Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Kesto Moon"Murder Mystery
45 total reviews
Comment from Rondeno
It continues to be excellent, Bev. You have a truly professional style - by which I mean, your writing doesn't intrude. You let the story do its work. Great!
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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It continues to be excellent, Bev. You have a truly professional style - by which I mean, your writing doesn't intrude. You let the story do its work. Great!
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Thanks so much, Michael. I'm honored by your gracious review! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Writingfundimension ...
I read this chapter with interest, reaching the end of it somewhat bewildered as to what was going on. Now, of course, I eagerly look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Hullo Writingfundimension ...
I read this chapter with interest, reaching the end of it somewhat bewildered as to what was going on. Now, of course, I eagerly look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Thanks so much for this gracious review, Nanette Mary. Your support is very much appreciated!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Liz Dunbee
This is so exciting. Can't wait to read more of this. Your writing is very balanced with lots of dialogue which I love. But apart from that you are a talent writer. You evoke the mystery. Good Luck!
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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This is so exciting. Can't wait to read more of this. Your writing is very balanced with lots of dialogue which I love. But apart from that you are a talent writer. You evoke the mystery. Good Luck!
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Hi, Liz. Thank you so much for this very generous and gracious review. I sure appreciate your encouraging feedback! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from JW
This is an interesting chapter and one cannot help but wonder where the development expose here will lead to. It leaves one curious. .... Good job.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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This is an interesting chapter and one cannot help but wonder where the development expose here will lead to. It leaves one curious. .... Good job.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Thank YOU, Jonathon. I appreciate the encouragement and support, my friend.
Bev
Comment from J. Dark
Hi Bev. I love this story. Your characters are very believable and it has a great atmosphere.
I loved the dialogue at the beginning of the chapter - it was very real and I thought you conveyed the awkward cross-cultural rapport brilliantly.
You've got some superb description which truly brings the story alive - such as your description of the clothing Leksi wore and the clarity in the kitchen due to the skylight. I love all the Indian cultural references too as they lend to the atmosphere.
The description of the black figure was appropriate creepy and I thoroughly enjoy the supernatural element to this story. It is interesting to see the cross-cultural belief affecting how the incident is interpreted.
Fabulous and extremely professional writing as always, Bev, and it deserves a six, but alas I have used my quota. You are a seven star writer anyway. I love your work!
Just one question - are you sure it was a deer they nearly hit at the beginning? Could have been a kangaroo, you know!
Much love,
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Hi Bev. I love this story. Your characters are very believable and it has a great atmosphere.
I loved the dialogue at the beginning of the chapter - it was very real and I thought you conveyed the awkward cross-cultural rapport brilliantly.
You've got some superb description which truly brings the story alive - such as your description of the clothing Leksi wore and the clarity in the kitchen due to the skylight. I love all the Indian cultural references too as they lend to the atmosphere.
The description of the black figure was appropriate creepy and I thoroughly enjoy the supernatural element to this story. It is interesting to see the cross-cultural belief affecting how the incident is interpreted.
Fabulous and extremely professional writing as always, Bev, and it deserves a six, but alas I have used my quota. You are a seven star writer anyway. I love your work!
Just one question - are you sure it was a deer they nearly hit at the beginning? Could have been a kangaroo, you know!
Much love,
Julie :-)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Dear Julie, thank you so much for this beautiful review! I am very honored by the time you've taken to let me what you liked about the chapter - that's so helpful! I really apprecitate how gracious and supportive you are, my friend. And I'm pretty sure the short white tail was a dead give away it was a deer LOL. Wink Wink. Love, Bev
Comment from gene roush
This is a nice scene,
You lay it out well, supply tension and relief, you're a good writer.
It seems to me that occasionally you rely on narration too much -- "The tension she radiated put him on edge" -- when you are so good at describing stuff through action.
I think if you go back through your writing you'll find places that a little action will serve you much better than narration.
thanks for sharing
Gene
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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This is a nice scene,
You lay it out well, supply tension and relief, you're a good writer.
It seems to me that occasionally you rely on narration too much -- "The tension she radiated put him on edge" -- when you are so good at describing stuff through action.
I think if you go back through your writing you'll find places that a little action will serve you much better than narration.
thanks for sharing
Gene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Thanks for the suggestion, gene. I'll keep your advice in mind for the next chapter.
Comment from misscookie
With all the difference cultures and belief I think the inspectors work is going to get worse before it gets better.
I enjoyed the read for there was never a dull moment.
Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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With all the difference cultures and belief I think the inspectors work is going to get worse before it gets better.
I enjoyed the read for there was never a dull moment.
Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Well said, misscookie. The two worlds are often on a collision course with each other - sometimes with deadly consequences as we have found in our multi-cultural area. Thank you so much for this gteat review! Blessings, Bev
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Your very welcome, have a blessed day, until next time.
Comment from rtobaygo
By inclusion of the reservation, you have added another dimension. I've reviewed several hundred posts over the last three years and some odd months here and at another sight, but I rarely find one with such natural dialogue and interactive characters. You have a nice blend between showing and telling. You set hooks very well Two more compliments: Great opening paragraph
The one thing Rick had learned from Jana was the importance of Indian time. He kept his eyes on his plate and waited for someone else to break the silence. (indicative of good, sound research).
Kudos!
Take care,
Ray
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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By inclusion of the reservation, you have added another dimension. I've reviewed several hundred posts over the last three years and some odd months here and at another sight, but I rarely find one with such natural dialogue and interactive characters. You have a nice blend between showing and telling. You set hooks very well Two more compliments: Great opening paragraph
The one thing Rick had learned from Jana was the importance of Indian time. He kept his eyes on his plate and waited for someone else to break the silence. (indicative of good, sound research).
Kudos!
Take care,
Ray
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Ray, I'm really honored by your kind and gracious review! You've definitely made my day as I work very hard to bring about that balance to which you refer. Even then, I can't seem to please everyone. Ah, such is the nature of the profession. Thanks again, Bev.
Comment from Cornelius2000
A fascinating chapter, with the mixture of modern investigative methods conflicting with traditional Indian culture. Morales barely maintains his cool as he and his partner try to get some practical information from the medicine man. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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A fascinating chapter, with the mixture of modern investigative methods conflicting with traditional Indian culture. Morales barely maintains his cool as he and his partner try to get some practical information from the medicine man. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, Dave. I appreciate your gracious review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from NicciFaye
Oh how I don't like dropping in on stories in the middle of a book on Fanstory. I loved the characters thus far, excellent composition of story telling. I artwork of the snake is so fitting here. Great story of what I read in this chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Oh how I don't like dropping in on stories in the middle of a book on Fanstory. I loved the characters thus far, excellent composition of story telling. I artwork of the snake is so fitting here. Great story of what I read in this chapter.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much for taking time to read, Nicci. I really appreciate your encouraging and generous review. Warmest regards, Bev
