Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 409 "senryu (love)"Small and Specialty Poems
6 total reviews
Comment from ramfire
Hope is a great theme for your Senryu. All the places you mentioned can be filled with different kinds of hope: hope to catch the bus on time,hope that crime will be less this next year, hope God has heard our prayers. Your poem is so well done.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
  |
Hope is a great theme for your Senryu. All the places you mentioned can be filled with different kinds of hope: hope to catch the bus on time,hope that crime will be less this next year, hope God has heard our prayers. Your poem is so well done.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
-
Thank you Ramfire, I was beginning to lose hope in my ability to handle these Japanese formats of Haiku and Senryu.
Comment from angel123
Your poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and I like your message, as well as your artwork choice.
Angel123
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
|
Your poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and I like your message, as well as your artwork choice.
Angel123
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
-
Thank you angel
Comment from Bayberry
You've pointed out the message very well in this contest entry. It offers a lot to think about regarding the meaning people apply to love and the way it is shown. I enjoyed reading this very much.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
|
You've pointed out the message very well in this contest entry. It offers a lot to think about regarding the meaning people apply to love and the way it is shown. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
-
Thank you
Comment from Galactia
love floats over air 5
busy street filled with such hope 7
city bus or church 5
Great litle senryu. I pick the bus :)
perfect syllable count
GL in the contest
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
|
love floats over air 5
busy street filled with such hope 7
city bus or church 5
Great litle senryu. I pick the bus :)
perfect syllable count
GL in the contest
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
-
Thanks Galactia
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. Very lovely choice of words and description with this Senryu. If there is one thing we all have in common is that we all have the intensity to love and hope. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
|
Hello. Very lovely choice of words and description with this Senryu. If there is one thing we all have in common is that we all have the intensity to love and hope. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
-
Thank you for the.nice review.
Comment from adewpearl
While I agree that senryu don't need to follow the 5/7/5 form, this particular contest requires that syllable count, but your count is 5/6/6
good consonance of soft S sounds in city bus
You don't have the satire/irony I associate with the senryu, but the contest doesn't include that in its rules, so that is the contest's fault.
On its own, I like the mood your poem creates :-) brooke
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
|
While I agree that senryu don't need to follow the 5/7/5 form, this particular contest requires that syllable count, but your count is 5/6/6
good consonance of soft S sounds in city bus
You don't have the satire/irony I associate with the senryu, but the contest doesn't include that in its rules, so that is the contest's fault.
On its own, I like the mood your poem creates :-) brooke
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
-
Oh thank you I fixed the count. I thought irony is the sign on the bus is not the only place for love
