Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Beware the Incubus"Case Studies of Hauntings
28 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh my goodness. I bet ghost hunters would have trouble debunking this stuff. Enjoying the story very much, Bev. Onto the next chapter after I let the dog outside.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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Oh my goodness. I bet ghost hunters would have trouble debunking this stuff. Enjoying the story very much, Bev. Onto the next chapter after I let the dog outside.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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It seems that things are really heating up, in general, in the paranormal world. Just about anyone can get a decent EVP or have personal enounters with spirits. I think it's partly because of the equipment sensitivity and the fact that it's okay for people to admit they're being haunted. Just a thought.
Thanks, buddy! Xxx Bev
Comment from closetpoetjester
Oooh Bev-frickin-tastic mate...I got goose bumps right from the beginning and you seemed determined to scare the crap outta me this chapter. Starting with the cat freaking out and then a presence or two taking over the room without somehow disturbing the sleeping beauties. A big shit fight, all caught on ghoulie-cam and then your terrific ending with the presence of Catherine. Meaty! Loved it and can't wait for the next chapter...by all accounts Charles will kill...yes? LOL
Great job and I have to give you a sixer from the Closet for scare value. Well done Bevver.
Cheers Closet xoxo
PS Only critique...ditch the hyphen here:
"re-animation" WTF? why'd ya break it? why not just drop to the next line...I don't think your readers will mind and hyphened words look so bloody untidy imo. Just my thoughts. The other thingy...I know: "Who WERE you" was intentional but it sounded a bit odd...but it had the desired effect and I understand why it was written like that. Its just the past and present thingy clashing in the same scene for me.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
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Oooh Bev-frickin-tastic mate...I got goose bumps right from the beginning and you seemed determined to scare the crap outta me this chapter. Starting with the cat freaking out and then a presence or two taking over the room without somehow disturbing the sleeping beauties. A big shit fight, all caught on ghoulie-cam and then your terrific ending with the presence of Catherine. Meaty! Loved it and can't wait for the next chapter...by all accounts Charles will kill...yes? LOL
Great job and I have to give you a sixer from the Closet for scare value. Well done Bevver.
Cheers Closet xoxo
PS Only critique...ditch the hyphen here:
"re-animation" WTF? why'd ya break it? why not just drop to the next line...I don't think your readers will mind and hyphened words look so bloody untidy imo. Just my thoughts. The other thingy...I know: "Who WERE you" was intentional but it sounded a bit odd...but it had the desired effect and I understand why it was written like that. Its just the past and present thingy clashing in the same scene for me.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2012
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Hi, closet. Thanks for your fantastic review and your excellent suggestions about the hypens. I tend to get a little carried away with them sometimes. Glad I scared ya good, hehehe. Charles will definitely use every means he can to see that nothing stands in his way of becoming human again. So glad you stopped by and appreciate your support, buddy. All my best, bevarooni. Xxx
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Hey sweety, I just realised tho, that word IS probably hyphenated...its just that because you disjointed it over two lines I thought it wasn't meant to be...now I think about it, it could be...your call anyhow...I catch up on some more chapters shorty,
Lubsya Bev.
Closet xoxo
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I think your suggestion made perfect sense, so I changed the sentence structure so that it will appear neater. I'm a very tidy person by nature also LOL! Love ya more...Bev
Comment from Paradox Tremors
It's lucky Catherine is watching over them; especially the girls. It's unimaginable what a Incubus can do to the human form--not good at all; wouldn't want to be a part of it in any way. Another great chapter (guess the site won't let me give you another 6 so soon after the last one--sorry).
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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It's lucky Catherine is watching over them; especially the girls. It's unimaginable what a Incubus can do to the human form--not good at all; wouldn't want to be a part of it in any way. Another great chapter (guess the site won't let me give you another 6 so soon after the last one--sorry).
Comment Written 18-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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I appreciate your thoughtfulness in reviewing this chapter so thoroughly, PT. I hope I never run across one of those types of demons in real life. But I do use a great deal of angelic protection around myself at night. Have had too many unwanted visitors over the years. And thanks for the extremely generous desire to award an extra star. Your following along means more than an extra star - far more! Warmest regards, Bev
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Sorry for the delay in reading but health issues and things in life came up. I will try to do better in the future.
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You sure don't owe it to me to read anything, PT. I'm grateful when you do and consider it a gift. Hope you know that, my friend. Xxx Bev
Comment from DonFofo
Hello there WritingFunDimension, I like your book segment, very interesting, and thank you for the use of my photograph for your work :) Don Fofo
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Hello there WritingFunDimension, I like your book segment, very interesting, and thank you for the use of my photograph for your work :) Don Fofo
Comment Written 18-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2011
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Hi, DonFofo. Thanks for taking time out to review! That's very generous of you. Glad I'm getting to thank you in person for the use of your perfect photo. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from psalmist
Excellent, this sent my skin crawling. Terrific descriptions: like a moon-drenched beast,Shudders of energy sparked the edges of his greatcoat as his foul tongue licked Emma's lips, are just a couple of examples. A great sci-fi/fantasy story that has me on the edge of my seat. Linda
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Excellent, this sent my skin crawling. Terrific descriptions: like a moon-drenched beast,Shudders of energy sparked the edges of his greatcoat as his foul tongue licked Emma's lips, are just a couple of examples. A great sci-fi/fantasy story that has me on the edge of my seat. Linda
Comment Written 03-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2011
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Thank you so much, Linda. I really appreciate your support for this chapter and your generous review. Always good to hear what works for the reader - you have provided me with excellent feedback which I very much appreciate. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Bellringer
Bev, This installment was frightening and held my attention from beginning to end. The apparitions and their actions were creatively described. The relative weakness of the team is apparent here. I was surprised that Emma and Mia (as sensitive as she is) could sleep through all of this. Great cliff hanger ending. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Bev, This installment was frightening and held my attention from beginning to end. The apparitions and their actions were creatively described. The relative weakness of the team is apparent here. I was surprised that Emma and Mia (as sensitive as she is) could sleep through all of this. Great cliff hanger ending. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Hi, Hector. You are the second person to bring that situation to my attention. I agree, it does seem unrealistic. But, it is entirely possible for spirit happenings to be heard and experienced by one person while the other person in the bed experiences nothing (just ask my husband lol). It seems I need to come up with something more creative to describe this. So, thanks for pointing it out. I always appreciate your insights and reviews. Bright blessings, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Glad I could help in some small way. Warmly, Hector
Comment from Mariea
Good morning. Another well written chapter and thoroughly edited. The suspense buildup is well done and characters and dialogue realistic. Looking for the next one
Hugs Mia
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Good morning. Another well written chapter and thoroughly edited. The suspense buildup is well done and characters and dialogue realistic. Looking for the next one
Hugs Mia
Comment Written 02-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011
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Thanks so much Mariea. I really appreciate your taking an interest in my story and for your gracious review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Tom C. Adams
Good, solid chapter in this neat book, Bev. The characterizations stay in concert from chapter to chapter, and you explain all the subtle and necessary changes. You did a nice job of advancing the plot, or at least setting the stage to do so, through the use of Mike's Nightmare (no, Bev, I don't know of any rock band named "Mike's Nightmare : < ). Mike intends to get Mia to weigh in on the dream ... later.
"Maybe it expanded with the room's heat": Your call of course, but I think it reads just fine without this sentence.
Here is something that puzzled me
The narrator was describing the tussle: "...her features were marred by pain..." and then later the narrator indicates that "...Emma and Mia went on sleeping, unaware of the battle going on in the room." Maybe it is just me: the fact that [a] she is marred by pain, and [b] she went on sleeping. Might be worth another look, TC.
I am getting drawn in. Can't wait for the next installment!
Tom C.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011
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Good, solid chapter in this neat book, Bev. The characterizations stay in concert from chapter to chapter, and you explain all the subtle and necessary changes. You did a nice job of advancing the plot, or at least setting the stage to do so, through the use of Mike's Nightmare (no, Bev, I don't know of any rock band named "Mike's Nightmare : < ). Mike intends to get Mia to weigh in on the dream ... later.
"Maybe it expanded with the room's heat": Your call of course, but I think it reads just fine without this sentence.
Here is something that puzzled me
The narrator was describing the tussle: "...her features were marred by pain..." and then later the narrator indicates that "...Emma and Mia went on sleeping, unaware of the battle going on in the room." Maybe it is just me: the fact that [a] she is marred by pain, and [b] she went on sleeping. Might be worth another look, TC.
I am getting drawn in. Can't wait for the next installment!
Tom C.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011
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Hi, Tom C. Thank you for your excellent review! You have raised some very good points here, I felt those areas were a bit weak myself. I am going to back in and take a look at that situation with Emma and Mia and see if there's a better direction to come in at...so that's a great insight. It's so helpful when someone really takes an interest and follows the chapters, so they can give me a knowledgeable review - like yours. I really appreciate it, my friend. Bright blessings, Bev
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I care about you, Bev. If you succeed, I succeed.
Tom C.
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Awwwww. What a great person you are, Tom!
Comment from barkingdog
I haven't read the other chapters, but this one kept my interest.
It was full of creepy moments. The ghost scene in the girl's bedroom was very visual and kept me glued.
The cat added a bit of reality to the scene as it ran out frightened.
Then the fellows speaking to Catherine and her message of Charles will kill have interested me in what's to come.
Your dialogue is very natural and easy to read.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011
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I haven't read the other chapters, but this one kept my interest.
It was full of creepy moments. The ghost scene in the girl's bedroom was very visual and kept me glued.
The cat added a bit of reality to the scene as it ran out frightened.
Then the fellows speaking to Catherine and her message of Charles will kill have interested me in what's to come.
Your dialogue is very natural and easy to read.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011
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Hi, barking dog. Thank so much for your excellent review. I appreciate, especially, your letting me what you thought worked in this chapter - most helpful. Kindest regards, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. I still see the bedroom scene. It was that vivid.:)barking dog
Comment from God's Writer
I have finally met Mark Twain's great grand children. Wow!!!!!!!!! Such breath taking suspense. If I hadn't read Twain so much I could have sworn you copied him verbatim. I can't even think right now. I am still prowling around in the dark. I thought this type of literature was a thing of the past. So passionate, so full of feelings and emotions. A thousand six star ratings would not be enough for such a delightful piece of artwork. I could literally write a review for hours. I really appreciate writing like this. Thank you for the many wonderful scenes. It would have been nice though if you would have included a little outside weather or a cat in the hall or something to round it out to its fullest. Grandest write I have read since twain and Tolkien!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011
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I have finally met Mark Twain's great grand children. Wow!!!!!!!!! Such breath taking suspense. If I hadn't read Twain so much I could have sworn you copied him verbatim. I can't even think right now. I am still prowling around in the dark. I thought this type of literature was a thing of the past. So passionate, so full of feelings and emotions. A thousand six star ratings would not be enough for such a delightful piece of artwork. I could literally write a review for hours. I really appreciate writing like this. Thank you for the many wonderful scenes. It would have been nice though if you would have included a little outside weather or a cat in the hall or something to round it out to its fullest. Grandest write I have read since twain and Tolkien!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 01-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011
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Hi, Happy Poet. Thanks so much for your excellent review! You are really most kind. Funny, but I did think about mentioning the snow pelting on the window or something along those lines. I think I'll go back and look at where I can insert something of that order. Your review has me dancing on clouds! Heart Blessings, Bev
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You deserve it. All these things add so much to a story. I
spoke the truth. You deserved to be stroaked.
