Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Little Pirates"Personal poems
27 total reviews
Comment from Darkhorse555
from the picture at the seaside little pirates dressed in its blue awakening your senses attire on the maiden trip I enjoyed this piece
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2013
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from the picture at the seaside little pirates dressed in its blue awakening your senses attire on the maiden trip I enjoyed this piece
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2013
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Thank you Darkhorse. It was a fun write!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, treischel, you did an excellent job wiritng this poem about the pirates who sunk their ship on its maiden voyage. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2013
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this is very well written, treischel, you did an excellent job wiritng this poem about the pirates who sunk their ship on its maiden voyage. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2013
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Thank you sweetwoodjax. Your encouragement is fully appreciated.
Comment from sunnilicious
Well, that is a nice way to commemorate some childhood memories of summer with your brothers. Well thought out. Creative. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Well, that is a nice way to commemorate some childhood memories of summer with your brothers. Well thought out. Creative. Excellent work.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Thank sunnilicious, it was a good way to cool off on a hot day.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Tom,
A great story poem - which also made me laugh. Brings back memories on the water with my kids. This is well penned captures my full attention and lightens the mood to fun times no matter how silly they may seem. They always are remembered.
I enjoyed this one - a great submission for the contest. I wish you lots of luck and thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Hi Tom,
A great story poem - which also made me laugh. Brings back memories on the water with my kids. This is well penned captures my full attention and lightens the mood to fun times no matter how silly they may seem. They always are remembered.
I enjoyed this one - a great submission for the contest. I wish you lots of luck and thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Thank you Maureen for your wonderful thoughts and well wishes.
Comment from 9999pool
At the end of reviewing this poem, I knew it was a six star write. The story line is brilliant and told in a very simple boy's language and tale.
Being boys in the good old days, how can we forget all the silly playful things we did. Thinking we were so good at what we do that nothing can defeat us.
I have folded paper ships that actually sank too. The water seeped in as we pushed the silly looking pirate paper boats and walla! - it sank and though our hearts sank, we sang with joy that at least it floated for a while before sinking!
This is a very memorable piece for many who had been boys before becoming the stubborn old men we are today - still making pirate's ships knowing that we will never used them in our lifetime.
Excellent write and simply astounding story told of a boy's childhood silly fun days.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
P.S. A long review comment meant a six star write. Smiles.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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At the end of reviewing this poem, I knew it was a six star write. The story line is brilliant and told in a very simple boy's language and tale.
Being boys in the good old days, how can we forget all the silly playful things we did. Thinking we were so good at what we do that nothing can defeat us.
I have folded paper ships that actually sank too. The water seeped in as we pushed the silly looking pirate paper boats and walla! - it sank and though our hearts sank, we sang with joy that at least it floated for a while before sinking!
This is a very memorable piece for many who had been boys before becoming the stubborn old men we are today - still making pirate's ships knowing that we will never used them in our lifetime.
Excellent write and simply astounding story told of a boy's childhood silly fun days.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
P.S. A long review comment meant a six star write. Smiles.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you Ritchie. You captured to essence and playful mood of this.I appreciate this generous award of stars. Yes, boyhood schemes are fun to remember.
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Yes, we will always remember those times. Brought a lot of old fond memories to me too.
Cheerio and have a great evening.
Ritchie.
Comment from lorijean
This made me smile, we have all done it, but you told a lovely story of the pirate ship (raft) sound like a lots of fun, very playful, just loved it....
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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This made me smile, we have all done it, but you told a lovely story of the pirate ship (raft) sound like a lots of fun, very playful, just loved it....
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you lorijeanl it was a fun write.
Comment from vapros
A fine story in rhyme. That's the thing about the ships we build - they tend to sink. But when we do it as kids, it's not very serious. Good job.
v
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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A fine story in rhyme. That's the thing about the ships we build - they tend to sink. But when we do it as kids, it's not very serious. Good job.
v
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you vapros.
Comment from alexgeorge
I loved your little poem story of you as kids building a raft and calling it a priate ship. The things we got upto in those days will remain a golden memory forever.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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I loved your little poem story of you as kids building a raft and calling it a priate ship. The things we got upto in those days will remain a golden memory forever.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you Alexgeorge. Yes, those were truly the good old days.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
This an excellent story in a poem. It has good rhyme and flow. It is an excellent story of a typical boyhood project and a typical result. You have to begin with failure or you will never learn anything. I enjoyed this effort.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Hi, Treischel,
This an excellent story in a poem. It has good rhyme and flow. It is an excellent story of a typical boyhood project and a typical result. You have to begin with failure or you will never learn anything. I enjoyed this effort.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you Preston. Seems to me I read somewhere that to try and fail is better than to never have tried at all. :-)
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
nice to read you again Tom - well done for this peep into your youth, which reads well. very best wishes as always, Indie aka Connie xx
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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nice to read you again Tom - well done for this peep into your youth, which reads well. very best wishes as always, Indie aka Connie xx
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Indie! Is that you reincarnated. Hurray! I missed you.
