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Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "senryu (life's twists)"Personal poems
16 total reviews
Comment from alexgeorge
Yep, perhaps that's part of the reason women are smarter than us men, more world wise. For by doing knitting, sowing, cooking, they have time to contemplate and figure things out in their head.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Yep, perhaps that's part of the reason women are smarter than us men, more world wise. For by doing knitting, sowing, cooking, they have time to contemplate and figure things out in their head.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
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Thanks Alexgeorge. Could be. Knitting sure is beyond me.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This seems to have the right syllable count.
I think you mean "purl" and not "pearl".
I sort of want to put hyphens between "push" "and" and "pulls" because otherwise it would be more correct to say "like life's pushes and pulls" and that would mess up the syllable count.
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2013
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This seems to have the right syllable count.
I think you mean "purl" and not "pearl".
I sort of want to put hyphens between "push" "and" and "pulls" because otherwise it would be more correct to say "like life's pushes and pulls" and that would mess up the syllable count.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2013
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Thanks
Comment from GaryCecil
This is a very meaningful 3-5-3. The author notes at the bottom made me like it even more. Such simple words, like the raw materials, but such strong imagery. Good Job!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2013
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This is a very meaningful 3-5-3. The author notes at the bottom made me like it even more. Such simple words, like the raw materials, but such strong imagery. Good Job!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2013
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Thank you Gary.
Comment from 9999pool
The push and pulls, twist and twirls as well as the knots and notches and wall! - a beautiful piece of creation is made. Man had achieved greater things than this.
They have build monuments, brick by brick, concrete slabs by concrete slabs and life has such surprises for all of us too.
Bits and pieces of joy and sorrow. Pain and sufferings became our major focus and happiness is just a bonus for the lucky ones.
Excellent poem in a short story about life's twists and turns!
Cheerio, Rithcie.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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The push and pulls, twist and twirls as well as the knots and notches and wall! - a beautiful piece of creation is made. Man had achieved greater things than this.
They have build monuments, brick by brick, concrete slabs by concrete slabs and life has such surprises for all of us too.
Bits and pieces of joy and sorrow. Pain and sufferings became our major focus and happiness is just a bonus for the lucky ones.
Excellent poem in a short story about life's twists and turns!
Cheerio, Rithcie.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Thank you Ritchie. Yes, we are creators too.
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So true, Ritchie. Best.
Comment from Gungalo
turns and twists
like life's push and pulls
knit and pearl
Indeed how they knit and pearly, eh? It is literally amazing how they create something so wonderful.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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turns and twists
like life's push and pulls
knit and pearl
Indeed how they knit and pearly, eh? It is literally amazing how they create something so wonderful.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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Thank you Gungalo. It sure is. It's beyond my talents.
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LOL
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes my friend this is well written and indeed very creative says so much about life and enhanced well I enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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Yes my friend this is well written and indeed very creative says so much about life and enhanced well I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 07-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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Thank you Jill. Glad to bring some enjoyment. It makes me happy!
Comment from dmt1967
I like this metaphor I have never thought of life as knitting before but it is a good eulogy I like the picture very well written thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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I like this metaphor I have never thought of life as knitting before but it is a good eulogy I like the picture very well written thank you for sharing
Comment Written 07-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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Thank you dmt.
Comment from The Death
It is a nice senryu.and for a change,you broke that conventional thinking that senryu are always humorous.the syllable count is correct.
"twists and turns"
nice alliteration
"like life's push and pulls"
good alliteration and of two alphabets.draws human parallel
"knit and pearl"
'pearl' sounds a bit odd to me.possible edits
"knit and glow" ,"knit and shine"
it is complete in meaning and written well.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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It is a nice senryu.and for a change,you broke that conventional thinking that senryu are always humorous.the syllable count is correct.
"twists and turns"
nice alliteration
"like life's push and pulls"
good alliteration and of two alphabets.draws human parallel
"knit and pearl"
'pearl' sounds a bit odd to me.possible edits
"knit and glow" ,"knit and shine"
it is complete in meaning and written well.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2013
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Thank you Anupam. Pearl is a technical knitting term, a pearl is a backward knit. It is the name of the type of stitch,
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Yes.i know.knitting is done everywhere..lol..but there was already 'push' and 'pull' there.so it gives out a repetetive meaning.anyways,it's your write.have a nice day:-)
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo made by you to complement this little poem. You made a great Senryu about your wife knitting from worthless things and makes a pearl.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2013
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Excellent photo made by you to complement this little poem. You made a great Senryu about your wife knitting from worthless things and makes a pearl.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2013
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Thank you Ine. Yes, she really liked it too.
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Great, Ine
Comment from Gypsy Starchild
Darn it... why do you always choose times when I am out of sixes to post your most brilliant thoughts? Sorry I do not have a six for you, this is wonderful... possibly my favorite senryu that I have ever read... and a mini senryu at that!
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2013
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Darn it... why do you always choose times when I am out of sixes to post your most brilliant thoughts? Sorry I do not have a six for you, this is wonderful... possibly my favorite senryu that I have ever read... and a mini senryu at that!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2013
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Thank you Gylsy Starchild. You wonderful comments are accolades enough.
