Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 94 " MMA"Assorted poetry
7 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Nine gamblers were assembled to bet on a fight - is this some tiny little fight at a local gym?
Your poem is in good syllable count and structure for the nonet
I'm not really familiar with fighting other than watching a few championships on TV years ago - they play fifes?
good alliteration in before the bout
Why is it too bad someone won? because it made the fight too short?
Brooke
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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Nine gamblers were assembled to bet on a fight - is this some tiny little fight at a local gym?
Your poem is in good syllable count and structure for the nonet
I'm not really familiar with fighting other than watching a few championships on TV years ago - they play fifes?
good alliteration in before the bout
Why is it too bad someone won? because it made the fight too short?
Brooke
Comment Written 03-May-2013
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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I'm afraid you peer too deeply into this shallow pond. Ennead (9), octagon (8), it's even (7), half a dozen (6), fifes (5), before (4), three (3), too (2), won (1). Thank you for reviewing and for expecting more. Bill
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sorry, I missed what was going on with the numbers word play :-)
Comment from Staplesque
This is a really creative and interesting poem. I like the numbers hidden in each line. I did find the "story" a bit hard to understand, but I guess that's not the point of this poem, so that's minor. I wish I could have rated this 4.5 stars, because the only real mistake I saw was "fife's" which should probably be "fifes"; no apostrophe for plurals! Otherwise this is excellent! Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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This is a really creative and interesting poem. I like the numbers hidden in each line. I did find the "story" a bit hard to understand, but I guess that's not the point of this poem, so that's minor. I wish I could have rated this 4.5 stars, because the only real mistake I saw was "fife's" which should probably be "fifes"; no apostrophe for plurals! Otherwise this is excellent! Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Right you are. I can only think that I changed the line that once called for a possessive. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
This may sound stupid but I'm 86 years old. I haven't been in school for 73 years. Is Enread another style of poetry..it being a group of 9 makes me think it could be the name of a card game. It's a nice poem. I best stick to what I know best, my book and short stories. My life story is on amazon.com. Janie read an excerpt of my book for Youtube. You might enjoy it. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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This may sound stupid but I'm 86 years old. I haven't been in school for 73 years. Is Enread another style of poetry..it being a group of 9 makes me think it could be the name of a card game. It's a nice poem. I best stick to what I know best, my book and short stories. My life story is on amazon.com. Janie read an excerpt of my book for Youtube. You might enjoy it. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. I take a look at your book.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In great assembly of nine in the group and half a dozen wagers did play their wagering or betting for the fight, ultimately one won after the punches, this Nonet speaks the human nature and achievement well, I enjoyed. 4/015
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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In great assembly of nine in the group and half a dozen wagers did play their wagering or betting for the fight, ultimately one won after the punches, this Nonet speaks the human nature and achievement well, I enjoyed. 4/015
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Thank you for the excellent review. I am flattered.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Bill, creative nonet my friend. Loved the visual with using octagon as your imagery - also liked your last three lines - left me wondering if I wasn't understanding this work. Still don't know - but the fact that you have me trying to go deeper into the poem I think powers it up some. Makes me think, raw power in a poem is a nice change of read.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Hi Bill, creative nonet my friend. Loved the visual with using octagon as your imagery - also liked your last three lines - left me wondering if I wasn't understanding this work. Still don't know - but the fact that you have me trying to go deeper into the poem I think powers it up some. Makes me think, raw power in a poem is a nice change of read.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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At the risk of detracting from the nice comments you gave, the nonet is trying capture the impressions of the numbers counted down from nine. Ennead is a group of nine, octogon, it'(s even),
Half a dozen, Fife, be(fore), three, too, won. Wish it were deeper.
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Well crap - I missed that completely! Now that you explain it and I read it again I see it - wouldn't have at all if you didn't explain it to me - sorry dear Bill, I somehow flunked:D
Hugs
Maureen
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good poem I like this I like the theme and the fight very well written I like the picture good luck in the contest thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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This is a good poem I like this I like the theme and the fight very well written I like the picture good luck in the contest thank you for sharing
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does a good job of delivering a message that is clear and to the point. The photo compliments the piece well as the words bring the photo to life. My attention is held from start to finish. Good job.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2013
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The writer does a good job of delivering a message that is clear and to the point. The photo compliments the piece well as the words bring the photo to life. My attention is held from start to finish. Good job.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2013
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Thank you for reviewing.
