As Berries Burst With Juice
two octets in 6/7/6/7/6/6/6/6181 total reviews
Comment from redrider6612
Excellent craftsmanship, my friend. The sing-song rhythmn of this poem is lovely, the rhymes are perfect. I like the way you brought it back to the Creator, the source of all blessings. This poem blessed me deeply. Thank you.
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Excellent craftsmanship, my friend. The sing-song rhythmn of this poem is lovely, the rhymes are perfect. I like the way you brought it back to the Creator, the source of all blessings. This poem blessed me deeply. Thank you.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from Trybuck
As days go slowly by
I find it very trying
for no six to award
Much less than satisfying
This five I give instead
I know you understand
The anguish and the dread
and so this verse must end
and leave you with a grin
Well, at least a small smile, hopefully :)
Very well done and I like this meter too, Buck
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As days go slowly by
I find it very trying
for no six to award
Much less than satisfying
This five I give instead
I know you understand
The anguish and the dread
and so this verse must end
and leave you with a grin
Well, at least a small smile, hopefully :)
Very well done and I like this meter too, Buck
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from Dave Russell
This is so well described that I find myself wanting to raid the fridge!! Of course I wouldn't feel this way without you doing such a great job with your imagery. I do appreciate also the thanks offered up at the end.
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This is so well described that I find myself wanting to raid the fridge!! Of course I wouldn't feel this way without you doing such a great job with your imagery. I do appreciate also the thanks offered up at the end.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from RYME4U
Excellent. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect. The message is great and I can nearly taste the berries!I'm glad you thanked the Lord for making it all so. Great job!
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Excellent. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect. The message is great and I can nearly taste the berries!I'm glad you thanked the Lord for making it all so. Great job!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from Frankeddy
Beautiful poem, I was attracted to the bright color scheme and lovely setting.
Your great gift of rhyming lets the poem flow so smoothly.
Since the course I find that I am checking syllable and meter a little bit and yours
of course is perfect.
Enjoyed reading and looking forward to Spring. Frankeddy
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Beautiful poem, I was attracted to the bright color scheme and lovely setting.
Your great gift of rhyming lets the poem flow so smoothly.
Since the course I find that I am checking syllable and meter a little bit and yours
of course is perfect.
Enjoyed reading and looking forward to Spring. Frankeddy
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from c_lucas
Freshiy picked berries make for a wonderful snack. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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Freshiy picked berries make for a wonderful snack. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from AprilShower
I like the way this follows a pattern, and I also like the message. The picture and the colors go well together with the poem. You did well with one, Brooke.
April
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I like the way this follows a pattern, and I also like the message. The picture and the colors go well together with the poem. You did well with one, Brooke.
April
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from Ekim777
Your adept use of the language reminds me of a juggler tossing an arc of bright balls. Your words cannot describe those berries more perfectly. Even the phrases interlock perfectly."As berries burst their juice,/All season they've been saving./ I was tempted to write something myself. 'When summer burst of rain is over,/The scant bushveld is as green as clover,/Bedecked in foliage of Baobab and Mimosa/While berries turn bronze on the Marula./
Not the same, is it? Anyway If God made those luscious clusters of the grape, you certainly recreated them on paper. Best wishes. -Ekim
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Your adept use of the language reminds me of a juggler tossing an arc of bright balls. Your words cannot describe those berries more perfectly. Even the phrases interlock perfectly."As berries burst their juice,/All season they've been saving./ I was tempted to write something myself. 'When summer burst of rain is over,/The scant bushveld is as green as clover,/Bedecked in foliage of Baobab and Mimosa/While berries turn bronze on the Marula./
Not the same, is it? Anyway If God made those luscious clusters of the grape, you certainly recreated them on paper. Best wishes. -Ekim
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from Flowerangel71
The picture obviously was a match made in heaven for this poem. I loved you chose the green color background and the contrast with white letters. The poems rhyming was refreshing and happy. Its wonderful your creativity was ignited by this hymn you sang today. It was a wonderful way of Thanking God.
Looking forward to your next work. It was a delight.
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The picture obviously was a match made in heaven for this poem. I loved you chose the green color background and the contrast with white letters. The poems rhyming was refreshing and happy. Its wonderful your creativity was ignited by this hymn you sang today. It was a wonderful way of Thanking God.
Looking forward to your next work. It was a delight.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
Comment from reconciled
Another splendid poem delivered splendidly.It is amazing when we stop to consider all the good that God has given us.Wonderful write and read.-Michael.
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Another splendid poem delivered splendidly.It is amazing when we stop to consider all the good that God has given us.Wonderful write and read.-Michael.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2012
