Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "haibun (hunger and desire)"Small and Specialty Poems
6 total reviews
Comment from vkmack
This is actually a bit scary. You use the format well and create such a sense of dread bordering on a little terror. She is an evil siren. Wonderful use of the haibun. You've done a terrific job here. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2013
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This is actually a bit scary. You use the format well and create such a sense of dread bordering on a little terror. She is an evil siren. Wonderful use of the haibun. You've done a terrific job here. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2013
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Thank you vkmack.
Comment from ruzu27
This is an excellent haibun. The descriptive, terse prose is most interesting and very well written. Your haiku are 3/5/3 and twice 5/7/5.
Thank you for sharing this interesting topic.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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This is an excellent haibun. The descriptive, terse prose is most interesting and very well written. Your haiku are 3/5/3 and twice 5/7/5.
Thank you for sharing this interesting topic.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thank you ruzu.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Good morning. Excellent message on restraining desires. I'm new to this form of poetry which is indeed a challenge. Great job on your story-telling skills and using a good built in moral. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Good morning. Excellent message on restraining desires. I'm new to this form of poetry which is indeed a challenge. Great job on your story-telling skills and using a good built in moral. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much Benjamin.
Comment from bkbehera
It is a wonderful piece of work on insect behavior and presented in an impressive manner by fulfilling all the conditions required for this contest. I wish it should be one of the best entry in this contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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It is a wonderful piece of work on insect behavior and presented in an impressive manner by fulfilling all the conditions required for this contest. I wish it should be one of the best entry in this contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you bkbehere. I hope so, but don't usually do to well in contests.
Comment from Ekim777
A fascinating, macabre piece and you explain it well.The details are very sensual and there is something amusing in the way you characterize the spiders. Nature can be quite droll. But I think we need to overcome the repulsive and attempt to create some beauty, after all we are referring to God's creatures. How about this.
"More delicate than a snowflake, is a sunset
Woven by a Black Widow spinneret.
Dew dances on a dipping funnel of thread
Lovely as a gilt-edged necklace; a sihouette.
How does this awesome beast emulate an insect,
Knot the threads of nature together
And create something so intricate." =Ekim777
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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A fascinating, macabre piece and you explain it well.The details are very sensual and there is something amusing in the way you characterize the spiders. Nature can be quite droll. But I think we need to overcome the repulsive and attempt to create some beauty, after all we are referring to God's creatures. How about this.
"More delicate than a snowflake, is a sunset
Woven by a Black Widow spinneret.
Dew dances on a dipping funnel of thread
Lovely as a gilt-edged necklace; a sihouette.
How does this awesome beast emulate an insect,
Knot the threads of nature together
And create something so intricate." =Ekim777
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thanks Ekim. That's a nice piece about the web.
Comment from angelmagnet
I'm taking the class about this kind of poetry, I think it's in June. I like it, based on your work and the other examples I have read. You can say so much with this format.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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I'm taking the class about this kind of poetry, I think it's in June. I like it, based on your work and the other examples I have read. You can say so much with this format.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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Thank you angelmagnet. I don't have a clue. You think it's ok?
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it abides by the rules of the contest. You have three haiku and a short essay. Everything is about the same subject. I think that's right
