Leslie T. Banks
A writer and the Triad28 total reviews
Comment from Alec22
You really nailed the chaos unfurling in Banks' head. I could just about imagine the cacophony of voices yelling in his mind, fighting for attention and never ever shutting up.
Witty and immersive. Thanks for a great read.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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You really nailed the chaos unfurling in Banks' head. I could just about imagine the cacophony of voices yelling in his mind, fighting for attention and never ever shutting up.
Witty and immersive. Thanks for a great read.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your fine review. It's alway nice to find that a previous post is still being read and enjoyed. It really is great to hear from you, Alec22. :) barking dog
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is great. I love the ongoing dialogue in his head. Kind of like my mind when I am trying to sleep-however no dead bodies-yet at least. Great write. I really enjoyed this!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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This is great. I love the ongoing dialogue in his head. Kind of like my mind when I am trying to sleep-however no dead bodies-yet at least. Great write. I really enjoyed this!!! Debbie
Comment Written 07-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Debbie.I'm glad you enjoyed this so much to give it a six. It's entered in a site contest so we'll see how it goes after the 16th and the Committee vote. It was a bear to write with Banks coming from three different perspectives. Again, thank you so much.:) ellen PS. What did the surgeon tell you today?
Comment from linnietwotymez
This left me speechless. How could someone of your caliber like a writer such as I? This was poetry at its finest. I was hooked from the opening. You have mastered something that writers like me only wish of accomplishing, being good with words, delivery, and dialogue. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
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This left me speechless. How could someone of your caliber like a writer such as I? This was poetry at its finest. I was hooked from the opening. You have mastered something that writers like me only wish of accomplishing, being good with words, delivery, and dialogue. Keep writing.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
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My goodness linnietwotymez, your review bowls me over. Thank you so much. Always unsure of myself, I tried something new anyway and posted it quaking in my boots. Now I've set a frightening expectation for myself. LOL Your statement of 'How could someone of your caliber like a writer such as I?' really hit home with me. You see ... I am you. Thank you so much for your generous six star review and encouragement to continue. :) barking dog/ellen
Comment from amada
Dear author your story captivated from the first line. A very hypnotic subject and deliverance. Oh that mad world of writing, publishing, and rejections! It touched a chord!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
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Dear author your story captivated from the first line. A very hypnotic subject and deliverance. Oh that mad world of writing, publishing, and rejections! It touched a chord!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, amada for your lovely review and saying that this story was captivating from the first line. That is always such a compliment. :) ellen xx
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Ellen. I would love to add a six to your considerable cache of them, but I'm out already this week. I found this piece fascinating on several levels. One, that you could keep the voices straight and two, that you even thought of the concept. I felt myself becoming quite uncomfortable as the voices kept on and on - I think that's because it was all a little too close to home. This should do extremely well in the contest on sheer originality alone. Kind regards, Bev
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Hi, Ellen. I would love to add a six to your considerable cache of them, but I'm out already this week. I found this piece fascinating on several levels. One, that you could keep the voices straight and two, that you even thought of the concept. I felt myself becoming quite uncomfortable as the voices kept on and on - I think that's because it was all a little too close to home. This should do extremely well in the contest on sheer originality alone. Kind regards, Bev
Comment Written 29-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Bev. You sure got it right. It was hard keeping the voices straight especially Les. He was the POV(past tense) and had inner thought as well as outer. It wasn't uncomfortable, but more like a puzzle. I try to write to make the reader feel what the character is experiencing. I guess you felt that. Some readers want the voices sections cut back(I think that they are feeling the discomfort, too.) This was a real bear to write and I actually didn't have any plans at all for where it was going until we got there. I say we, because the Triad just wanted out. Such drama queens! LOL Thank you again and the virtual six is just fine with me. :) ellen
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If you cut the voices back, where do you start, Ellen? I mean, some of the Triad's comments were just bloody hilarious! This might be worth submitting to a contest. In fact, I would encourage you to consider it. Take care, Bev
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LOL That's exactly what I told them.
What kind of contests are there? I don't know anything about legitimate contests. All I've heard about are the Reader's Digest script contests from Spitfire. She enters her scripts there.
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There's a lot of them on Moontown Cafe - another writer's digest top 100 sites for writers and, of course, The Writer's Digest online site. That magazine is worth its weight in gold. More good solid help in the pages of the magazine than a whole shelf of books. Can you tell I'm a fan? LOL...Bev
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Do you think it was Writer's Digest and I thought it was Reader's Digest? I bet I did. My mom used to get that dumb thing and I wondered what Spitfire was talking about. Yep, I must have read it wrong. DUH! Do you subscribe to the WRITER'S Digest? Now, I want to go online and check it out and Moontown Cafe, too. Thank you, Bev. I really know nothing beyond posting on FS. I'm such a newbie.
Comment from WLHall
You really got into the artists' mind with this one. Cleverly done. Extremely imaginative. And the names of your Triad and how they were betraying you when you needed them the most. I know the feeling. Oh, by the way, the minimum word count is 700, not 2000. The contest just recommended between 2000-3500. Mine is a little less than 1000. I hope that doesn't hurt me. I've never entered a contest like this one, so I don't know if they count off for being under the recommended. Do you know? I may have to do some rewriting if so. But yours is excellent, I have to say so. Well, may the best man or woman win! Blessings.
Wanda
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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You really got into the artists' mind with this one. Cleverly done. Extremely imaginative. And the names of your Triad and how they were betraying you when you needed them the most. I know the feeling. Oh, by the way, the minimum word count is 700, not 2000. The contest just recommended between 2000-3500. Mine is a little less than 1000. I hope that doesn't hurt me. I've never entered a contest like this one, so I don't know if they count off for being under the recommended. Do you know? I may have to do some rewriting if so. But yours is excellent, I have to say so. Well, may the best man or woman win! Blessings.
Wanda
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the review. I guess I'd best change that intro to the word count. The length of your piece shouldn't matter. I just went for the recommended length. There are usually many entries and we all have an equal chance. Thank you for your review, Wanda and best of luck to you, as well, in the contest.:) barking dog
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I'm glad about the word count. I can see no way to rewrite or add to it. I'm really excited about this one because it's my first that the fanstory people vote on. I wonder how many people have or are going to enter it. I've only come across 4-5 so far, but it has to be a lot more. It's still early.
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They will start rolling in when the date gets closer. It's always fun to read the other entries. :) BD
Comment from Tina55
Your great descriptions move me right out of the writer's head and into the world around her, making her seem more trapped than he actually is! Very cleverly done, Ellen.
Specks of sneeze...(Love it!! That's hilarious!!)
You capture the tortured artist sssooo well! I almost feel like I'm reading about myself...sshhh!! :-)
Okay, wait a minuted. The voices in my head don't have names - I'm okay!! LOL
Peaches? LOL
I love the distinct voices - they really come to life, and I'm laughing my ass off here.
"It was you, you clumsy shit, Oscar, you overloaded him with wordiness, and he blew a gasket." (Suggest a period or a semicolon after Oscar.)
Tossing the gray matter? LOL
Flambe Royale? LOL :-D
"Grim are our circumstances when sesquipedalian is mistaken for garrulous, my pedestrian friends." (LMFAO!!!! This is just what I needed tonight, Ellen! OMG!!! BTW, the closing quotation is an opening one instead of a closing one. Edit goof, that's all.)
"Whaaaat, Oscar? Sasquatch bit an alien?" (HAHAHAHA. Ask Robin to spell Saskatchewan sometime!!! :-))
Color me clever? Fanfreakintastic!! :-)
A snarling clawed words inside my head. (I don't get this sentence. Shrug.)
I reached down to re-adjust and scratch my balls. That tingling was always a good sign. I'm on a roll. (Oh My Goodness, Ellen. You've found my funny bone, for certain!!)
All of my attention was toward the screen as I listened anxiously[,] ready to type the dictates of the voices from outside or within.
Good Lord, are we really that far gone? I'm thanking my stars that I usually remember to get dressed!! :-)
Mr. Doubleday? LOL
"I say, dodging an explosion is not my preference." (Great line!)
Officer Doughnut. ~You're really outdoing yourself this time, Ellen! You should do this satirical stuff more often. It's good for what ails me!!
Man does not live by fonts alone! Brilliant!! Take a bow!!
Holy cow, Ellen! This is so much fun and a brilliant showcase of your colourful imagination! Standing O, all the way, girl!! All the best in the contest!!
As Ever and Always,
Tina :-)
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Your great descriptions move me right out of the writer's head and into the world around her, making her seem more trapped than he actually is! Very cleverly done, Ellen.
Specks of sneeze...(Love it!! That's hilarious!!)
You capture the tortured artist sssooo well! I almost feel like I'm reading about myself...sshhh!! :-)
Okay, wait a minuted. The voices in my head don't have names - I'm okay!! LOL
Peaches? LOL
I love the distinct voices - they really come to life, and I'm laughing my ass off here.
"It was you, you clumsy shit, Oscar, you overloaded him with wordiness, and he blew a gasket." (Suggest a period or a semicolon after Oscar.)
Tossing the gray matter? LOL
Flambe Royale? LOL :-D
"Grim are our circumstances when sesquipedalian is mistaken for garrulous, my pedestrian friends." (LMFAO!!!! This is just what I needed tonight, Ellen! OMG!!! BTW, the closing quotation is an opening one instead of a closing one. Edit goof, that's all.)
"Whaaaat, Oscar? Sasquatch bit an alien?" (HAHAHAHA. Ask Robin to spell Saskatchewan sometime!!! :-))
Color me clever? Fanfreakintastic!! :-)
A snarling clawed words inside my head. (I don't get this sentence. Shrug.)
I reached down to re-adjust and scratch my balls. That tingling was always a good sign. I'm on a roll. (Oh My Goodness, Ellen. You've found my funny bone, for certain!!)
All of my attention was toward the screen as I listened anxiously[,] ready to type the dictates of the voices from outside or within.
Good Lord, are we really that far gone? I'm thanking my stars that I usually remember to get dressed!! :-)
Mr. Doubleday? LOL
"I say, dodging an explosion is not my preference." (Great line!)
Officer Doughnut. ~You're really outdoing yourself this time, Ellen! You should do this satirical stuff more often. It's good for what ails me!!
Man does not live by fonts alone! Brilliant!! Take a bow!!
Holy cow, Ellen! This is so much fun and a brilliant showcase of your colourful imagination! Standing O, all the way, girl!! All the best in the contest!!
As Ever and Always,
Tina :-)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Tina for getting into the humor. The sneeze is cleaned off now and the phone is off the hook.(I took these from the actual events. No sneeze or robo caller were injured in the writing process only removed and disconnected afterward.) I love your comment that it could be you but your voices don't have any names. LOL (At least not yet, Tina.)
The snarl clawing words in his head was to me the result of the insistent officer voice outside the door interrupting the voices inside who then, after the quote which referred to a wolf huffing and puffing, clawed as would a wolf (instead of typed) words inside his head. Refering to the splitting headache, too. A mix of many things. Meant to give a feel of something. I guess it is a bit poetic in its obliqueness.
Thank you again, Tina for the lovely six as well. I wonder if any of the others (Avery, Robin or Tonulak noticed it was top of the column on the first page on Sunday it kept climbing as the sixes kept coming in.)
That's all for now.
:) ellen
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Of course! I get it now...I wasn't reading snarl as the object...I can be so thick at times!! And, kudos again for conducting your muses with such a graceful SPAG-free hand!! This is really good.
What contest is it in? Is it one that I can vote in?
Tina
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It's a committer vote. 'The room was empty' first words contest.
You voted. It's gold. LOL
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I voted? Seriously? Or, do I still need to go somewhere and physically click a go button? I've never voted in a contest yet...I'm a voting newbie!! :-)
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You can't vote in this contest. It's judged by a site committee not the FS members. I meant that your sixer was a 'vote' not a VOTE. LOL
I only enter the site sponsered contests because there is no entry fee. Winners get real money for first prize and site money for second. I won 20 site dollars once. Thank you for asking. If you want to find the booths and read what is entered in the member sponsered contests just go to 'My Menu' and the booths are there. I see Avrey there sometimes.
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Gotcha. I'm still walking around and waking up the house, let alone my own inner workings, so please excuse my dimwits this am.
Have a good one! I hope to write for most of the day...bring on the little voices. LOL :-)
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Have a great day with your voices. I'm sure they are ready to come out. Who's turn is it this time?
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Well, David is getting impatient with me. And, Joe is pacing in the background. Kristen is reluctant and dragging her heels. And then, there's all of their sidekicks and bad habits. I hate feeling like there's a ball of energy locked up inside me that holds more magic than I can tap into. I want that magic on the page...now! It's lingering just beyond my knowledge. I can feel it, but can't see it. It's SO frustrating.
:-)
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They'll materialize in your mind's eye soon. They are just rehearsing to get their parts right.It's that pacing back and forth before they are ready for the curtain to open that is so hard to wait for. Anticipation of being alive, of their being alive, I would imagine.
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You have such a sympathetic ear!!
I'm going to work out and shower in the hopes that it will stimulate them into action sooner!!
LOL
Love ya!!
Comment from c_lucas
Scratch another writer. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very easy read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Scratch another writer. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very easy read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Charlie. I guess we shall see how it goes. :) ellen
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You're welcome, Ellen. Charlie
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Ah ha, you did get it. Whew.:) ellen
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Evil Wddie's tirades are very tiresome.
Comment from Lylise
My favs - specks of sneeze took shape - great sentence and alliteration.
Infringing reality continued - great sentence.
Sasquatch bit an alien- great!
All of this recognizable to any writer. Excellent presentation and a solid submission to contest. Good Luck.
PS - recognize a few things here where you could not resist! Ha!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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My favs - specks of sneeze took shape - great sentence and alliteration.
Infringing reality continued - great sentence.
Sasquatch bit an alien- great!
All of this recognizable to any writer. Excellent presentation and a solid submission to contest. Good Luck.
PS - recognize a few things here where you could not resist! Ha!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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LOL lynda, the sneeze is wiped clean but will probably be back. :) You are such a great reviewer, seeing the little things that I couldn't resist like the Sasquatch line. Thank you very much for your review and meaningful comments. The six is a beauty! :) ellen xxx
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This is great little story. When I figured out what was going on you still zapped me at the end. Extremely cool.
Comment from dbmccarter
This is fabulous. I laughed I cried, I laughed crazily again. All the phrases and the phone call were brilliant. It could have been 30,00 words and I would have read every word. Also a whole lot of truth and I can totally understand. Also the art is perfection.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This is fabulous. I laughed I cried, I laughed crazily again. All the phrases and the phone call were brilliant. It could have been 30,00 words and I would have read every word. Also a whole lot of truth and I can totally understand. Also the art is perfection.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you for your lovely and very generous review, deb. The phone call actually happened while I was writing it. I typed it almost word for word. LOL I'm so glad that it entertained.:)ellen
