Comment from Abby Wilson-hand

Excellent

YOU HAVE AN AMAZING WRITE HERE
I WOULD HAVE SO GIVEN YOU A SIX
BUT I'M ALL OUT OF THEM HOPE TO DEE MORE
OF YOUR WRITING WELL DONE MY FRIEND

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017

Thank you!
Curt

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Amazing truthful lines and a worthy entry for Poem of the month, I wish you luck, I particularly liked the line: 'of liberty for all to see inside a soulless shell', love Dolly x

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017

Thanks Dolly!
Curt

Comment from Mustang Patty

Good

Hi;
the message within the words of your poem are illuminating. It is oftentimes easy to forget all of the things we pass through.

I'm not sure where the 'alliteration' is, as I do not see repeating consonant sounds.

You changed tense within the first stanza, and several of your rhyming words aren't true rhymes - for example; 'about' and 'shouts.' The ending 's' changes the syllable accent.

If you go back and edit, please let me know and I will re-review,

~patty~

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Aug-2017

Thanks for your thoughts,
Curt

Comment from pipersfancy

Excellent

Your use of the term "the killing fields" had me envisioning the Cambodian blood bath of the Khmer Rouge in the 70's. Then again, there have been many blood baths perpetrated upon many people, always under the hands of man...

Compelling and thought provoking,
pf

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

So true my friend, so true. And as long as the powers that be can send someone else's sons out to die, it will continue.
Thanks for your thoughts,
Curt

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem. By the hands of man much sufferings start to become a daily norm. We want to play God and that is when we ruin our lives as well as other's whose lives we try to run.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017

I agree Sandra. Thank you for your thoughts.
Curt

Comment from nbonner

Excellent

Very well written. We as people seem to always have something to fight about which usually draws blood. But in the end it was nothing to squabble over. Pointless acts. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017

Thank you,
Curt

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Poem tends to mix present and past tenses.

For example:

The first line is present tense, and the use of the word "saw" makes the second line past tense. To keep them the same should probably use the word "see".

Should make an interesting entry into this contest.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017

Thanks for the thoughts, I'll look at that.
Curt

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Exceptional

As a Christian, this poem moved me deeply, Curt -
the story it tells and the message it gives all cleverly included -
and good internal rhyme: died with pride - begotten had forgotten.....

all in all, most impressive.

Blessings,
Margaret

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017

Thank you Margaret,
I'm so glad you could see the message. For those who have ears, let them hear.
Your words and rating mean so much, coming from one I respect and admire.
Curt

Comment from Mitchell Brontė

Excellent

Hi Curt
I like poems which are down to the interpretation of the reader and this one said to me that the wars and evils of the world can always be overcome with ones faith.
Really enjoyed this poem, which flowed effortlessly,
lovely rhythm and lines throughout, stitched together fantastically well
which enables your words to sell themselves to the reader.
I particularly enjoyed the imagery shown which paints such a vivid picture in the mind......an excellent poem, that was a pleasure to read.
Mitchell

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017

Thank you so much Mitchell,
Your thoughts are definitely appreciated.
Curt

Comment from NadineM

Excellent

I must've read this ages ago when first written. A thought that crossed my mind while I was reading is... I wonder how many of the people I know personally, who have had similar horrific experiences as you, know each other in real life... Now wouldn't that be interesting to reunite under healthier circumstances? Interesting, however frightening for many reasons too. I appreciate your honest messages of sharing some painful details of a past nobody should have to endure. Your courage and strength is honored. You write vividly, drawing this reader in with your words and evoking strong emotions. Thanks for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2017

Hi Nadine,
Yes, this is from years ago, when I was still a sprout in my 40's. I revived it because it still has a lot of meaning for me in this present time.
Thanks so much for your thoughts my friend,
Curt