Melusina - Goddess of the Waters
A Knight breaks his promise to the Goddess.15 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
Aussie, oh my sweet friend.. this is superb and it deserves a six, but I have none at all. You have captured the essence of this art very well in your perfect quatrains to tell of a beautiful legend. You are a superb talent and the art of storytelling is your niche my friend.. most definitely... loved it!!!! jimi
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Aussie, oh my sweet friend.. this is superb and it deserves a six, but I have none at all. You have captured the essence of this art very well in your perfect quatrains to tell of a beautiful legend. You are a superb talent and the art of storytelling is your niche my friend.. most definitely... loved it!!!! jimi
Comment Written 03-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2013
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Hello Mrs. Pickles, Thanks so much for reading;glad you liked the story (I didn't like the illustration) blessings for you - I love storytelling. Love, Kay.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Aussie ...
This is well written about the surprising and mythical subject of the Goddess of the Waters. Such fantasy is something that pales to nothingness for me because my thoughts are filled with the reality of the One True Living God.
There is nothing to suggest changing. As this is a Contest entry and the very unusual picture was supplied, I wish you success with this work.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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Hullo Aussie ...
This is well written about the surprising and mythical subject of the Goddess of the Waters. Such fantasy is something that pales to nothingness for me because my thoughts are filled with the reality of the One True Living God.
There is nothing to suggest changing. As this is a Contest entry and the very unusual picture was supplied, I wish you success with this work.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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Unusual picture is right (I didn't like it at all) however, one needed to write a poem to go with it for the contest! Thank you for reading my friend. Love, Kay.
Comment from Black_Oxygen
Well Done ~ Kay
The poetry flows like Melusina. The rhymes are nicely
placed and it is easy to read. It held my interest
from start to finish. Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Well Done ~ Kay
The poetry flows like Melusina. The rhymes are nicely
placed and it is easy to read. It held my interest
from start to finish. Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hello and thank you for reviewing; so pleased that you liked the story/poem. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from jmdg1954
Wow... What a great poem told like it was a story. I found it interesting and coupling it with your notes simply solidified it.
Good rhyming pattern and a cadence that read well keeping the reader continuing on.
Worthy of a six!!! John
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Wow... What a great poem told like it was a story. I found it interesting and coupling it with your notes simply solidified it.
Good rhyming pattern and a cadence that read well keeping the reader continuing on.
Worthy of a six!!! John
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hey John, Thanks so much for reading and glad you enjoyed the story/poem that had to match the dreadful illustration of some old water witch! Blessings, Kay.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi K,
You have captured the essence of the picture with your descriptive words. You author's notes were most helpful. Your rhyming pattern is excellent, the flow is smooth, good expression, good alliteration in beauty/beguiles and the theme is superb. Well done and good luck in the contest. Virtual six!...blessings, chey
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hi K,
You have captured the essence of the picture with your descriptive words. You author's notes were most helpful. Your rhyming pattern is excellent, the flow is smooth, good expression, good alliteration in beauty/beguiles and the theme is superb. Well done and good luck in the contest. Virtual six!...blessings, chey
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hi Chey, Thanks for reading, glad you liked; dreadful illustration to match my story/poem to! Thanks for the virtual sixer - most appreciated. Love, K.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You clever girl! What a brilliant contest entry. She certainly looks as if she could be Melusina. You have crafted this extremely well, Kay, it was a worthy six and a pleasure to read. Good luck in the contest!! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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You clever girl! What a brilliant contest entry. She certainly looks as if she could be Melusina. You have crafted this extremely well, Kay, it was a worthy six and a pleasure to read. Good luck in the contest!! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hello Easter Bunny, Thanks so much for reading; dreadful illustration to match my story/poem to - finally pulled it together. Hope you had a lovely Easter sunny bunny. Cheers, K XX
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Aussie
You have a fantastic entry for the contest. This image is so intriguing, haunting and ghostly, yet somehow real as well. You have chosen an excellent concept and your poem has executed this extremely interesting love story/myth with true aplomb.
Your charming quatrains have a perfect abab rhyme scheme. Excellent rhythm ... I did find one little glitch in "- rising flow" ... I feel the rhythm stalled a little here, and I am a little confused as to the meaning. I have re-read your poem aloud and found I faltered in the same spot. Would you consider "rising slow"? Anyway just my thoughts, I may be misreading your intention.
One typo: last verse, first line "virgin Knight" - you need to capitalize the 'v' as in "Virgin".
I love the romantic and tragic story - great info in your notes.
Good luck in the contest. A very interesting one. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hi Aussie
You have a fantastic entry for the contest. This image is so intriguing, haunting and ghostly, yet somehow real as well. You have chosen an excellent concept and your poem has executed this extremely interesting love story/myth with true aplomb.
Your charming quatrains have a perfect abab rhyme scheme. Excellent rhythm ... I did find one little glitch in "- rising flow" ... I feel the rhythm stalled a little here, and I am a little confused as to the meaning. I have re-read your poem aloud and found I faltered in the same spot. Would you consider "rising slow"? Anyway just my thoughts, I may be misreading your intention.
One typo: last verse, first line "virgin Knight" - you need to capitalize the 'v' as in "Virgin".
I love the romantic and tragic story - great info in your notes.
Good luck in the contest. A very interesting one. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Lovi, I meant it to stall to make the reader think; thanks for editing and I will consider your changes. Bless you, Kay.
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Dear Kay
i just read your poem again ... it really is exceptional. I wish I had a six. I can see why it was on the front page and a popular one. I haven't read any of the other entries yet, though I think you stand a great chance of high placement. You have chosen an interesting myth and told the story so well. Would be nice to see more of your work.
I wanted to check I hadn't mis-read. I see you decided to change ..... I think it works well. :)
How are you anyway?? I have been remiss in my communications and slow in reviewing and replying. My mum is not so well and we may lose her soon. I have been spending loads of time with her and I have to travel one hour at least each way, and I have no computer there, so I cannot even pop on when she is resting. Frustrating. Then of course, to earn the dollars to post takes time as well.
I hope you enjoyed your Easter and had family to visit ... I seem to remember you live some distance away. Freaky weather we have been having? Did you get the cyclones? I hope no damage.
Take care and keep safe. Huge Hugs - Lovi xoxo
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Lovi, Write to me at kays@tadaust.org.au. I am thinking of you looking after your Mum. I have been in the same situation, she died in 91. I don't have any family my friend, just my carer and friend who lives with me. Please write to my private emai address above. I would like to talk to you. Love, Kay XXX
Comment from Carole Rosa
Kace, This is a very interesting and educational read. You must research before writing a poem and this indicates the professionalism of your abilities. Nice art work! Carole
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Kace, This is a very interesting and educational read. You must research before writing a poem and this indicates the professionalism of your abilities. Nice art work! Carole
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hello Carlole, Yes, I do research every subject I use to write about. I am so pleased that you enjoyed the legend - the illustration freaked me out! Bless you, Kay.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
This is true? It's not something I've studied about. Very interesting piece. Interesting picture too. Good job my dear. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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This is true? It's not something I've studied about. Very interesting piece. Interesting picture too. Good job my dear. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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G'day Evelyn, A story in legend only. I had to match a poem to that dreadful illustration (well, I didn't like it at all) and it was written for a contest so.... Bless you for reading my friend. Kay XXX
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I'm so glad you didn't like that picture. I don't how many pieces I've review that have used it. I just figured it was some kind of challenge or something. God loves you and so do I.
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We had to write a poem that was in some way about the dreadful illustration; from my artist's point of view - yuk! :-D
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting poem. I loved the mythology behind this poem. It has a very nice flow. THe word choice is very strong.
Barbara
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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This is a very interesting poem. I loved the mythology behind this poem. It has a very nice flow. THe word choice is very strong.
Barbara
Comment Written 31-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
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Hi Barbara, Thanks so much for reading; had to match a story/poem to the illustration. Bless you, Kay.
