Paranormal Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Guardians Gather"Case Studies of Hauntings
70 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great opening with a little catchup on Charles B. Love this chapter and with the old woman holding vigil, watching Mia very nicely done.A lot of info in this chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Great opening with a little catchup on Charles B. Love this chapter and with the old woman holding vigil, watching Mia very nicely done.A lot of info in this chapter.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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I really appreciate your very generous and encouraging review, Pearl. Thanks for sticking with the story and sharing
your special insights.
:) Bev
Comment from w.j.debi
Two ghosts hovering around Mia and knowing she is there to help them. They seem like they have been waiting for her. Maybe they arranged for the accountant to give up the room. At any rate, the ghost hunters are getting closer to the mansion and the source of all the paranormal activity.
In like the tension you create and the questions you raise about Charles. What or who is keeping locked on the mansion?
I'm not sure where you are in the revision process. How far can I read at present?
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Two ghosts hovering around Mia and knowing she is there to help them. They seem like they have been waiting for her. Maybe they arranged for the accountant to give up the room. At any rate, the ghost hunters are getting closer to the mansion and the source of all the paranormal activity.
In like the tension you create and the questions you raise about Charles. What or who is keeping locked on the mansion?
I'm not sure where you are in the revision process. How far can I read at present?
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Hi, Debi. Thanks so much for taking time to read and review this chapter. I appreciate your generosity and support very much.
Though I do love getting your insights, please don't feel you have to review these older chapters. I'm currently revising Chapter 10, for submission sometime this week. I just appreciate the fact that you are reading the background chapters so you'll understand the foundation of the story.
Have a great week, and thanks once again.
:) Bev
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Hi Bev,
I am trying to catch up, but not get ahead of the revisions. I don't mind making comments once I've finished a chapter, if you don't mind reading them. Don't worry, I don't post often enought to be to worried about the FS money. I just read what I like.
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Oh, I don't mind at all. Suggestions and insights are always welcome, Debi. Thanks much! :) Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
Just checked this one out before reading the latest. Thought I had previously read and commented but looks like not. The pace is really picking up as more is so cleverly revealed. Plenty of action here. Now I can move on to next chapter this week.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Just checked this one out before reading the latest. Thought I had previously read and commented but looks like not. The pace is really picking up as more is so cleverly revealed. Plenty of action here. Now I can move on to next chapter this week.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2014
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Hi, Dallas. Thanks for this great review. I really appreciate you taking time to read the chapter before going forward. :) Bev
Comment from robina1978
A nice chapter if I read it correctly. The mass killer was locked up and died. Now, so many years later, the people still worry about a come-back.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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A nice chapter if I read it correctly. The mass killer was locked up and died. Now, so many years later, the people still worry about a come-back.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, Ine. The killer's body was never discovered. So, the mystery is whether his spirit is causing the paranormal activity at his former residence.
I really appreciate your time and generosity, my friend.
:) Bev
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A very creepy, gory start to this. Well written and interesting. An enjoyable read. Have a blessed evening, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2014
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A very creepy, gory start to this. Well written and interesting. An enjoyable read. Have a blessed evening, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, Debbie! :) Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Bev,
OOO! A chilling conclusion to the chapter. Way to keep your fans panting for more, my dear!!
I've been off for a couple of days. Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. What a great way to get back on!
I won't read ahead - promise! I'll wait patiently. :)
Hugs and love,
Sonali xxx
hands forever set on the hour of his heinous deeds ... deed? ... referring to the murder, right?
How dare you treat me this way(?) Don't you
The air grew thick(,) followed by a loud crack and a splitting open of the floor at his feet... How about ...
The air grew thick, a loud crack followed, and the floor split open at his feet ... ?
walls and sent the rooms' objects into a frenzied flight ... how about ... sent the objects in the room into ...? Just some thoughts ... not micro-managing ...!!!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Hi Bev,
OOO! A chilling conclusion to the chapter. Way to keep your fans panting for more, my dear!!
I've been off for a couple of days. Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. What a great way to get back on!
I won't read ahead - promise! I'll wait patiently. :)
Hugs and love,
Sonali xxx
hands forever set on the hour of his heinous deeds ... deed? ... referring to the murder, right?
How dare you treat me this way(?) Don't you
The air grew thick(,) followed by a loud crack and a splitting open of the floor at his feet... How about ...
The air grew thick, a loud crack followed, and the floor split open at his feet ... ?
walls and sent the rooms' objects into a frenzied flight ... how about ... sent the objects in the room into ...? Just some thoughts ... not micro-managing ...!!!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2014
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Hi, Sonali. Thanks for the great review, and I always appreciate your editing suggestions. Happy Thanksgiving... I can picture all of you sitting around your table in your beautiful house, having been there. Hope you have a wonderful holiday.
I appreciate for your support and encouragement, my dear friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Neonewman
I shamefully admit I did read ahead which happens often as I read through the reviews. I enjoyed this piece thoroughly and will have to catch up. Great work! God bless!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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I shamefully admit I did read ahead which happens often as I read through the reviews. I enjoyed this piece thoroughly and will have to catch up. Great work! God bless!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Thank you very much for this awesome review, Neon. I really appreciate your encouragement and support, and am glad you liked the chapter.
Kind regards, Bev
Comment from chasennov
Paranormal Adventures continued Paranormal Adventures The Guardians Gather.' Another great chapter you have created here, Bev. I just wish I had more time to spend on FS. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Paranormal Adventures continued Paranormal Adventures The Guardians Gather.' Another great chapter you have created here, Bev. I just wish I had more time to spend on FS. Well done.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, C. I really appreciate that you took some of your precious FS time to read my chapter. Glad you liked it! :) Bev
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You are most welcome, Bev.
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:)
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Reinforcements have arrived! This is shaping up nicely, Bev. A couple of comments, but not a single glitch:
his hands and wrists spit blood with each blow - love it!
The Tipsy Butler Bed and Breakfast - great name!
Great job. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Reinforcements have arrived! This is shaping up nicely, Bev. A couple of comments, but not a single glitch:
his hands and wrists spit blood with each blow - love it!
The Tipsy Butler Bed and Breakfast - great name!
Great job. :) Nancy
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Hi, Nancy
So glad you enjoyed the chapter, and thank you very much for the grand review.
I much appreciate both your generosity and support.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from rama devi
Hi dear friend!
A great chapter! Draws the read in. Powerful metaphysical overtones.
Superb POV transitions in omniscient POV but capturing each unique one with a different flavor. Well done.
Excellent descriptive detail in the narrative, bringing scenes to life.
Well paced, too.
Just a few minor suggestions for your kind consideration, dear:
NOTES
*Its screams increased with every blow he struck.
Suggest using THE instead of ITS because an infant is a he or she, not an it. The reader can infer whose screams without the its because it is implied.
The screams increased with every blow he struck.
Good similes in the last paragraph of the first section. That section captures the evil POV well!
* the lobby of The Tipsy Butler bed and breakfast.
Not sure--but shouldn't Bed and Breakfast be capped?
* The Cook's Room was decorated with nautical antiques a
Not sure you need a cap on room, unless it is part of a formal title?
Bernadette returned his smile. "I thought this would work well for you two gentlemen. It has a more masculine feel to it and is our most-requested room."
*Why caps on Compass Star? Is it a proper name? (I do not know). If not, then I recommend lower case there.
On a personal note...I am back in USA. My adrenal fatigue is 75% healed by Amma so I do not need the quiet environment here as I'd thought I would. So, I will be back to India again in the third week of November (until Hot season...which starts mid March). I will be busy with a bunch of things then. From December, when my membership here expires, I'll be reviewing only as a standard member. If your posts are open to standard reviews, I'll be able to review them. Otherwise, you know we can always connect off site as well. :)
Lots of Love
rd
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Hi dear friend!
A great chapter! Draws the read in. Powerful metaphysical overtones.
Superb POV transitions in omniscient POV but capturing each unique one with a different flavor. Well done.
Excellent descriptive detail in the narrative, bringing scenes to life.
Well paced, too.
Just a few minor suggestions for your kind consideration, dear:
NOTES
*Its screams increased with every blow he struck.
Suggest using THE instead of ITS because an infant is a he or she, not an it. The reader can infer whose screams without the its because it is implied.
The screams increased with every blow he struck.
Good similes in the last paragraph of the first section. That section captures the evil POV well!
* the lobby of The Tipsy Butler bed and breakfast.
Not sure--but shouldn't Bed and Breakfast be capped?
* The Cook's Room was decorated with nautical antiques a
Not sure you need a cap on room, unless it is part of a formal title?
Bernadette returned his smile. "I thought this would work well for you two gentlemen. It has a more masculine feel to it and is our most-requested room."
*Why caps on Compass Star? Is it a proper name? (I do not know). If not, then I recommend lower case there.
On a personal note...I am back in USA. My adrenal fatigue is 75% healed by Amma so I do not need the quiet environment here as I'd thought I would. So, I will be back to India again in the third week of November (until Hot season...which starts mid March). I will be busy with a bunch of things then. From December, when my membership here expires, I'll be reviewing only as a standard member. If your posts are open to standard reviews, I'll be able to review them. Otherwise, you know we can always connect off site as well. :)
Lots of Love
rd
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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So good to hear from you, my friend. Thank you, as always, for your great editing suggestions as well as your encouragement. I think I'm finally getting a handle on that POV issue :).
The Cook's Room is actually one of the rooms at the real B@B, and the Compass Star is the proper name of that quilt type. Otherwise, I've made all the other changes.
I'm relieved to hear that you're feeling better, Rama! I was worried about your physical state. Hope you're enjoying your time with your family here in the States and maybe getting to revel in the Fall temperatures and colors.
Again, thanks for the support and wonderful review.
Hugs, Bev
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Thanks for your lovely response, my dear Bev. In Florida, so far, the fall temps are in the 90s and humid. Yikes! But it should cool down soon. Hopefully, when I go to NY there will still be colors to see. The POV transitions were smooth. Bravo.
Hugs and Love,
rd
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The colors are a little later this Fall, so I'm betting you'll see some beautiful shades of red and orange this year. Have a safe trip.
You're welcome, as always, Rama.
Love, Bev
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Super! Thanks dear. Love, rd
