Skinny Dipping
Don't go skinny dipping with the sea creatures34 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Excellent use of the form :-) Great meter and a fun story..and the form restrictions didn't intrude at all!!!
Nice job!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
  |
Excellent use of the form :-) Great meter and a fun story..and the form restrictions didn't intrude at all!!!
Nice job!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
-
THank you so much for the great review. I glad you found in fun. It was fun to write.
:)
Comment from Leen1
Ignorant of this type of poetry style I had no clue as to how it is suppose to be presented. Thank you for giving me a wonderful example of this style at it's best. I've truly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
 |
Ignorant of this type of poetry style I had no clue as to how it is suppose to be presented. Thank you for giving me a wonderful example of this style at it's best. I've truly enjoyed.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
-
Thank you so much for the great review and six stars. I think the style is fairly new and known only to FanStory. It is similar to Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven". I'm so glad you enjoyed this.
Comment from RYME4U
Excellent. I liked this.The rhythm is great and done in perfect "Gertrude" form. The picture is eye catching to say the least, Story is well told and the rhymes are clever.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
|
Excellent. I liked this.The rhythm is great and done in perfect "Gertrude" form. The picture is eye catching to say the least, Story is well told and the rhymes are clever.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
-
Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm sorry it is off the active list. I'd like it to reward those who choose to read it. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from Sally Carter
Haha, I love this one. What a fun rhythm to write and read, and a delightful story into the bargain. I've just seen this is an entry into the "Gertrude" contest, and have no idea wheat a Gertrude poem is - except this must be one! I shall go and have a further read of the contest rules in a minute.
My only tiny issue is with the line about no-one volunteering to pay your bail. I think you need to remove the word "has" to keep the meter right. Only a tiny tweak.
A great pleasure, and I wish you well in the contest.
Yours,
Sally
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
|
Haha, I love this one. What a fun rhythm to write and read, and a delightful story into the bargain. I've just seen this is an entry into the "Gertrude" contest, and have no idea wheat a Gertrude poem is - except this must be one! I shall go and have a further read of the contest rules in a minute.
My only tiny issue is with the line about no-one volunteering to pay your bail. I think you need to remove the word "has" to keep the meter right. Only a tiny tweak.
A great pleasure, and I wish you well in the contest.
Yours,
Sally
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
-
Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. I'm so glad you like it. The syllable count for these poems is 88-8-11. The has is in there for the extra syllable but I oculd take it out and let the first word be "because" instead of "'cause". Maybe that would work better. Thanks for the suggestion.
:)
-
Perhaps I was reading it wrong first time, in which case my apologies. I just re-read it, and whatever you did it now sounds absolutely perfect. I'm too late to try one of these in time, but I hope this form surfaces again before too long.
Best wishes
Sally
Comment from Samuel Dickens
I may have said before that I know almost nothing about poetry, so I take this the way it seems--a whimsical story about a skinny-dipper. Having skinny-dipped (in my youth) in fresh water streams and lakes, I know about the nipping, but in salt water--no way!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
|
I may have said before that I know almost nothing about poetry, so I take this the way it seems--a whimsical story about a skinny-dipper. Having skinny-dipped (in my youth) in fresh water streams and lakes, I know about the nipping, but in salt water--no way!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
-
THanks for the review Samuel. The contest called for that rhythm for the poem and humorous seemed the way to go for me. It was just a fun write, and I didn't much worry about what was doing the nipping. Actually I've had some kind of little fish nip at my ankles in the salty sea water of gulf. Someone pointed out that if it was a shark it would not be a nip but a big bite taken out and maybe blood streaming as well as water.
Comment from strandregs
bravo! excellent job. got stuck for a while on:
since no one has volunteered to pay my bail.
but, I guess it can be voaclly manipulated to the correct effect.
excellent story line, with humour ,true to someone's life I'm sure.
and a belting rhythm.Z.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
|
bravo! excellent job. got stuck for a while on:
since no one has volunteered to pay my bail.
but, I guess it can be voaclly manipulated to the correct effect.
excellent story line, with humour ,true to someone's life I'm sure.
and a belting rhythm.Z.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
-
Thank you so much for the lovely six star review. I'm glad you enjoyed the humor here. It was fun to write. You enthusiastic comment are very much appreciated.
:)
Comment from kiwisteveh
Isn't it funny how this rhythm seems so suited for mildly ridiculous poems.
I had a lot of fun reading your poem, as you no doubt did writing it.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
|
Isn't it funny how this rhythm seems so suited for mildly ridiculous poems.
I had a lot of fun reading your poem, as you no doubt did writing it.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 25-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
-
Steve, thank you so much for the six star review on Skinny Dipping. I can't remember when a poem was so much fun to write. I'm glad Phyllis did this contest as I might not have tried this rhythm pattern otherwise. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bravo! Superb entry in the contest! Great chance at winning, with perfect Gertrude meter, good rhyme, and a humorous story. Good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2013
|
Bravo! Superb entry in the contest! Great chance at winning, with perfect Gertrude meter, good rhyme, and a humorous story. Good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2013
-
Thank you so much for the encouraging six star review. And thank you for running the contest.
:)
Comment from mbpapillon
I thought this rhymed nicely. I liked the whole concept. The skinny dipping
I could picture clearly. Leaving the water dripping.I really liked the ending how true where are your friends when you need them? I enjoyed your poem. I would share it.it's a fun poem. Thanks for sharing. Good luck !
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
|
I thought this rhymed nicely. I liked the whole concept. The skinny dipping
I could picture clearly. Leaving the water dripping.I really liked the ending how true where are your friends when you need them? I enjoyed your poem. I would share it.it's a fun poem. Thanks for sharing. Good luck !
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
-
Thank you so much for the reveiw and the nce comments. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Craigitar
This is a great fun and funny write--chuckled all the way through. You followed the format perfectly. Rhythm and rhyme are spot-on and not forced and the story is complete and humorous. Great job and luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
|
This is a great fun and funny write--chuckled all the way through. You followed the format perfectly. Rhythm and rhyme are spot-on and not forced and the story is complete and humorous. Great job and luck with the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
-
Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments and good wishes. I'm glad you got a laugh.
