Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Prayer"Personal poems
17 total reviews
Comment from trimple
I completely understand how useless one can feel in the face of such dreadful dire straights.
My husband is paralyzed from the chest down
due to a push me pull you fall from a balcony six stories up whilst enjoying a party celebrating his friends 25th birthday.
Although I am not a believer of any Gods, It is sometimes a prayer of sorts that I wish he didn't have to suffer so.
Alas life must do as it always does and continue onwards.
Again you express your ability to explore different types of poetry.
The deep blue for me anyway seems to represent a stillness and never ending, however the lighter blue suggests a light at the end of the pain in the ass tunnel of life's ups n downs.
Great poem, playing tribute to a friend and lover.
Thank you for sharing
trimple
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2013
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I completely understand how useless one can feel in the face of such dreadful dire straights.
My husband is paralyzed from the chest down
due to a push me pull you fall from a balcony six stories up whilst enjoying a party celebrating his friends 25th birthday.
Although I am not a believer of any Gods, It is sometimes a prayer of sorts that I wish he didn't have to suffer so.
Alas life must do as it always does and continue onwards.
Again you express your ability to explore different types of poetry.
The deep blue for me anyway seems to represent a stillness and never ending, however the lighter blue suggests a light at the end of the pain in the ass tunnel of life's ups n downs.
Great poem, playing tribute to a friend and lover.
Thank you for sharing
trimple
Comment Written 11-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2013
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Thank you for sharing that. I see you do know the helpless feeling I was expressing. As usual your review is thorough and thoughtful. Thank you.
Comment from squid152
Have you tried acupunture? I am sure you have. I used to have back pain, then I lost 40 pounds and it went away. If only God would pass the cup... that sets my on fire. So clever you are with your format. You got talent man. Keep it coming. I think you just inspired my next poem.-Gary
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2013
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Have you tried acupunture? I am sure you have. I used to have back pain, then I lost 40 pounds and it went away. If only God would pass the cup... that sets my on fire. So clever you are with your format. You got talent man. Keep it coming. I think you just inspired my next poem.-Gary
Comment Written 09-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2013
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Thank you Gary. Have not tried that yet. She did have stomach surgery and lost 114 pounds, which helped for about 9 months., but then it dame back. The thought is one we've been mulling over.
Glad you liked the format.
Comment from tembim
I really enjoyed your poem. It gave an insight as to how much you love your spouse and how you wish that you could take their pain away. You made an appeal to God for help since there was nothing that you could do to help her but knew that he could. It seems that you are a person is genuine and truly cares about your partner.
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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
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I really enjoyed your poem. It gave an insight as to how much you love your spouse and how you wish that you could take their pain away. You made an appeal to God for help since there was nothing that you could do to help her but knew that he could. It seems that you are a person is genuine and truly cares about your partner.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from Scribbler67
This is a very emotive poem, and the format you have constructed suits it perfectly. Definitely a prayer from the heart, and the words you have used clearly express your
frustration and feelings of helplessness.
I cannot offer any suggestions as to how to ease the pain, but this little anecdote may help.
A friend suffered back pain for years, until it was recently discovered that the pain was being caused by a trapped nerve in his hip, which turned out to be arthritic. He was able to get a hip replacement, and is now pain free.
I sincerely hope your prayer will be answered soon.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
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This is a very emotive poem, and the format you have constructed suits it perfectly. Definitely a prayer from the heart, and the words you have used clearly express your
frustration and feelings of helplessness.
I cannot offer any suggestions as to how to ease the pain, but this little anecdote may help.
A friend suffered back pain for years, until it was recently discovered that the pain was being caused by a trapped nerve in his hip, which turned out to be arthritic. He was able to get a hip replacement, and is now pain free.
I sincerely hope your prayer will be answered soon.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much for you kind words and an interesting thought.
Comment from rod007
Excellent my friend and I suffer form debilitating back pain at times and today was a bad day for me had really bad low back pain. I wrote a poem about it which I will release tomorrow, Please read it to your wife. My best regards.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
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Excellent my friend and I suffer form debilitating back pain at times and today was a bad day for me had really bad low back pain. I wrote a poem about it which I will release tomorrow, Please read it to your wife. My best regards.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
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OK, looking forward to it.
Comment from ramfire
Your Octave is heart rendering. That your wife has good days is great and I'm thankful they are there to help you live through your pain. The picture is so in keeping. Hope your new year brings you blessings from Christ.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
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Your Octave is heart rendering. That your wife has good days is great and I'm thankful they are there to help you live through your pain. The picture is so in keeping. Hope your new year brings you blessings from Christ.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2013
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Thank you so very much for your review and well wishes.
Comment from poetbear
I am sorry about her ailment.
I wish you both the best.
This is well written and makes sense.
It is sometimes the best way to deal with many issues especially health.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
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I am sorry about her ailment.
I wish you both the best.
This is well written and makes sense.
It is sometimes the best way to deal with many issues especially health.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
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Thank you some much poet bear for your review and kind thoughts.
Comment from adewpearl
in pain for which I cannot heal - I would drop the "for"
good alliteration in broken back
good consonance of hard C sounds in kiss/comes/aching
Soulful and intense expression of heartfelt emotion in this plea for one's lover's healing and comfort :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
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in pain for which I cannot heal - I would drop the "for"
good alliteration in broken back
good consonance of hard C sounds in kiss/comes/aching
Soulful and intense expression of heartfelt emotion in this plea for one's lover's healing and comfort :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2013
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Ah, but then I'd lose the 10 count in the format. I actually added it for that very purpose. Thanks for the good review.
Comment from mystery poet
The rhyme scheme you created has much
potential. I like the way you have used
it here in it's well crafted form.
'My lover's in pain for which I can not heal!'
'I'd pay twice Heaven's price for this appeal!'
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
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The rhyme scheme you created has much
potential. I like the way you have used
it here in it's well crafted form.
'My lover's in pain for which I can not heal!'
'I'd pay twice Heaven's price for this appeal!'
Comment Written 31-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
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Thank you Mystery.
Comment from GE Parson
Very good write! I could almost feel your pain in your description.
BTW My big Sis also has debilitation back pain. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' garment, my sis has spent thousands of $$s and is none the better. Her last hope s a permanent under the skin pain medication that automatically dispense pain medicine. Many have had great success with this procedure. I'm still waiting to hear how it's working for my Sis. G.E.Parson
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
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Very good write! I could almost feel your pain in your description.
BTW My big Sis also has debilitation back pain. Like the woman who touched the hem of Jesus' garment, my sis has spent thousands of $$s and is none the better. Her last hope s a permanent under the skin pain medication that automatically dispense pain medicine. Many have had great success with this procedure. I'm still waiting to hear how it's working for my Sis. G.E.Parson
Comment Written 31-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
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How it works. If it does let me know.
