Waiting
Cannot believe the departure of the dear,they go;2 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This does not have the correct syllable count. Instead of 5,7,5 this one is 5, 10, 6.
By the reviewing guidelines shown here ( http://www.fanstory.com/faq.jsp#starsaward ) I must award only one star, since MAJOR REVISION is required to rewrite two whole lines.
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
Try again. Count the syllables this time. You can do it. :)
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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This does not have the correct syllable count. Instead of 5,7,5 this one is 5, 10, 6.
By the reviewing guidelines shown here ( http://www.fanstory.com/faq.jsp#starsaward ) I must award only one star, since MAJOR REVISION is required to rewrite two whole lines.
Six Stars (Exceptional: Simply Outstanding)
Five Stars (Excellent: Enjoyable and no revisions needed)
Four Stars (Good: Adjustments needed)
Three Stars (Below average)
Two Stars (Below Average: Needs lots of work)
One Star (Poor: Major revision required)
Try again. Count the syllables this time. You can do it. :)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Thank you.i will redo it.Thank you so much.
Comment from Hollyhock
I think you need to understand the 5-7-5 format more clearly. The numbers refer not to the number of words but the number of SOUNDED syllables.
"All/ I/ thought/ you/ came (5 syllables)
You/ came/ and/ al/so/ took/ a/way/ some/thing (10 syllables)
Still/ I/ won/der/ you/came (6 syllables)
The ideas in your poem are lovely as is the artwork but you need to work on the syllable count for the purpose of the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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I think you need to understand the 5-7-5 format more clearly. The numbers refer not to the number of words but the number of SOUNDED syllables.
"All/ I/ thought/ you/ came (5 syllables)
You/ came/ and/ al/so/ took/ a/way/ some/thing (10 syllables)
Still/ I/ won/der/ you/came (6 syllables)
The ideas in your poem are lovely as is the artwork but you need to work on the syllable count for the purpose of the contest.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Thank you for syllable graphing.I will redo it.
