Again
ABAB Poem60 total reviews
Comment from evesayshi
To me, a lovely work of lasting love - romantic and sensitive in the telling - plaintive and melancholy, but emotionally charged and inviting - the rhyme and rhythm are well constructed, within a soft and easy style - I enjoyed the read in its sincere beauty...
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
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To me, a lovely work of lasting love - romantic and sensitive in the telling - plaintive and melancholy, but emotionally charged and inviting - the rhyme and rhythm are well constructed, within a soft and easy style - I enjoyed the read in its sincere beauty...
Comment Written 03-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2015
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Well, hello there evesayshi. I truly appreciate that you took the time to read and thoroughly review my words. Your enjoyment has made my morning and I can now go back and wrestle with my current piece with a much better attitude. How in the world did you find this one, buried under more than a year of poetry? - Wendy
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And hello to you, rosehill,
You are so welcome - it was easy to find - I just looked for Romance poetry on the site and found this gem...
Comment from amanda98653
A very beautiful love story.
"
They'd met as children; summers by the shore
left footprints waves and time could not erase.
A first kiss flowed from friendship's deep rapport,
which surging tides of love would soon embrace."-fav stanza
This sounds very much like how my parents met.
I luv ur poem.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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A very beautiful love story.
"
They'd met as children; summers by the shore
left footprints waves and time could not erase.
A first kiss flowed from friendship's deep rapport,
which surging tides of love would soon embrace."-fav stanza
This sounds very much like how my parents met.
I luv ur poem.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Good Morning Amanda. I am so glad that you found my poem. I thought it was long buried in my portfolio somewhere. A couple who were staying at my B & B told me the story of meeting first as young children and then at the shore every summer on the Outer Banks. I couldn't resist. I appreciate your sharing what was your favorite as it helps me in future writing. - Wendy
Comment from DR DIP
that is absolutely bloody beautiful..this site has opened up to me some beautiful wordsmiths. it is a pleasure to read. I have a soft spot for rhyming poetry and love the flow of ABAB rhyme. the secret is in the way the reader captures the meter and beat of the poem. if that is not achieved then the full potential and emotion of the poem is not reached. I know how i like this to be read and I'm sure that you as the author would obviously know the nuances and the strategic pausing that can make this poem the gem it is ,
congratulations rose...AGAIN! lol
dip
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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that is absolutely bloody beautiful..this site has opened up to me some beautiful wordsmiths. it is a pleasure to read. I have a soft spot for rhyming poetry and love the flow of ABAB rhyme. the secret is in the way the reader captures the meter and beat of the poem. if that is not achieved then the full potential and emotion of the poem is not reached. I know how i like this to be read and I'm sure that you as the author would obviously know the nuances and the strategic pausing that can make this poem the gem it is ,
congratulations rose...AGAIN! lol
dip
Comment Written 10-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Hello good Dr. I appreciate your taking the time to read and review my work and for your kind words. I, too, prefer the rhythm and rhyme forms, but have branched out since jumping aboard here a year ago. I am curious as to what led you to that long-ago posted poem? I hope to hop over and give your stuff a look later this week when work slows down. Thanks, again . . .Wendy
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A pleasure Wendy, a pleasure!..I have posted 52 poems since coming here last month. I have thoroughly enjoyed this site and the critiques i have received. No one before coming here had said boo about my stuff, so it's a whole new world for me
thanks again for being so encouraging
xxdip
Comment from snemes
Oh my goodness, I just ran out of six stars before I read this! I absolutely love your beautiful, amazing poem. What a wonderful thought. It made me cry in the way that my favorite romantic movies make me cry with the sheer splendor of such a love. I am truly impressed by the perfection of this poem. It's one of the rare ones that stay with you long after you read it.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Oh my goodness, I just ran out of six stars before I read this! I absolutely love your beautiful, amazing poem. What a wonderful thought. It made me cry in the way that my favorite romantic movies make me cry with the sheer splendor of such a love. I am truly impressed by the perfection of this poem. It's one of the rare ones that stay with you long after you read it.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my words. Of course, I have no idea what happens when we give up this world, but wouldn't it be wonderful if my little scenario were true. I appreciate the mention of the sixth star and will take a raincheck on it. - Wendy
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I haven't found much I wanted to review this morning but I like your poem Rose. I can relate to it and I understand the feelings you are conveying Well done. It rhymes and flows naturally. Nancy
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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I haven't found much I wanted to review this morning but I like your poem Rose. I can relate to it and I understand the feelings you are conveying Well done. It rhymes and flows naturally. Nancy
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Thank you Nancy, for your time in reading and reviewing my words. I am glad you liked it. --Wendy
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well written my friend a sad but again beautiful story in this poem that reads very well good luck in the contest well done sorry late reviewing friend I am still little under weather regards Jill
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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This is very well written my friend a sad but again beautiful story in this poem that reads very well good luck in the contest well done sorry late reviewing friend I am still little under weather regards Jill
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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. . .and the message of your continued success not smoking and still managing to lose weight has me extremely jealous. Your happy poet seems to be the perfect fit for you. and that makes me very pleased that you seem to have found a very good one.
Comment from Warren Rodgers
Good morning Wendy,
What a wonderfully sweet poem you have shared with us! Brilliantly told story with just the right progression. I love how you blend the past and present along with the hereafter. This is the story all loving hearts want to hear. Love and devotion will last forever and the responsibilities will eventually turn into rewards.
There are many wonderful passages in your poem with many alliterations and beautifully descriptions. A few of my favorites are "sand-swept toes", "shell-strewn shores of memory", and "blue-jeaned boy". The whole piece speaks to me about true love and devotion"
Superb write and a sixer all the way! Thanks for sharing, great writing.
All the best, Rodger
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Good morning Wendy,
What a wonderfully sweet poem you have shared with us! Brilliantly told story with just the right progression. I love how you blend the past and present along with the hereafter. This is the story all loving hearts want to hear. Love and devotion will last forever and the responsibilities will eventually turn into rewards.
There are many wonderful passages in your poem with many alliterations and beautifully descriptions. A few of my favorites are "sand-swept toes", "shell-strewn shores of memory", and "blue-jeaned boy". The whole piece speaks to me about true love and devotion"
Superb write and a sixer all the way! Thanks for sharing, great writing.
All the best, Rodger
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Good morning to you Rodger, I will give a more detailed answer when my high-maintenance guests head out, but thank you for the great review and the yummy sixth.- Wendy
Comment from rama devi
Wonderful story-poem, rich in nuance of both poetic devices and strong emotional overtones. The rhyming is truly exceptional, too! Excellent flow.
NOTES-
She flies across the dunes on sand-swept toes
and laughs at nothing, relishing the sound.
Rejoicing as the years are shed like clothes,
surprised to find her hair has come unbound.
Wonderful opening. Captures the 'tone' of the scene and also is phrased in eloquent, musically rich style! Drew me right in. Fine flow and rhyming. Clothes and toes--brilliantly inventive.
She shouts his name with youth's unbridled glee;
no longer matronly or circumspect.
Along the shell-strewn shores of memory,
quiescent tide pools filled with love collect.
Again superb flow and rhyming with excellent alliteration of SH and consonance of S too. Collect and circumspect--brilliant rhyming!
They'd met as children; summers by the shore
left footprints waves and time could not erase.
A first kiss flowed from friendship's deep rapport,
which surging tides of love would soon replace.
Wonderful! Continued eloquent and elegance, too...love the rhymes, the mood and the imagery. Rapport and shore--wow, what a fresh rhyme pair! The footprint metaphor is wonderful, too. Nice parallel of surging tides of love.
For fifteen years his absence filled her days.
No matter where she lay, an empty bed.
Such measured heaviness of spirit weighs
against the sixty years that they were wed.
Another brilliantly composed stanza. tight and polished. Weighs and days--superb rhyme!
Her heartbeat flutters wildly at the last.
How sad those gathered round can't feel her joy
as through the seasons of her girlhood past
she races to embrace the blue-jeaned boy.
Pitch perfect closing!
Enjoyed this read aloud with outstanding musicality and phonetics. Lovely presentation as well.
Kudos and bravo. A rare six for you!
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Wonderful story-poem, rich in nuance of both poetic devices and strong emotional overtones. The rhyming is truly exceptional, too! Excellent flow.
NOTES-
She flies across the dunes on sand-swept toes
and laughs at nothing, relishing the sound.
Rejoicing as the years are shed like clothes,
surprised to find her hair has come unbound.
Wonderful opening. Captures the 'tone' of the scene and also is phrased in eloquent, musically rich style! Drew me right in. Fine flow and rhyming. Clothes and toes--brilliantly inventive.
She shouts his name with youth's unbridled glee;
no longer matronly or circumspect.
Along the shell-strewn shores of memory,
quiescent tide pools filled with love collect.
Again superb flow and rhyming with excellent alliteration of SH and consonance of S too. Collect and circumspect--brilliant rhyming!
They'd met as children; summers by the shore
left footprints waves and time could not erase.
A first kiss flowed from friendship's deep rapport,
which surging tides of love would soon replace.
Wonderful! Continued eloquent and elegance, too...love the rhymes, the mood and the imagery. Rapport and shore--wow, what a fresh rhyme pair! The footprint metaphor is wonderful, too. Nice parallel of surging tides of love.
For fifteen years his absence filled her days.
No matter where she lay, an empty bed.
Such measured heaviness of spirit weighs
against the sixty years that they were wed.
Another brilliantly composed stanza. tight and polished. Weighs and days--superb rhyme!
Her heartbeat flutters wildly at the last.
How sad those gathered round can't feel her joy
as through the seasons of her girlhood past
she races to embrace the blue-jeaned boy.
Pitch perfect closing!
Enjoyed this read aloud with outstanding musicality and phonetics. Lovely presentation as well.
Kudos and bravo. A rare six for you!
Love,
rd
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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I am so very flattered by your review and your rating. I especially appreciate your comments on my rhymes. It is very important to me that rhymes stay fresh and pure.( you will never see me try and match clover and lover) and I am particularly proud of my sound matching. I think you will have me smiling all day. - Wendy
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Wish that this site would allow me now to give your poem the six stars it deserves. What vivid imagery you have created here with your words, as well as such lovely sentiments. It was both happy and sad. She had a great love but now just has the memories of that love.
Thank you for sharing this poem!
Connie aka bichonfrisegirl
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Wish that this site would allow me now to give your poem the six stars it deserves. What vivid imagery you have created here with your words, as well as such lovely sentiments. It was both happy and sad. She had a great love but now just has the memories of that love.
Thank you for sharing this poem!
Connie aka bichonfrisegirl
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Hello bichonfrisegirl from a lhasa apso momma. Welcome to FanStory and thank you for taking the time to read my work. I am so glad that you liked my poem and I will take a raincheck on that sixth star. Of course, no one knows what happens when we pass, but wouldn't it be fun if my little scenario were true?
Comment from visionary1234
WENDY! THIS IS DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS! Flawless rhyme & rhythm, a sad/happy/wistful story you've created here. Have you ever seen the Australian painting "The Sea Hath Its Pearls?" I think you'd like it. No way I can't give you a SIX for this one - it's stunning.
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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WENDY! THIS IS DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS! Flawless rhyme & rhythm, a sad/happy/wistful story you've created here. Have you ever seen the Australian painting "The Sea Hath Its Pearls?" I think you'd like it. No way I can't give you a SIX for this one - it's stunning.
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Wow, I just jumped on Google and saw the painting. I certainly can see why it came to mind. I am so glad you liked this piece. I actually spent more time on this one than any other in quite a while. It just didn't seem to fit together and I couldn't come up with a fix that I loved. I forgot about it for several months then went back in to take a look at some old stuff because I couldn't think of a thing to write that was new. This time the words just jumped out of my head. I think maybe I have learned a lesson here and should always let something marinate for a bit. We will have to stop giving each other sixes though or Tom will think we have begun a mutual admiration society and lost our objectivity. I can't help it if I love the way you write. - Wendy
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me neither - I love the way you write, too! But I try to be pretty careful apportioning my sixes - and dammit, if something REALLY should have a six, then it REALLY SHOULD HAVE A SIX! :)))s Glad you enjoyed the painting. I think it was your old-fashioned pic you chose as your art work that brought this painting to mind. I got visit it each time I'm in Sydney. It hangs in the N.S.W. Art gallery and is part of a wonderful walk I like to do whenever I'm there. (I wear out a lot of shoe-leather). :)
