A prayer to Santa
Christmas Story4 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
This is a good thought to hold dear.
I heard Santa was originally from Turkey. He migrated not to claim a religion during the crusades.
Anyways, this is not in 5-7-5 syllable count format. You have to count out the syllables per line. So make it less wordy.
Edit example for the first line:
Hold * be*lief * and * pray
You can always repeat the pattern to tell a story. Good luck to you.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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This is a good thought to hold dear.
I heard Santa was originally from Turkey. He migrated not to claim a religion during the crusades.
Anyways, this is not in 5-7-5 syllable count format. You have to count out the syllables per line. So make it less wordy.
Edit example for the first line:
Hold * be*lief * and * pray
You can always repeat the pattern to tell a story. Good luck to you.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Hello and nice to meet you,
Thank you for the review and for your advices that you sharing them with me.
This is a story and those syllables are just for let the kid be attendant hearing. Frankly I'm not experienced with those syllables but I'm learning how to write those. I know that the writer has talents to write anything, but actually I find a lot of differences between writing and making poems. That's what I'm trying to learn. Anyway I'm glad that you pass by and read my story, this is mean one thing for me that I'm on my way to have a very good position writing.
Thank your for your encourage.
Maguy Daoud
Comment from misscookie
Hello
I like the words to your poem it made me smile.
Your words were few yet your message was huge' With Him at your side all things are possible.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
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Hello
I like the words to your poem it made me smile.
Your words were few yet your message was huge' With Him at your side all things are possible.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 15-May-2013
reply by the author on 15-May-2013
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At least, I've got feedback , I earned this am I not right, haha,
I kept moving, I don't know this passion inside me of writing will be seen some day, I am so sure, and try to get all feedback needing to rise my talent high.
I posted a new Christmas story, but I don't know if you can see it, I'm recently a standard author, soon I will upgrade to let share with my my writings post.
Thank you so much miss cookie for the precious comment.
Comment from simplyteresa
I really like this poem and the sweet holiday anticipation it builds. I believe a 5-7-5 poem should only have three lines so you may want to revisit that. Also it should be 5 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 syllables.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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I really like this poem and the sweet holiday anticipation it builds. I believe a 5-7-5 poem should only have three lines so you may want to revisit that. Also it should be 5 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 syllables.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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Dear Mrs.. Teresa
Thank you so much for the encouragement, it is the second rewire I received tonight while I'm writing, you make my night so....
I couldn't express the feelings and the words too.
For the 5-7-5 and the three lines and also the 5 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 really I don't know about them could you please help me ? Thanks for the big help in advance.
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That's what is so awesome about this site is that everyone is very helpful, I've learned a ton in my first month as well. Check out the link under the "info" tab on "types of poetry" I have found it very helpful especially for contests.
Good luck and keep it up, it really is fun and rewarding :)
Comment from Sam Mendonca
A very well written poem with great emotions from the writer. :)
Suggestion : :D
A 5-7-5- poem can only consist of three lines.
The first line with 5 syllables,
The second line with 7 syllables,
and the third line with 5 syllables.
Maybe edit your poem to fit the contest rules.
It's a very good poem, I would also suggestion adding a photo of Santa to go along with your poem to get the reader's attention.
I would be happy to give it a five star . Let me know. :D
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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A very well written poem with great emotions from the writer. :)
Suggestion : :D
A 5-7-5- poem can only consist of three lines.
The first line with 5 syllables,
The second line with 7 syllables,
and the third line with 5 syllables.
Maybe edit your poem to fit the contest rules.
It's a very good poem, I would also suggestion adding a photo of Santa to go along with your poem to get the reader's attention.
I would be happy to give it a five star . Let me know. :D
Comment Written 29-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
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Dear Mrs Sam Mendonca
Thank you so much for encouraging me, your words means a lot to me, i couldn't take my breath out until the last word of your reply. Thanks again and i'll be glad if you could give me more critical, i will be glad to receive them all from your side because of them i will know my mistakes and going further to my dream come true
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Let me know when you revise the poem and I will give you a five star ratiang.
You certainly have the words right. :D
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Dear Mrs. Sam, You asked me if I revised my story, and I would like to tell you " yes I did so many times " but I'm asking why I should revise my writings stories and if there's something missing, please do not hesitate to tell, I am a fast learner but I really need more experiences about writings, I fell like I should have tons of experiences, will you please share me yours. I want to know all about writing.
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Your poem it's self is excellent, just the contest you entered requires it to be written in a certain way.
Your poem :D
If you beleive in me
And if you pray
from the bottom of your heart
it will be come true some day
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For the contest :D
First line-You believe in me-5 syllables
Second line- and you pray with all your heart- 7 Syllables
Third line-it will become true-5 syllables.
You can only have three line in the contest. :D
I will be happy to help in way I can.
I will become a fan of your's, that way I can read what you post. If you would like. :D
Let me know if you change it and I will be happy to give five stars because the content of the poem is excellent. :)
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Dear Mrs Sam, Have a nice day,
First and from the bottom of my heart i'm thanking you that you became a fan of my writing. I really do appreciate this step to me.
Please I want to ask you, should i post something else to be started ranked and rating, or i should have paid to being ranked and rating and getting feedback.
I'm not quietly sure what the next step should i take to see some fans reading my wrtings. Please advice and thanks for your precious time.
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Write , write and write some more :D
The more you write the more they get to know you
and your ranking will go up
To get fans- you need to be come a fan of others by reading their work, in return they read yours and become a fan of yours . :D
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Thank you so much for ur support i really need this.
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Dear Mrs. Sam,
Have a nice day,
I would like to inform you that I posted a new Christmas story " A child is born ", I hope you can see it from my profile and hope also to read it and give me your constructive critical.
By the way it's a story not a poem. ( Just for information ).
Thank you for all your feedbacks that I will need always. Bye
