Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Kuta Moon, Part II"Murder Mystery
43 total reviews
Comment from jadapenn
Ooh, a creepy chapter giving us a bit of information. Eddie was the nurse dominated by his mother. I'm getting a bit confused but it will come right. •?? A nice chapter and I wonder if Ty will get much more out of his uncle. The story progresses well and holds the attention well. I actually like reading the book like this as it has so much more impact. Well written. Luv jada
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Ooh, a creepy chapter giving us a bit of information. Eddie was the nurse dominated by his mother. I'm getting a bit confused but it will come right. •?? A nice chapter and I wonder if Ty will get much more out of his uncle. The story progresses well and holds the attention well. I actually like reading the book like this as it has so much more impact. Well written. Luv jada
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thanks so much, Jada. I'm going to have Ty figuring in at a little later time in a much bigger way. You have a good memory, thank goodness. Yes, Eddie is the nurse with the shut-in mother. We'll be getting further inside Eddie's psyche very soon. Love ya, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
Okay, I nearly wet my pants with this one. There at the end, I was sure the evil being was going to have the Watcher do something to Ty. My heart kind of stopped while I read!!!!
Wow,the Watcher is truly under the possession of something very nasty. Can you imagine being beholden to something so awful? He KNOWS it's awful, yet he sticks with it. How can he not realize the thing that's going to give him his 'prize' is going to want a whole lot more in return?
You're giving me chills with this one Bev! I can't give you a six. The cyber toad is sitting on my sixes. :-)
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Okay, I nearly wet my pants with this one. There at the end, I was sure the evil being was going to have the Watcher do something to Ty. My heart kind of stopped while I read!!!!
Wow,the Watcher is truly under the possession of something very nasty. Can you imagine being beholden to something so awful? He KNOWS it's awful, yet he sticks with it. How can he not realize the thing that's going to give him his 'prize' is going to want a whole lot more in return?
You're giving me chills with this one Bev! I can't give you a six. The cyber toad is sitting on my sixes. :-)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Hiya, Sue. The really sad thing about possession is how often the souls involved, at some point, feel that the demonic is their only friend - or hope. It's how they it gets its toehold.
Your review is just so awesome, the virtual six is icing on the cake. Thanks for caring enough to follow my story, Sue. It means very much to me and I am most grateful.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from samandlancelot
Bev,
Another exceptional chapter. I like the struggle Eddie had in seeing Ty and his mounting belief that his tormentor would not keep his promise.
A bank of cumulus clouds released an imprisoned sun, and Ty turned his face upwards allowing it to burn away all the extraneous details of the day. (excellent description)
Whoever walked up to that tree appeared capable of flight. (To even consider this seems amazing, but so intriguing.)
Patricia
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Bev,
Another exceptional chapter. I like the struggle Eddie had in seeing Ty and his mounting belief that his tormentor would not keep his promise.
A bank of cumulus clouds released an imprisoned sun, and Ty turned his face upwards allowing it to burn away all the extraneous details of the day. (excellent description)
Whoever walked up to that tree appeared capable of flight. (To even consider this seems amazing, but so intriguing.)
Patricia
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Hiya, Patricia. Thank you for, once again, putting a big smile on my face! I so appreciate your faithful reading of my novel chapters, and you always have some fascinating insights. Much appreciated! :0) Bev
Comment from Joan E.
I follow smurphgirl's prose too and am fascinated that in both your current stories, the smell of sulfur and "lapses in consciousness" are associated with specific, powerful situations. Thank you for the additional research cited in your notes. Your artwork selection and use of the word "vacillating" help re-establish the mood, along with your image of "alien astronauts". With all the imagery and vivid details plus tension, I could see your story becoming a television series. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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I follow smurphgirl's prose too and am fascinated that in both your current stories, the smell of sulfur and "lapses in consciousness" are associated with specific, powerful situations. Thank you for the additional research cited in your notes. Your artwork selection and use of the word "vacillating" help re-establish the mood, along with your image of "alien astronauts". With all the imagery and vivid details plus tension, I could see your story becoming a television series. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Joan, thank you so much for your wonderful review! I'm honored to be compared to Smurphgirl, and must confess I've not read her current post. Off to do that now! I've read extensively on the symptoms of possession as well as the actual work of the priest-exorcist. Often, the smell (as in the case of Eddie) is only noticed by the individual. Eventually, in the state of 'perfect' possessions, the smell can become part of the paranormal events around the ritual itself - but not always. Probably a lot more than you really wanted to know. Much appreciated, my friend. Warmest regards, Bev
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Fascinating--thanks for sharing more of your research. Added hugs from Oregon- Joan
Comment from rtobaygo
Great flow and continuity and good balance between showing and telling. I liked the touch with the Latin phrase. You build suspense well and your hooks are excellent. One wonders what will happen to your protagonist.
Two quick notes: Is your novel plot or character driven and I noticed you used Rez instead of Res.
Over all and excellent post. Kudos!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Great flow and continuity and good balance between showing and telling. I liked the touch with the Latin phrase. You build suspense well and your hooks are excellent. One wonders what will happen to your protagonist.
Two quick notes: Is your novel plot or character driven and I noticed you used Rez instead of Res.
Over all and excellent post. Kudos!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Hi, RT. Thank you so very much for this awesomely generous review! I think that I started out thinking it would be plot-driven, but it has become more and more character-oriented. I've obviously got my work cut out in the editing process when I go back to those earlier chapters. Also, in regards to the spelling, admittedly using Rez has been influenced by other writers and the way that Indians refer to it. If I did spell is Res, I'm pretty sure I'd be confusing some readers. I appreciate the sensitivity with which you reviewed this chapter. Much appreciated, Bev
Comment from Rondeno
Bev, you have such a professional prose style! I'm so jealous! I continue to love this mixture of modern police techniques and ancient lore .... brilliant!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Bev, you have such a professional prose style! I'm so jealous! I continue to love this mixture of modern police techniques and ancient lore .... brilliant!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Hiya, Mikey. What a gracious and generous review. I'm really honored by your opininion of the write, buddy. Thanks so much!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from visionary1234
I can't believe I haven't looked in on you before now! Loved this write! Love your rich use of language, especially when it comes to setting and incorporating it into your character interactions eg:
"A bank of cumulus clouds released an imprisoned sun, and Ty turned his face upwards allowing it to burn away all the extraneous details of the day."
I shall look forward to reading more!
Thx for your great, succinct author notes, too!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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I can't believe I haven't looked in on you before now! Loved this write! Love your rich use of language, especially when it comes to setting and incorporating it into your character interactions eg:
"A bank of cumulus clouds released an imprisoned sun, and Ty turned his face upwards allowing it to burn away all the extraneous details of the day."
I shall look forward to reading more!
Thx for your great, succinct author notes, too!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Hi, Sharyn. Thank you so much for your generous and gracious review. I'm truly honored! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from donaldww
Eddie has been watching Tony's cabin on his belly near the edge of the woods, while Jana and Rick visited, and now Ty. Ty is also a policeman, but I take it he works for the reservation police rather than the city police.
The story is getting mysterious for me. I thought Mathew had killed himself, but in overhearing their conversation, it seems as though Ty is expecting to get Mathew back from Tony (medicine man). Does he think he's been kidnapped, or does he expect Tony to bring him back from the dead?
Excellent writing as always!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Eddie has been watching Tony's cabin on his belly near the edge of the woods, while Jana and Rick visited, and now Ty. Ty is also a policeman, but I take it he works for the reservation police rather than the city police.
The story is getting mysterious for me. I thought Mathew had killed himself, but in overhearing their conversation, it seems as though Ty is expecting to get Mathew back from Tony (medicine man). Does he think he's been kidnapped, or does he expect Tony to bring him back from the dead?
Excellent writing as always!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Matthew is definitely dead! Thanks so much, donald. I sure appreciate your attention to the details and the generous review.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Showboat
As always, Bev, I'm struck by the beauty and lyricism of your writing. The visuals ar excellent and I feel like I'm right in the middle of things!
Loved the description of Eddie! Excellent.
I can't find a suggestion to make except I'd like more, please!
Great job,
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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As always, Bev, I'm struck by the beauty and lyricism of your writing. The visuals ar excellent and I feel like I'm right in the middle of things!
Loved the description of Eddie! Excellent.
I can't find a suggestion to make except I'd like more, please!
Great job,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Gayle, you are such a sweetie! Thank you for this uplifting and very generous review. I sure do appreciate you. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
Tribal Policeman Ty Longacre...
Loving the name.
vacillating
Good word. Thought I knew the meaning, but looked it up anyway.
alien astronauts had left behind a sign that something watched from the skies.
They're out there you know. Watching us. Hiding our car keys and stealing our socks.
Ty leaned against the driver's side door and crossed his legs.
Showing off a fine set of fish-net stockings and legs to die for.
...imprisoned sun...
I just want to be freeeeeeeee!
He snapped alert to the sound of screeching gulls from the edge of the lake.
Got my attention here.
Likely Tony Buday and the dog.
That's what I was thinking.
It showed no signs of molestation,...
I hate those tree molesters.
He knew they could shapeshift to confound human detection.
I know of several people that can become human turnips. I won't have them in my garden anymore.
I've got to get to Tony Buday right away.
I hate to say it but his last name "Buday" reminds me of that European toilet-water shooter. Makes me clench my butt cheeks every time I read his name.
...that kept Tony Buday's house hidden from strangers.
Flush!
The Watcher dropped his eyes before the beauty that seared him like a red-hot brand.
The (Peeping Tom) dropped his eyes...
I'm sick of your crazy orders. I take all the risks, and you take all the pleasure. It's not fair! We had a deal...
I'm telling mom on you.
I'm about to toss you a scrap."
Can I have another beat down with that?
The sound of tires on gravel startled the Watcher.
Oh, my god! It's the police! Stop peeping and get the hell out of there!
Jamming his fists into his mouth, the Watcher tried to cover the sound of his sobs.
Most people would go for one fist, but you're obviously an over-achiever.
I was laughing so hard. I was in tears. Not so much at your story, but at my comments and the visuals they made. Providing the source material for my imagination earns you six stars my friend.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Tribal Policeman Ty Longacre...
Loving the name.
vacillating
Good word. Thought I knew the meaning, but looked it up anyway.
alien astronauts had left behind a sign that something watched from the skies.
They're out there you know. Watching us. Hiding our car keys and stealing our socks.
Ty leaned against the driver's side door and crossed his legs.
Showing off a fine set of fish-net stockings and legs to die for.
...imprisoned sun...
I just want to be freeeeeeeee!
He snapped alert to the sound of screeching gulls from the edge of the lake.
Got my attention here.
Likely Tony Buday and the dog.
That's what I was thinking.
It showed no signs of molestation,...
I hate those tree molesters.
He knew they could shapeshift to confound human detection.
I know of several people that can become human turnips. I won't have them in my garden anymore.
I've got to get to Tony Buday right away.
I hate to say it but his last name "Buday" reminds me of that European toilet-water shooter. Makes me clench my butt cheeks every time I read his name.
...that kept Tony Buday's house hidden from strangers.
Flush!
The Watcher dropped his eyes before the beauty that seared him like a red-hot brand.
The (Peeping Tom) dropped his eyes...
I'm sick of your crazy orders. I take all the risks, and you take all the pleasure. It's not fair! We had a deal...
I'm telling mom on you.
I'm about to toss you a scrap."
Can I have another beat down with that?
The sound of tires on gravel startled the Watcher.
Oh, my god! It's the police! Stop peeping and get the hell out of there!
Jamming his fists into his mouth, the Watcher tried to cover the sound of his sobs.
Most people would go for one fist, but you're obviously an over-achiever.
I was laughing so hard. I was in tears. Not so much at your story, but at my comments and the visuals they made. Providing the source material for my imagination earns you six stars my friend.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Thanks, I think LOL. I'm so happy I could provide a diversion on this fine Saturday morning. You're a very funny man, Mark Alan Trimeloni. I appreciate your generous rating and very interesting review. Warm regards, Bev
