Happiness
5-7-5 poem3 total reviews
Comment from zeldasmith
This follows the 5-7-5 rule. It makes sense too. My mother wore glasses and a hearing aid....she always said that she couldn't hear without her glasses and couldn't see without her hearing aid. I couldn't figure her theory until I myself was in my 50's still wearing glasses BUT now I was having trouble hearing...however when I put on my glasses...the words sounded clearer. So your poem makes sense...you relate happiness to the one you love. Good job poet and good luck.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
This follows the 5-7-5 rule. It makes sense too. My mother wore glasses and a hearing aid....she always said that she couldn't hear without her glasses and couldn't see without her hearing aid. I couldn't figure her theory until I myself was in my 50's still wearing glasses BUT now I was having trouble hearing...however when I put on my glasses...the words sounded clearer. So your poem makes sense...you relate happiness to the one you love. Good job poet and good luck.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for feedback (:
And I feel your pain about the glasses. I need some new ones, I sat on mine haha.
Comment from trevorletang
Well done with this structure. A profound message in just three lines with the correct syllable count. All the best for the contest. Maybe an abstract picture could add a dramatic effect, just a thought
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
Well done with this structure. A profound message in just three lines with the correct syllable count. All the best for the contest. Maybe an abstract picture could add a dramatic effect, just a thought
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Mmmm. I like the picture idea, but I wouldn't want to put someone else's work on here. I want it to be totally my own and I can't draw, so art is out of the question haha. But thank you so much for your feedback (:
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, welcome to FanStory - don't worry, you will meet plenty of writers here.
Your little 5-7-5 poem is interesting - one run-on sentence really which makes it a little unusual for this form. I liked the little puzzle within the content and the link up with the old saying.
Steve
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
Hi, welcome to FanStory - don't worry, you will meet plenty of writers here.
Your little 5-7-5 poem is interesting - one run-on sentence really which makes it a little unusual for this form. I liked the little puzzle within the content and the link up with the old saying.
Steve
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for you feedback (:
And I hope I do befriend of writers. It'd be great to be able to talk to people who share the same interest as me.