Sammy's Prayer
A little boy isn't happy about his new baby brother.31 total reviews
Comment from The Death
It is a really cute and heart touching poem...reflects the innocence of children.
Kind of funny too....shows a bit jealousy....lol....it is very common though.i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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It is a really cute and heart touching poem...reflects the innocence of children.
Kind of funny too....shows a bit jealousy....lol....it is very common though.i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I remember being jealous as a kid. I was an only child but I'm sure I would have had that problem if my mother had had another baby.
Beth
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is such a great poem for the writing prompt. It is so cute and humorous and sweet. My oldest grandson just wanted a sister a few years ago. Instead he got twin brothers - he wasn't too happy.
~Teresa~
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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This is such a great poem for the writing prompt. It is so cute and humorous and sweet. My oldest grandson just wanted a sister a few years ago. Instead he got twin brothers - he wasn't too happy.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for all those stars. I'm so glad you liked this. Thanks for sharing bout your grandson. My own son had two sisters and wanted the new baby to be a boy. He had a twin sister and when he found out I'd had another girl, he wanted the doctor to go back and look again to make sure there wasn't another boy. LOL
Beth
Comment from MoonMuse
This is such a cute, sweet poem. Wonderful job on your rhyming quatrains. I think a lot of kids have the same reaction to a new brother or sister. (laugh) This was just a pleasure to read. Cheers!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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This is such a cute, sweet poem. Wonderful job on your rhyming quatrains. I think a lot of kids have the same reaction to a new brother or sister. (laugh) This was just a pleasure to read. Cheers!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. I'm so glad you liked this.
Beth
Comment from marion
Hi Beth
I think this be worthy of six stars. Although there's nothing complex about it, Sammy's prayer is beautifully written, the tone sounds perfect. The words of a young boy consistent. And then there's the problem ... that little brother who cries and poos! It is not quite what Sammy wanted. I love the swap over from baby to dog! And then he ends it so beautifully with the last stanza in particular the last two lines:
One more thing before I quit though,
please bless Mommy and my dad.
One question - if Mommy has a capital, would dad?
I enjoyed. A soulful piece from a little boy's perspective.
Marion
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Hi Beth
I think this be worthy of six stars. Although there's nothing complex about it, Sammy's prayer is beautifully written, the tone sounds perfect. The words of a young boy consistent. And then there's the problem ... that little brother who cries and poos! It is not quite what Sammy wanted. I love the swap over from baby to dog! And then he ends it so beautifully with the last stanza in particular the last two lines:
One more thing before I quit though,
please bless Mommy and my dad.
One question - if Mommy has a capital, would dad?
I enjoyed. A soulful piece from a little boy's perspective.
Marion
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much Marion for all the stars and the wonderful comments. I think if Mother is used as a proper name it would by capitalized but my mother or my dad is referring to a relationship and isn't used as a proper noun. It does look a little odd though.
Beth
Comment from 4tun81
This is a very sweet and funny poem. The picture enhances the feeling on earnest prayer. The ABCB pattern works well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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This is a very sweet and funny poem. The picture enhances the feeling on earnest prayer. The ABCB pattern works well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments and good withes. I'm glad you found it sweet and funny.
Beth
Comment from chasennov
'Sammy's Prayer.'An excellent little poem you wrote here which I enjoyed so much reading. I thought your formulation was very good.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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'Sammy's Prayer.'An excellent little poem you wrote here which I enjoyed so much reading. I thought your formulation was very good.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
great pairing of photo and poem
good use of abcb rhyme
I love the child's dissatisfaction with God for sending him an infant brother instead of one old enough to play with him LOL
just the right combination of humor and sweetness :-)
Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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great pairing of photo and poem
good use of abcb rhyme
I love the child's dissatisfaction with God for sending him an infant brother instead of one old enough to play with him LOL
just the right combination of humor and sweetness :-)
Brooke
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review and affirmative comments.
Beth
Comment from lorijean
What a funny little poem very sweet, how God did not quite understand his request, written well and a pleasure to read........
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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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What a funny little poem very sweet, how God did not quite understand his request, written well and a pleasure to read........
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review. I really appreciate the domments.
Beth
Comment from marre5
I really like this poem which beautifully captures the perspective of a small older brother with humor and insight. Great picture you found too to accompany poem. No suggestions for improvement (unusual for me :)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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I really like this poem which beautifully captures the perspective of a small older brother with humor and insight. Great picture you found too to accompany poem. No suggestions for improvement (unusual for me :)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the six star review. I'm so pleased that you liked this. I really appreciate your reading it and the nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Sidmarks
Excellent poem from a child's perspective. I enjoyed reading it and was giggling away half way through! The rhythm was good the words were apt and in keeping with the way a child speaks, Well done and good luck
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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Excellent poem from a child's perspective. I enjoyed reading it and was giggling away half way through! The rhythm was good the words were apt and in keeping with the way a child speaks, Well done and good luck
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review. I really appreciate your comments.
Beth
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No problem.
