If only...
Missed the Monorhyme deadline. Oh, shoot!36 total reviews
Comment from Cornelius2000
Sorry you missed the deadline....surely this would have taken the prize. Nice job of rhyming with all the "oots," and still making sense of it all. The first two lines made me think of Tevye, in "Fiddler on the Roof," singing, "If I were a Rich Man." (I played that part in a local theater production many years ago). Thanks for a "fun" read.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013
  |
Sorry you missed the deadline....surely this would have taken the prize. Nice job of rhyming with all the "oots," and still making sense of it all. The first two lines made me think of Tevye, in "Fiddler on the Roof," singing, "If I were a Rich Man." (I played that part in a local theater production many years ago). Thanks for a "fun" read.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013
-
Hey, tough job in the lead role - all I could manage was mendel the rabbi;s son, keen on one of Tevye's daughters, with one line and singing in the chorus.
Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
-
Yup, Tevye is on stage most of the play. It about wore me out, but I was much younger then. That's great that you were in the show.
Comment from Cool Beans
It is a shame that you missed the deadline for the poetry contest because this is amazing.
great internal rhyming and flow.
The poem has great rhythm throughout and the writing takes the audience on a Tigger- type ride as the bucket list get checked off.
Thanks for sharing CB
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013
|
It is a shame that you missed the deadline for the poetry contest because this is amazing.
great internal rhyming and flow.
The poem has great rhythm throughout and the writing takes the audience on a Tigger- type ride as the bucket list get checked off.
Thanks for sharing CB
Comment Written 22-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013
-
Thank you, CB
Steve
Comment from Sally Carter
Another gem. You are on a roll at the moment. I love this, especially that cheeky little s that crept into the next line. You totally got me; I was just thinking, cahoot singular?? but you'd pre-empted the question.
What a pity you missed the deadline. This would surely have aced it.
Your monorhyme is crisp and cute.
I'd caper like a tipsy newt,
play leapfrog with a bandicoot,
support your fluting with my lute,
turn cartwheels down the road, to boot -
if I had penned this little beaut.
Best wishes
Sal
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013
 |
Another gem. You are on a roll at the moment. I love this, especially that cheeky little s that crept into the next line. You totally got me; I was just thinking, cahoot singular?? but you'd pre-empted the question.
What a pity you missed the deadline. This would surely have aced it.
Your monorhyme is crisp and cute.
I'd caper like a tipsy newt,
play leapfrog with a bandicoot,
support your fluting with my lute,
turn cartwheels down the road, to boot -
if I had penned this little beaut.
Best wishes
Sal
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013
-
Hah! I should have got bandicoot - pesky little critters were all around us in Oz...
Many thanks for the sixer and may I say it is a joke that Cheezel has more votes than your sestina in POM - not thateither of us has a chance of catching God!
Steve
-
Chortle... thanks Steve.
:~)
Comment from Deborah Marie
Interesting photo choice but, I like it. Beautifully written descriptive monorhyme poem containing impressive imagery. Clever wording, indeed. Progression, rhythm and flow are impressive lending to an excellentd read. Peace, Deb
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
|
Interesting photo choice but, I like it. Beautifully written descriptive monorhyme poem containing impressive imagery. Clever wording, indeed. Progression, rhythm and flow are impressive lending to an excellentd read. Peace, Deb
Comment Written 20-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
-
Deb, thanks so much for the kind words and the six stars.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
I'd say your poem's pretty cute!
An entertaining monorhyme - humorous
and fun...too bad you missed the contest.
this one would have done well.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
|
I'd say your poem's pretty cute!
An entertaining monorhyme - humorous
and fun...too bad you missed the contest.
this one would have done well.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
-
Thanks, Nancy.
Steve
Comment from Spitfire
A great bucket list but as you say, it's takes money.
Love: parachuting naked-- that would give the birds a fright.LOL
Second stanza --boyish pranks ,second childhood, or maybe just dirty old man!
Third stanza, solve some serious problems.
Forth -- even your computer is doubtful about that.
Well, since it's a moot point, you can dream all you want.
A fun read, steve.
Shari
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
|
A great bucket list but as you say, it's takes money.
Love: parachuting naked-- that would give the birds a fright.LOL
Second stanza --boyish pranks ,second childhood, or maybe just dirty old man!
Third stanza, solve some serious problems.
Forth -- even your computer is doubtful about that.
Well, since it's a moot point, you can dream all you want.
A fun read, steve.
Shari
Comment Written 19-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
-
Thanks, Shari - glad you enjoyed my wish list.
Steve
Comment from Joannforsberg
LOL. Clap, clap, clap. Very funny. So sorry you missed the deadline as this is a excellent poem. Well, well written. JO
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
|
LOL. Clap, clap, clap. Very funny. So sorry you missed the deadline as this is a excellent poem. Well, well written. JO
Comment Written 19-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
-
Thanks so much for your kind words.
Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
Hahaha! What a charming and hilarious monorhyme, and such innovative ideas you've penned! Your rhyme is brilliant and the metering is perfect and suits it so well. I loved every word, and wish you hadn't missed the deadline!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
|
Hahaha! What a charming and hilarious monorhyme, and such innovative ideas you've penned! Your rhyme is brilliant and the metering is perfect and suits it so well. I loved every word, and wish you hadn't missed the deadline!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
-
Thanks, Dawn - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
-
You are so welcome. :)
Comment from steevie
It was an interesting write, steve. There were a couple funny moments for sure.
All in all though, I've seem you write much better poems.
This was an escape effort and I get that. I look forward to your more serious poetry, not that all your poems are serious in nature ... LOL
Take care
steve
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
|
It was an interesting write, steve. There were a couple funny moments for sure.
All in all though, I've seem you write much better poems.
This was an escape effort and I get that. I look forward to your more serious poetry, not that all your poems are serious in nature ... LOL
Take care
steve
Comment Written 19-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
-
OK sorry you didn't go for this one - don't worry there will always be more , serious and silly.
Steve
-
awesome, Steve
i look forward to them
smiles
steve
Comment from EMB
LOL This was a light-hearted and fun poem to read, but beneath the surface lies an important message of living life to the fullest while you can. I enjoyed the bucket list, but I'm not so sure about the naked parachuting. It doesn't sound comfortable at all. :)
Very nice.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
|
LOL This was a light-hearted and fun poem to read, but beneath the surface lies an important message of living life to the fullest while you can. I enjoyed the bucket list, but I'm not so sure about the naked parachuting. It doesn't sound comfortable at all. :)
Very nice.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2013
-
It all depends which part of your anatomy you strap the parachute to!
Thanks for stopping by.
Steve
