Reviews from

Along the Jericho Road

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Kaskeya Moon, Part Two"
Murder Mystery

42 total reviews 
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am enjoying the ability to read your chapters back to back. If this were a paperback I would be turning the pages quickly. You provide interesting reading material with suspense. Great writing, Bev :)

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2012


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2012
    Thanks a big bunch for your wonderful encouragement, here, Joy. I really appreciate it! Hugs, Bev
Comment from forestport12
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think sometimes we think complicated is our best writing. This is an example of clear, clean prose, that keeps the reader involved through good verbs and dialogue. This is a perfect example of how simplicity is worth more and will win the day. Interesting and well-thought out plot, a must for a mystery.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
    Thank you so much, forestport12. I am really thrilled with your insights into the chapter and appreciate your sharing them. Your generosity is much appreciated! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from LAFraser
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Bev. This is some excellent writing. I love your character development and the direction of the story. I also like the way you've color coded the interview header in red. It makes it pop and feel official. Great writing and wonderful story. :)
I hope you have an awesome week!
~Lisa

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2012


reply by the author on 27-Aug-2012
    Hi, Lisa. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I hope your week is a good one, too, my friend. Hugs, Bev
reply by LAFraser on 28-Aug-2012
    You're welcome, Bev! Hugs back atcha. :D ~Lisa xoxo
Comment from DALLAS01
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Bev,
Rarely get involved in novels because they are so time consuming but I really enjoyed this chapter. I love the way your characters are developed. They seem to be defined by the other characters opinions of them, which is a really effective tool. Appreciate the author notes since I kind of walked in at the middle. The interrogation scene is not only realistic but full of imagery: crossing his arms and caressing his biceps gave me a glimpse of him.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2012
    Hi, Dallas. Thank you so very much for this lovely and generous review. It's so helpful to know what connects with the reader, and you have very kindly given me your insights into that. Your support means a lot to me. Thank you! Warm regards, Bev
reply by DALLAS01 on 08-Jul-2012
    You're welcome.
Comment from BWJust
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I wasn't thrilled with the first scene, between the police, but the encounter with Chet was exciting. The horrible details of murder and of a killer's life are enough to glue my eyes to the page.
I think for the interaction between police, so much more is communicated between them in body language and action than in word. If it were my story I would convert a part of their spoken words into facial expressions and pose. For example, an apology can be in the eyes and the position of the head, without a peep.
Again, I'm mostly drawn by the killing and you do sufficient job of helping me to imagine that.


 Comment Written 06-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2012
    Thank you!
Comment from abbasjoy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well written chapter, full of suspense as the reader is left to believe the murderer has been caught. Then it is discovered that Chet is a "wanna be". So it's back to square one as far as the investigation.
The dialogue between the characters is very smooth and natural. The story moves quickly and there is no lagging involved.
Good job!

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
    Hi, abbasjoy. Thank you so very much for this wonderful and generous review. I appreciate your kind words of support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very intense chapter. Your writing put me in the scene. Your characters are strong and the dialogue is excellent. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
    Why, thank you so much, Okiegal. Your words of support and generous review are so very much appreciated! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from vfbryant
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for giving me the background before I started reading. I really like your character development, and the insight into both Olsen's past and Chet's. Your descriptions are good, and the action is easy to follow. I can honestly say, being a mystery/suspense reader, that this is as good as anything I've bought and read.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
    Thank you so very much, vf. I'm thrilled that you liked my chapter. And I really appreciate your generous words of support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't know if I asked before or not but do you have any background with police work? The write is so fluid and believeable. Great job with this piece.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
    Thank you so much, Scarlet. I've been a fan of police stories for years. Guess some of it's seeped into the old cranium. I really appreciate your generous review! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi writingfundimension

This is a really good chapter, I liked the way the sheriff managed the suspect and he's certainly worried about the real killer still being unidentified and unidentifiable.

Good, nasty multiple murder story.

Patrick

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2012


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
    Thanks so much, Patrick. I'm honored by your generosity and words of support. Means a great deal to me coming from a writer of your talent! Warm regards, Bev