A SnowAngel For Luther
Snowdreams25 total reviews
Comment from Judy Swanson
Hi Susan,
Good short story! A bit of sadness, a bit of comedy, a bit of mystery - all rolled into one story.
Excellent imagery throughout. I particularly enjoyed the following phrases...
"loneliness settled over him like a blanket on a hot August night. Sometimes it was purely suffocating"
"Luther shed his clothes, got the bottle of bravery, and stepped gingerly out the backdoor"
The dialog was believable, and humorous as well. Created good pictures of Earl and Ethel.
Really liked the mysterious ending.
Thanks for sharing.
Judy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Hi Susan,
Good short story! A bit of sadness, a bit of comedy, a bit of mystery - all rolled into one story.
Excellent imagery throughout. I particularly enjoyed the following phrases...
"loneliness settled over him like a blanket on a hot August night. Sometimes it was purely suffocating"
"Luther shed his clothes, got the bottle of bravery, and stepped gingerly out the backdoor"
The dialog was believable, and humorous as well. Created good pictures of Earl and Ethel.
Really liked the mysterious ending.
Thanks for sharing.
Judy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Hi Judy, thank you so much. Thanks for pointing out the fav lines...I'm always pleased to hear from you and appreciate your time for me. I'm trying to get caught up with everyone my friend...hugs and best! Susan
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You are so very welcome, as always. Judy
Comment from Carrie Smith
Girl, this is funny, funny, funny! I can see that scenario playing out and I love the way you used the "country" dialogue. Seems Mrs. Noseby thoroughly enjoyed herself, but Mr. Nosby got the last laugh! This is good-really good!... xxxSusan
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Girl, this is funny, funny, funny! I can see that scenario playing out and I love the way you used the "country" dialogue. Seems Mrs. Noseby thoroughly enjoyed herself, but Mr. Nosby got the last laugh! This is good-really good!... xxxSusan
Comment Written 16-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Wow, Susan! A six...I am so surprised and happy! I am glad you liked it...my favorite part is where Ethyl falls from the window. ?? Ha. I got your call!! Thanks, and again for this kind and appreciated review...luv, susan
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May I say a well deserved six...be in touch soon! luv...Susan
Comment from Rama Rao
Since this was an entry for the contest, I read it with interest only to be disappointed. But I found the other reviewers liked your story. It is perhaps I'm not aware of the condition during snow and what irrational thing people do. I therefore, decided to give you the benefit of doubt.
However, the following spags need fixing.
1. for the most part,
1.A year ago on this day-to this day since you implied it was precisely the same day the year before.
2. It sort of looked like a woman had lain in the snow without any clothes on.-It looked as if a nude woman had lain in the snow.
3.and the weather reports-delete the
4. went to bed and he'd be out in his backyard-comma before but
5.huge, pink and warm loving are paired adjectives and need a comma between them.
Sometimes, however, for the most part, are part of introductory phrases and need a comma after them.
A few spelling errors
house shoes, back steps -2 words.
breathiness-not commonly used.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Since this was an entry for the contest, I read it with interest only to be disappointed. But I found the other reviewers liked your story. It is perhaps I'm not aware of the condition during snow and what irrational thing people do. I therefore, decided to give you the benefit of doubt.
However, the following spags need fixing.
1. for the most part,
1.A year ago on this day-to this day since you implied it was precisely the same day the year before.
2. It sort of looked like a woman had lain in the snow without any clothes on.-It looked as if a nude woman had lain in the snow.
3.and the weather reports-delete the
4. went to bed and he'd be out in his backyard-comma before but
5.huge, pink and warm loving are paired adjectives and need a comma between them.
Sometimes, however, for the most part, are part of introductory phrases and need a comma after them.
A few spelling errors
house shoes, back steps -2 words.
breathiness-not commonly used.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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HI Ramarao! THank you...and I am sorry to disappoint you. I feel bad. Snowangels are just where a person lays in the snow, with winter clothes on, of course in reality, and waves their arms and legs back and forth creating a shape...it sort of resembles an angel...I wish I could draw it for you. BUT, I based this story on that and a friend who is funny. I did try to fix your suggestions too. Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it! Susan
Comment from RebelRose
I wish Luther would do a reverse rain dance now and make spring come on. This is quite an unusual story but very interesting. Great contest entry.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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I wish Luther would do a reverse rain dance now and make spring come on. This is quite an unusual story but very interesting. Great contest entry.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Hi Rose! Me too! Ha! Thank you for reading this! I am happy you enjoyed it! Happy Spring when it gets here!! Hug, susan
Comment from adewpearl
his nosey neighbors' silhouettes - add the apostrophe for plural possessive
I am laughing as Ethyl is hoping to get just the perfect view of Luther's nice tush. LOL
What a wonderful ending - this is a fantastic character-driven story, a delight to read, Susan :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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his nosey neighbors' silhouettes - add the apostrophe for plural possessive
I am laughing as Ethyl is hoping to get just the perfect view of Luther's nice tush. LOL
What a wonderful ending - this is a fantastic character-driven story, a delight to read, Susan :-) Brooke
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Hi Brooke! Thank you, I will fix that apostrophe too...it's wonderful to know you got a kick out of this...Your comments are very encouraging and gives me the will to keep at it. Hugs!! Susan
Comment from Veekz
This is a fab little tale of a very cheeky (and chilly no doubt lol) guy giving his neighbors a good show :)
So sweet how his snow angel walked into his dreams - I've never even made a snow angel! :)
No changes needed as far as I can see.
Got another bundle of 421 letters returned today that I have to resend grr....
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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This is a fab little tale of a very cheeky (and chilly no doubt lol) guy giving his neighbors a good show :)
So sweet how his snow angel walked into his dreams - I've never even made a snow angel! :)
No changes needed as far as I can see.
Got another bundle of 421 letters returned today that I have to resend grr....
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Hi Jess! Thank you so much. I hope you get all your letters out? Why is that happening? Well, I don't get half of my mail. Just bills. Someone steals our magazines and packages. When I complain, it's just, "we'll look into it"...HA. I wish you had been here a few weeks ago. You could have made a snow angel! You just lay there and wave your arms and legs. It's silly actually, but kids love it...Thank you for this review my friend...hug! Susan
Comment from Fireshadow
Susan, very beautiful and highly creative Valentine story. The workings of your mind never cease to amaze me. This is a terrific entry for the contest, and I wish you my best for a win, my dear friend.
Ama
P.S.
When you have a chance, I would love for you to take a peek at "The ARENA" I just posted this afternoon. Thanks !
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Susan, very beautiful and highly creative Valentine story. The workings of your mind never cease to amaze me. This is a terrific entry for the contest, and I wish you my best for a win, my dear friend.
Ama
P.S.
When you have a chance, I would love for you to take a peek at "The ARENA" I just posted this afternoon. Thanks !
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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THank you Ama! I am very excited that you enjoyed this so? I am mental...so. I don't know. I have tried to take suggestions for fixes...so we'll see...") Thank you again, and oh! I did read the Arena! And I forgot there are big spaces in the first paragraph, EVIL eddie?!! HUGS! Susan
Comment from sasil
Awww...good to see a happy ending for this under-dog. Laughing at the old married couple, each with their own eye-candy. Good writing, no need to fix a thing! Thanks for sharing this funny one.
S.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Awww...good to see a happy ending for this under-dog. Laughing at the old married couple, each with their own eye-candy. Good writing, no need to fix a thing! Thanks for sharing this funny one.
S.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Hi Sasil! Thank you! I love it, "each with their own eye-candy"!! Good one! Thank you again my dear Sassie. Love hearing from you..xoxo. susan
Comment from Angelite
Awww this is awesome.
Hmmm frostbite on his tender bits sounds a little painful.
Loved the neighbours descriptions lol. Perfect name for them "Noseby' well close to nosey.
I just love the ending. As the Angel entered to claim.
Angel
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Awww this is awesome.
Hmmm frostbite on his tender bits sounds a little painful.
Loved the neighbours descriptions lol. Perfect name for them "Noseby' well close to nosey.
I just love the ending. As the Angel entered to claim.
Angel
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Oh Bless your heart Angel! Thank you...I am thrilled with this enthusiastic review...should I change the neighbor's last name? I wondered! I appreciate your ideas`!~~ HUG! Susan
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No, leave it as is,,,last name goes with the type of person the woman is lol
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
what a lovely story -
heartfelt, funny and
entertaining.
Loneliness is terrible -
mind, you can feel lonely
in a crowd.
God forbid, if I did have to be alone,
I'd have pets around me.
MArgaret
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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what a lovely story -
heartfelt, funny and
entertaining.
Loneliness is terrible -
mind, you can feel lonely
in a crowd.
God forbid, if I did have to be alone,
I'd have pets around me.
MArgaret
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Hi Margaret! Thank you!! I am SO pleased to see you liked this! I hope it wasn't too risque?? I wanted it to be humorous without embarrassment? I have 10 animals around me, it's lots of work. I would go to the asylum without them. Most people just cause pain...NOT all, just most...hugs to YOU! Susan
