understanding. amazing. glad I got to the voting booth in time. mike
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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wow. this is a remarkably inventive story. the astonishing complexity is only surpassed by the surprising clarity and smooth flow and ease of understanding. amazing. glad I got to the voting booth in time. mike
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks for reading. Sci Fi is always a challenging walk between the possible and improbable.
Comment from DALLAS01
What the hell kind drugs are you on to conjure up such an in depth science fiction gem. I used to love watching Science fiction but never enjoyed reading it. This was an exception. Need to find a market for this one.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
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What the hell kind drugs are you on to conjure up such an in depth science fiction gem. I used to love watching Science fiction but never enjoyed reading it. This was an exception. Need to find a market for this one.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
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What's truly funny--I'm not kidding--I don't like sci-fi very much either. I was staring at the prompt and thinking how absurd, I don't even know what next week will look like. Then for lack of entertainment, I started.
Now truthfully a very long time ago I wrote a story about a boy who was nothing but a brain who was shifted into puberty and had a 'nervous' breakdown when his careful world of numbers and formulas was polluted by feelings and I think there may have been seeds left in my brain that spilled over, but its hard to take myself seriously when I write so far outside of my genre... you see, Miss Alice-Dallas, we have so much in common. When you venture into prose you surpeise yourself and I went into a fantasy world. Maybe next week I'll try erotica...lol
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Ingrid. I think you've done a wonderful job on this story. I am generally not in to Fantasy, however, with your fertile imagination and storytelling voice...it was easy to read. I wish you luck in the contest , of course.
One suggestion, if you don't mind:
It's always good to start any story and or chapter with a great "hook"as you know. I think in this case this would have been a better hook, and then build on after that
"We are a population of Androids."
Best of luck, Ingrid. Bob
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
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Hi, Ingrid. I think you've done a wonderful job on this story. I am generally not in to Fantasy, however, with your fertile imagination and storytelling voice...it was easy to read. I wish you luck in the contest , of course.
One suggestion, if you don't mind:
It's always good to start any story and or chapter with a great "hook"as you know. I think in this case this would have been a better hook, and then build on after that
"We are a population of Androids."
Best of luck, Ingrid. Bob
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
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You are exactly right, Maestro. And by the way, maestro, I'm not a fan of sci-di either....it was just there one day, the prompt, taunting me...bet you can't. Thanks for all the glitter.
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LOL...I bet I can't either...I am too near-sighted. Bob (you deserved my last six btw)
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Ingrid,
what a wonderfully written futuristic account... Sounds very much like you know something, do you? Cause I could use a bit of that metal to replenish some worn out parts.i thought I was watching a Terminator movie or something very similar... And I am damn sure it would make a great movie, if expanded... Seven lines from the bottom of the page you have left out an 'O' in another... One disaster followed anther as mountains heaved....but My friend I found this totally entertaining to the point of please write some more of this story... For me, one of the best stories I read on here in this format... Only a couple of words to say to you really... Bloody great!!!
Good luck in this contest,but someone is going to have to pull a rabbit out of a hat to do this story!
Kindest respect,
James xx
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
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Hi Ingrid,
what a wonderfully written futuristic account... Sounds very much like you know something, do you? Cause I could use a bit of that metal to replenish some worn out parts.i thought I was watching a Terminator movie or something very similar... And I am damn sure it would make a great movie, if expanded... Seven lines from the bottom of the page you have left out an 'O' in another... One disaster followed anther as mountains heaved....but My friend I found this totally entertaining to the point of please write some more of this story... For me, one of the best stories I read on here in this format... Only a couple of words to say to you really... Bloody great!!!
Good luck in this contest,but someone is going to have to pull a rabbit out of a hat to do this story!
Kindest respect,
James xx
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
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do you know what? This is a classic example of a situation where I went way out of my usual 'comfy' place and wrote a sci-fi piece. I rarely read them and shudder when I see titles that include zombies or vampires (trust me, not from fear) but the prompt was out there and the entry fee was steep $10, so I figured, watching my FS account dwindle, that I'd probably lose, but why not go for broke?
When I finished it, I had to admit, it was just fine, but got a little flack form someone who thought I was too pessimistic. Hey, that's my specialty.
But it only goes to show you, that we can walk on paths we don't find familiar, something I sincerely would like to see from you.
My feeling is that you have really done some deep-gut exploring in your life and your insights are profound and so moving that they belong in prose. I have no doubt that you'll achieve great success as a poet and I'm pretty certain you've attracted a lot of attention with your poetry, but there's always more to the story than a few stanzas will permit.
It's unlikely I'd continue the story. My critic was right. It's too damn depressing. I'd rather write (and I have deliberately) write a blatant essay that will stir up people and erupt into full-fledged controversy. I'll admit it to you. When I get in those moods I laugh for hours at the responses. Hugs, ingrid
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PESSIMISTIC MY ARSE! maybe they just fear the way there world is going... but you could take that story just about anywhere with the tentacles you laid out, especially the part about your seed creating the other human race... that imagination plus... so I'm damned happy you chose to jump outside your comfy zone... I stand by my opinion... it rocked, And thank you so much for your encouragement and your kind comments... maybe one day, I will do something profound,one can only live in hope.
And I love those moods you get in, I look forward to allowing my cheeks to ache with the smile that it puts of my face.
Hugs and respect right back at you, James xx
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Bloody hell. Talk about a diverse talent. From boobies to sci-fi. I'm really tired this morning - got a tummy bug and I was up until 3:30 am wearing a path to the bathroom door. I'm going to read this again when my eyes don't feel like they have weights on them. There's a lot of detail in this - tons of imagination. I love it and would like to explore it with a more clear head.
You never fail to surprise me.
Av
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Bloody hell. Talk about a diverse talent. From boobies to sci-fi. I'm really tired this morning - got a tummy bug and I was up until 3:30 am wearing a path to the bathroom door. I'm going to read this again when my eyes don't feel like they have weights on them. There's a lot of detail in this - tons of imagination. I love it and would like to explore it with a more clear head.
You never fail to surprise me.
Av
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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I think the only real genre (besides poetry) that I'm certain I suck at is romance---think I'd do fine with porn...LOL. Sci-fi isn't my favourite but my FS account is dwindling and this contest had a $10 entry, so I score big or oh well..
Sorry about your tummy and lack of sleep...I'm one of those that if I get more than five hours I feel I'm blessed.
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Er, I beg to differ. The story you wrote about ...oh, God... the names escape me - the woman with the cancer and her husband. There were some amazingly romantic parts in that, as there were in your autobiography.
Erotica? I want to do an erotica book, but one that tells a good story and isn't just about, well, erotica! LOL! I already have an idea for it, and it's set in my favourite epoch, which is, of course, the middle ages. Maybe next year. :D
Get you with yours, will you? I'd like to read that. Could do with a bit of spice in my life these days.
xx
Comment from Winslow
Dear Echo,
Quite imaginative but disturbing. It is a very pessimistic view of what may happen in a thousand years. You write in an entertaining, active style.
Good luck in the contest.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Dear Echo,
Quite imaginative but disturbing. It is a very pessimistic view of what may happen in a thousand years. You write in an entertaining, active style.
Good luck in the contest.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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It could indeed be a very dark time.
Don't you believe that stories that are tragic are more memorable than 'happily after' stories? It's been my experience that that's true.
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Dear Echo,
That is true, although this is very dark. Perhaps a tad more optimistic? I really enjoyed reading Isaac Asimov who writes memorably but very positive.
Regards,
Winslow
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Spiritual Echo,
You have a superb way of describing the future 1000 years from now. Pray for our Earth is well written using great detail to show a picture of life in the future.
Well done.
Best of luck with the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hi Spiritual Echo,
You have a superb way of describing the future 1000 years from now. Pray for our Earth is well written using great detail to show a picture of life in the future.
Well done.
Best of luck with the contest.
Bye
Rosalyne
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for your generous review and the bouquet of stars.
