Comment from dancerwriter

Excellent

Well done creating this small piece of work as it should be.
Your grandson probably wouldnot care or understand dyour words, , but putting him way up in the heavens may give him a thrill. ( not knowing how old he is) Good work. Lesley.J.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012

I think he was 7. Thanks for the visit and nice review.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a excellent piece of poetry about losing a loved one to satan. even if it is yourself.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012

Thank you so much

Comment from Benjamin Valencia

Excellent

Hello Treischel. Enjoyed your poem along with your notes on your grandson. Would it sound better if we used "Someone hear my yell (roar). Nightmare. Other than this, great job.
Good luck and cheers.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2012

Thanks for the review. I'll take a look at that

Comment from Winslow

Excellent

Dear Treischel,

This has quite an impact since you can do nothing about your descent into hell. I hope this really doesn't happen to souls.

Good luck in the contest.

Warm regards,

Winslow

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2012

Thanks for the feedback on Falling.

reply by the author on 14-Nov-2012

Thanks for the feedback on Falling.

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

LOL well it made for a Nonet and a good one at that. Have you showed him this? LOL. My favorite part is this:

Floating hopelessly, Arms About.
Oh Help! Please Help! I Scream!
Someone hear my Shout!

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012

Thanks much Gungalo. No not yet, but I about to post it of Facebook. :-))

reply by Gungalo on 13-Nov-2012

Smile.

Comment from Deorre Leonard

Excellent

I like this the picture compliments the poem. It has a good flow the structure is good. This is a great contest entry. I wouldnt change a word. Deorre

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012

Thank you Deorre

Comment from prayingpoet

Excellent

Made me feel like I was having a Nightmare ( good job on that cause I don't have nightmares very often!)Great content and awesome lines for the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012

Thanks for the comment and the encouragement.

Comment from Papabearua

Excellent

Very good nonet poem. The message builds as the syllable count decreases. Good description of someone falling that final fall. Well written.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2012

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012

Thank you.