Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

That's one way of breaking off an engagement! But, I hope it didn't cause a ruckus for the newly weds!! That's not quite what a best man is supposed to say for his friend's wedding. Lol. You used the words well, Bill! :)) Sandra xx

I know it no longer pays, but I'll still keep reading until I've finished, so don't worry about the member cents. xxx

 Comment Written 19-May-2022

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reply by the author on 19-May-2022

Thank you, Sandra. You have been very kind and have helped me decide to pull or so of these out for revision and publishlication.

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 19-May-2022

Oh, you must definitely keep, and publish them. These are little gems, and are the type that people read on the trains, on the way to work, places where you just want to read something while waiting for your appointment. They're great. :))

Comment from mommerry

Excellent

WOW! YOu did it! That was a very difficult assignment but letting a drunk help the story out was a brilliant idea. Good job! No negatives.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

Thank you for such an encouraging review.

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

His eyes exploded? That's a nasty image! Too bad the best man was so averse to marriage. He not only lost his fiancee to the "new guy", but he was nearly too sloshed to be clearly understood.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

I pondered the "eyes exploded" visualization. It was the only way I could think of at the time to denote his genuine thoughts, though hammered. Thanks for reviewing me. Bill

Comment from DREAMS519

Average

IT WAS AN AVERAGE ONE. THE SHORT STORY DOESN'T HAVE A LIFE IN IT . MEANS READER'S LIKE US SHOULD GET MORE INTERST TO READ THE STORY. AND SHOULD HAVE SOME REAL FEELINGS OR LOVE

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2012

I see you gave me a "Welcome aboard" review. I'm not tauting this as the greatest story ever, but I was constrained by word count, and had to include a number of words that I would not have used otherwise. I appreciate your honest comments, however, and am happy to learn how to improve. Bill

reply by DREAMS519 on 10-Apr-2012

THANKS........ BILL BEST OF LUCK.....

Comment from Galactia

Excellent

You did excellent job with this bringing your drunken narrator character to life and still managing to use all: laughter, drink, murder, final, sentence, muddy, loose, wedding, mild, heart words in your story. You did really well with this. it was very creative and wish you GL in the contest.


Regards
Tia

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2012

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful review. Bill

Comment from Cobalt Blue

Excellent

That would make for an interesting wedding reception for sure! And it wouldn't be the first time a drunk has made an ass out of himself at one. You told the story in a short story using all the required words. Well done!

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2012

Thank you. I actually rewrote it just now since I could use up to 150 words. Please look again and tell me what you think. Bill

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Wow! It's fast moving, jumping from one scene to another. Like how you capitalize certain words. Love the ending: "His now ex-fiancee left with me." Very nicely written. Les

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2012

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2012

Thank you. I actually rewrote it just now since I could use up to 150 words. Please look again and tell me what you think. Bill